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Transcript of Social skills
What are social skills?
"Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language and our personal appearance."
Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/social-skills.html#ixzz2ZLtEYIy2
520 E St, Eureka, CA, 95501-0314
HSU Counseling Center
When do they apply?
Social skills are important in personal relationships. In person they are used in the classroom, at parties, and interacting with people in other everyday situations. They are also important when speaking on the phone and communicating electronically, such as texting and e-mailing.
It is often referred to as body language.
Non-verbal communication differs between cultures. It includes how close you stand to someone when you talk to them, eye contact, hand gestures, other movement within the body, and tone of voice.
Research suggests that 93% of our communication is actually non-verbal!
Body Language in Dominant U.S. Culture
In the United States, it is generally considered to be polite to stand approximately 4 feet away, unless the other person is a close friend.
Body Language and
Your Personal Attitude
Body language not only affects how others
see you, but also how you see yourself. In her TED talk, Amy Cuddy described how people who stood in a position that conveyed confidence for two minutes were later perceived by others as more confident. These people also rated their own confidence as higher than those who did not stand in confident positions for two minutes! Check out her talk here:
Looking someone in the eyes shows that you are listening. It is important not to stare directly in someone's eyes for a prolonged period of time though because this can be construed as aggressive.
This is what you say. Verbal social skills include starting a conversation, keeping a conversation going, and being assertive. Check out this Prezi on assertiveness:
For a quick YouTube guide to conversation skills, I suggest checking out http://www.youtube.com/user/YourCharismaCoach/videos. The video below is the first part of "How to Keep a Conversation Going"
Talking to Others
What gets in the way:
Worrying about what others think
Not knowing what to say
Not feeling heard
Be honest about what you think, rather than thinking too much about what the other person is thinking
Use non-verbal communication to help you be heard
Work on conversation skills that will help you with what to say
Ask the other person about his/herself
Check in and make sure that you are both on the same page
Be aware of your non-verbals
Use assertive communication by speaking in the first person and not using blaming language
Talk about things the other person is interested in
Figure out what is easy for you to talk about and try to bring these things up
Be aware of the social situation and behave appropriately (ex., you do not want to act the same way with your academic advisor as you would at a house party)
Find more skills at www.succeedsocially.com
Body Language Around the World
Body language varies from place to place. Here is a short video that highlights some of the differences.
Crossed arms indicate a defensive position.
Holding one arm or any object in front of the body indicates nervousness.
The way you greet someone is typically based on your familiarity with them.
A family member or good friend may be greeted with a hug, while a coworker or stranger may be greeted with a handshake. Handshakes should be firm, to convey confidence, but not bone crushing