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Dealing with Difficult Team Members

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by

david alpert

on 12 April 2016

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Transcript of Dealing with Difficult Team Members

position
position
interest
interest
What can you learn by
looking at your story
through the eyes of this model?
imagine that you're in an elevator with your friend
what you see is that the world around you is moving
but from an other point of view, you're the ones who actually move
Following this logic
we can easily admit that
everything is relative.
Dealing with Difficult
Team Members
David Alpert
difficult
The Usual Suspects
Action
-
Intent
-
Effect
the
Iceberg
model
Circles
of Experience
Focus on Outcomes
What does it mean to be
?
Let's practice...
Working alone:
Pick one of the three theories.
Consider how it might apply to your story.
https://prezi.com/giwpfsdfpz0h/the-magical-theory-of-relativity/
What's
your
story?
Dealing with Difficult Team Members
Dealing with Difficulty
is mostly about
Control
Concern
Influence
Danger
Comfort
Learning
The
Learning
Model
The
Influence
Model
"judging", "valuing" are opinionated
& inference-based:
"noticing" is observational
& perception-based:
I see your foot is tapping.
You are holding your breath.

You are speaking quietly/loudly.

Those fields are aligned/not aligned.
You must be angry.
You look sad.
You seem happy.

That design is terrible.
That design is good.
Draw a House
4-Word Build
Identify a time in your life when you had a difficult time working with someone.
What made it difficult?
action
intent
effect
impulse
feeling
perception
understanding
Positions & Interests
memory
storytelling
meaning-making
emotion
reaction
core
noticing
With your partner, take turns:
Identify which model you used
Share what you learned
Practice noticing
Raise your thinking
Be
specific
to increase your learning:
Separate observation from evaluation
Focus on your sphere of control
Seek to understand before being understood
Slow down & raise your thinking
Identify and take responsibility for desired outcomes.
David Alpert
@davidalpert
about.me/davidalpert
What you see on the surface...
...is only a part of the picture.
Describe the situation.
Who was involved?
What was the issue?
How did you feel?
common ground
A key challenge when experiencing difficulty is lack of clarity.
What is your
goal
?
What do you
want
to see happen?
What expectations do you have of your coworkers?
How can
you
help make that happen?
Dealing with
Difficult Team Members
David Alpert
@davidalpert
Full transcript