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Habit #1

Management II

Mariya Davis

on 9 August 2015

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Transcript of Habit #1

Habit #1 Be Proactive I Am The Force "There are two types of people in the world." Proactive Reactive Those who take responsibility for their lives Those who blame others for their lives Those who make it happen Those who get happened to Habit #1 states: "I am the force. I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. I'm responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness. I am in the driver's seat of my destiny, not just a passenger" You don't have to respond the way everyone else does or the way people think you should! Reactive People: Make choices based on impulse. Proactive People: Make choices based on values. They recognize they can't control everything that happens to them, but they can control what they do about it. Scenario #1: You hear your so-called best friend bad -mouthing you in front of a group. Meanwhile, this same friend was sweet-talking you to your face. You feel the hurt and betrayal. What would you do? ? Reactive Choices: Tell her off. Then hit her.
Decide that she's a two-faced liar and give her the silent treatment for two months.
Spread vicious rumors about her. After all, she did it to you. Proactive Choices: Forgive her.
Confront her and calmly share how you feel.
Ignore it and give her a second chance. Realize that she has weaknesses just like you and that occasionally you talk behind her back without really meaning any harm. Scenario #2: You've been working at your job in the store for over a year now and have been extremely committed and dependable. Three months ago, a new employee joined the crew. Recently, he was given the coveted Saturday afternoon shift, the shift you were hoping for. Reactive Choices: Spend half your waking hours complaining to everyone and their dog about how unfair this decision was.
Scrutinize the new employee and find his every weakness.
Begin to slack off while working your shift. Proactive Choices: Talk with your supervisor about why the new employee got the better shift.
Learn what you can do to improve your performance.
If you determine you are in a dead-end job, begin looking for a new one. Hint #1: Observing their reactions to every day scenarios. Hint #2: Listen to their language. Reactive language sounds like: "That's me. That's the way I am." What they're really saying is: "I'm not responsible for the way I act. I can't change. I was predetermined to be this way" Reactive language sounds like: "If only I attended a different school, had better friends, made more money, lived in a different apartment... then I'd be happy." What they're really saying is: "I'm not in control of my own happiness, 'things' are. I must have things to be happy." Hint # 3: The Victimitis Virus Victimitis: noun. - A contagious virus that causes the infected individual to believe that everyone has it in for them and that the world owes them something. Other symptoms that may be present: Are easily offended
Blame others
Get angry and say things they later regret
Wait for things to happen to them
Change only when they have to Especially dangerous because: Those who were brought up in a household plagued with the victimitis virus are more likely to develop the infection themselves. Proactive People: Are not easily offended
Take responsibility for their actions
Bounce back when something bad happens
Always finds a way to make it happen
Focus on things they can do something about and don't worry about things they can't "There were times when I wanted to pound the guy, but I managed to keep my cool and ignore his silly attacks. Whenever he insulted me, I made it a personal challenge to treat him well in return. I had faith that things would work out in the end if I acted this way" Often all it takes is one person to create a friendship. In reality... Nobody is completely, proactive or reactive but probably somewhere in between. The key : Get into the habit of being proactive so you can run on autopilot and not have to think about it. Remember.. We can only control one thing and that is: The way we respond to what happens to us We must stop worrying about things we can't control and start worrying about things we can! Practicing this will lead to increase inner peace and will help you gain more control of your life. Circle of No Control Skin Color Weather Cost of Tuition Parents Location of Birth Rude comments Past Mistakes The thoughts and actions of others Circle of Control Ourselves Attitudes Choices Responses "It's not what happens to you in life, it's what you do about it!" -W. Mitchell -self made millionaire "So much has been given to me. I have no time to ponder that which has been denied" -Helen Keller Learn to Turn Setbacks Into Triumphs. Your boyfriend breaks up with you
Your roommate leaves you with the responsibility of covering the entire rent
Your car breaks down
You loose your job
You become seriously ill
You've experienced a death in the family These defining moments are the times when it is most important to be strong and act in a proactive manner. This is when it counts! How to Be Proactive: How to Be Proactive: Rise Above Abuse One of the hardest setbacks is coping with abuse sexual physical emotional psychological Confronting it is the only way to begin to heal. It is a long and difficult process but once you come to terms with it, it's the only then that you can start to live. How to Be Proactive Become a Change Agent Bad habits such as abuse, alcoholism and drug dependency are often passed down from parents to kids and, as a result, dysfunctional families keep repeating themselves. The good news: Because you are proactive, you can stop these bad habits from being passed on. You can become a change agent and pass on good habits to future generations, starting with your own kids. Change Agent #1 : Hilda First generation Mexican-American
Education was never valued in her family.
After her family decided to relocate back to Mexico, she realized that there were limited educational opportunities there.
She returned to the states to live with her aunt and for several years made great sacrifices to stay in school. You can choose to react like this Or like this By: Mariya Davis Possess a can-do attitude Possess a no-can-do attitude "Even though I had a kid and got married in high school, I kept going to school and working toward finishing my education. I wanted to prove to my dad that no matter what, he was wrong when he said no one in our family could be a professional" Change Agent #2: Shane Grew up in the Midwest in a poor section of town.
Faced many obstacles including his disapproval for the way his family members conducted their lives.
Soon moved in with his grandfather to escape his troublesome home life. "Things have gotten better now for me. I treat myself better and I show respect for myself. Although nobody in my family has ever gone to college, I've been accepted to three universities. Everything I do now is for my future." You have the power within you to rise above whatever may have been passed down to you. You may not have the option of moving upstairs to escape from it all as Shane did, but you can figuratively move upstairs in your mind. How To Be Proactive: Grow Your Proactive Muscles Autobiography In Five Short Chapters I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out. II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out. III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street. Can-Do Attitude If you think can-do, and you're creative and persistent, it's amazing what you can accomplish. To reach your goals in life, you must seize the initiative. Can Do: Careers of the Future No Jobs? Young Graduates Make Their Own "THE lesson may be that entrepreneurship can be a viable career path, not a renegade choice — especially since the promise of “Go to college, get good grades and then get a job,” isn’t working the way it once did. The new reality has forced a whole generation to redefine what a stable job is." - HANNAH SELIGSON nytimes “I’ve seen all these people go to Wall Street, and those were supposed to be the good jobs. Now they are out of work,” says Windsor Hanger, 22, who turned down a marketing position at Bloomingdale’s to work on HerCampus.com, an online magazine. “It’s not a pure dichotomy anymore that entrepreneurship is risky and other jobs are safe, so why not do what I love?” How To Be Proactive Just Press Pause II Learn to push pause
Get control
Think about how you want to respond Human Tool Box Self-Awareness Conscience Imagination Willpower Rosa Toto Situation Rosa has been taking her frustration about her break-up out on her mom.
Rosa uses her self-awareness to stand apart from the situation and evaluate her actions. Rosa begins to daydream about her school concert tomorrow and how awesome it's going to be. Rosa meets a friend who offends Rosa by asking her intimate details about her breakup. Upon returning home, Rosa's mother snaps at her about how long she took walking the dog. Rosa is using her imagination to create new possibilities for herself allowing her to visualize her future. Instead of taking offense she friendly informed her friend she didn't want to go into details. She was using her conscience which helps us distinguish right from wrong Rosa responds responds respectfully because she used her willpower before returning to decide she wasn't going to be confrontational with her mom. Although Toto is a loyal dog, he is completely unaware of himself and is incapable of standing apart from himself. Woof's imagination is about as alive as a rock. He can't envision new possibilities. Toto begins barking viciously. Dogs will do whatever their insticts compel them to do Toto has no willpower. He takes off chasing the paper boy. How To Be Proactive: Baby Steps Next time someone flips you off, give them the peace sign back. Listen carefully to your words today. Count how many times you use reactive language such as; "You make me", "I have to", "Why can't they..", "I can't". Do something today that you have wanted to do but never dared. Write yourself a post-it note: "I will not let__________________ decide how I'm going to feel. And refer to it often. At the next party or networking event, get out there and introduce yourself to people. Don't wait for the excitement to find you, you find it. -my job Next time you receive a grade you think is unfair, schedule an appointment to discuss it with you professor. If you get into a fight with a parent or friend, be the first to apologize. Identify something in your circle of no control that you are always worrying about. Decide now to drop it. Push the pause button before you react to someone who bumps you in the hall, calls you a name or cuts you off. Reactive people make choices based on impulse and are often infected with the victimitis virus. Proactive people think before they act and make choices based on values. Instead of focusing on their problems they focus elsewhere on things they can control. Quick Recap Reactive Language

I'll try
That's just the way I am
There's nothing I can do
I have to
I can't
You ruined my day Proactive Language

I'll do it
I can do better than that
Let's look at all our options
I choose to
There's gotta be a way
I'm not going to let your bad mood rub off on me Can-Do People

Take initiative to make it happen
Think about solutions and options
Act No-Can-Do People

Wait for something to happen to them
Think about problems and barriers
Are acted upon Self-Awareness: I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions

Conscience: I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong.

Imagination: I can envision new possibilities.

Willpower: I have the power to choose.

Remember Your Tools!! Thank You
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