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Dating With Purpose and Purity: Chapter 11

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by

Leanne Bell

on 13 June 2014

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Transcript of Dating With Purpose and Purity: Chapter 11

Courtship vs. Dating
- teaches you to be a good friend before jumping I to romantic relationship.
- you'll know the other persons family, friends and level of faith.
-- when skipping this you will be in an unhealthy relationship.
- the desire for love makes it important.

How Far is Too Far?
- two sets of standards.
-- needs dear set of boundaries.
* don't change your own boundaries or make excuses to cross your boundaries for him or her.

Why do we feel the need to safe guard and protect our so siblings/friends dignity but let ours go.. Reckless.

Instead of asking how far you can go
away
from purity, need to ask how far you can go
towards
it.

Things such as foreplay, porn, masturbation make it hard which make it impossible.
How far is too far in your opinion?


How To Stay Pure
Short Stories
"Today, when I asked my grandfather for some relationship advice, he said, "Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to find the right woman, and started trying to become the right man, your grandmother walked up to me and said, "Hello". That was the moment I knew I had found her."
Bridging The Gap
“Only the chaste man and the chaste women are capable of true love.”
- Pope John Paul ll

- Spending the quality time with the opposite sex can help you to learn the importance of adapting relationships first hand without the lusting or sexual factor.
- These relationships will help you to learn the principle of your vocation within the school of love. See all others as your brother and sister to prevent all the hardships of mixing the idea of love and lust.

Do you think this is a good way to view the opposite sex?
Name one thing you can do to enable yourself to see others
as a brother or sister in Christ.
Opening Prayer
Sir 2:1-6, 10, 11
"If you come forward to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for temptation. Set your heart right and be steadfast, and do not be hasty in time of calamity. Cleave to him and do not depart, that you may be honored at the end of your life. Accept whatever is brought upon you, and in changes that humble you be patient. For gold is tested in the fire, and acceptable men in the furnace of humiliation. Trust in him, and he will help you; make your ways straight, and hope in him... Consider the ancient generations and see: who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame? ... For the Lord is compassionate and merciful."
Dating With Purpose and Purity: Chapter 11
By: Leanne and Sabrina

The Relationship Pyramid
Look at the poster that was made to see the full impact that disturbing the order would make if one proceeds with sex before every other step.
The more pure you are, the easier it is to stay pure.
Prudent vs. Prudish
How to Avoid A Bad Situation
Sex and It's Value
Modern Dating
Terms
Closing Prayer
Purpose Of Dating
"There was a girl who was playing in the park when she saw a picture in the bush. She kept the photo, but forgot about it until she was married. Her husband asked, who is that little boy in her wallet. She answered: "My first love." Then the husband smiled and said: "I lost this picture when I was nine years old."
Bible Readings
Top 10 Cool Down List
1. You ain't getting none of this
2. God doesn't want to watch this
3. Phewf, I'm hot. Want ice-cream?
4. Nuh-uh uhhhh, you no touch
5. Can't touch this, na na na na na
6. I'm not ready to pursue your body
7. Let's wait until we both mean it
8. Our bodily desires are fooling our minds
9. How about let's not
10. It's too soon, were not in the right
relationship

"Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?"
Amos 3:3
"Love must be sincere. Hate is evil; cling to what is good."
Romans 12:9
How to avoid a hot physical situation
What is dating to you?
Why is there a different view on dating between adults and teenagers?
"Saint Perpetua and Felicity, please pray with me that I, like you both, would have the courage to safe quard my purity, especially when others are willing to jeopardize my salvation.
Amen."
Why do you think it is so important to teach and push teenagers toward purity?
- "recreational" dating is wrong.
- the ultimate point of dating is to find a spouse - if you date for recreational then you train yourself for failed relationships.
-- don't date anyone if you can't see yourself marrying them.
-- don't expect a change in them.
- "causal" dating (purposeful concept of courting) high probability that involves sexual activity.
-- brings with a host of spiritual, emotional and psychological problems.
Sexually active relationships are recipes for disasters.

- the way a relationship should start and expand to move up in the pyramid.
- by starting up with sex will make the pyramid unbalanced which it can't last and will fall.
- this will take away from gods plan.
-- can't grow off of the sexual activity.

-A prudent person is pure and possessed the virtue of chastity, however is someone who respects, protects and saves sex because it is valuable, beautiful and wonderful.

- A prudish person thinks sex is bad or "dirty"
Do you think it is necessary to date in order to learn about the opposite sex?

Give an example of a relationship that does not follow the true purpose.
How does a relationship building on friendship help stabilize things?
Assignment
"You have ravished my heart, my sister,
my bride" (Sng 4:9)
Purpose of purity is to be free to fall in love for the right reasons.
- Practice self discipline and experience freedom that comes with self-mastery.
-Patience, sacrifice, honesty, restraint, self-discipline make relationships and marriage last.
How to stay pure:
1. Pray for purity
2. Avoid impure relationships
3. Know your boundaries
4. Choose friends that will help you grow in purity
5. Get rid of impure social media
6. Don't be afraid to say "no"
We cause our temptations as we make our own decisions. Including which music we listen to and which parties we attend.
"If you compare yourself to those who are far from God, you will become more like them. Instead, compare yourself with the Saints who will inspire you to grow in purity and virtue."
Volunteer:
- Say "no" or that you "cannot do this" or others that work for you to avoid a situation you are not comfortable with.
This may be a steamy sexual interaction which is bringing you away from Christ.

-Temptations you may like or they may live but it is important to remember and realize that purity is an act of the will. Temptations and your ability to avoid them is an act of your will.

- We become pure by a life of intimacy with Christ, allowing him to love others through us.
(Not a life of intimacy with your significant other)
- Modern dating hurts more than helps one's chances of entering a happy/faithful marriage.

The Chemistry
- A chemical called Phenylethylamine (PEA) is in your brain which triggers and releases dopamine, giving you a blissful feeling.
- A hormone called Oxytocin, also has similar effects.
- These make a butterfly feeling, makes your heart race and gives you jitters. However, they wear off, somewhere between 3-4 months for teens in relationships.
- This can cause a fade of emotions and usually a fade of relationships as it almost tricks your into 'loving' someone. Most teenage relationships end around this period.
- When emotions fade, that comes the test of true love,
to see if their love is a true gift of self.
Modesty
WOMEN
"Men are lost through women and they are saved by women. By their vanity, they will make a man fall; by their modesty, they will save him."
- Dress appropriately and do not give them the wrong impression
- Need to stand up for ourselves and not let men disrespect us
MEN
"A man who has the habit of abusive language will never mature in character for as long as he lives." (Sir 23:15)
- Your speech reveals your quality of life
- Therefore, need to always speak respectfully about and to women
- Dignity, along with sex, is something intrinsic to the self.
It can never be taken away, only given.

And how can you date and live a life of purity, how can you set yourself apart in a culture that does not recognize the dignity of a person?
- Only way is to fall through God's Grace, specifically through sacraments. (And waiting for sex for marriage)

A sinful body is not a worthy dwelling place for the sinless God.
- Your designation as a walking tabernacle, filled with dignity, demands your whole self. Your sexless self.

So you need to respect God's gift and stay pure, stay away from messy teenage relationships and follow the true purpose.
Courtship (courting)
: A time of relating with another, getting to know the person, his friends and family through friendship before engaging anything farther. This is a good approach to pursuing relationships which can steam from a healthy setting where love can grow.
Example:
Starting off as friends with common interests, then starting to go on dates, lastly making the connection official and PURE.
Grace:
God’s life within us, which is a gift from God that helps us grow more like him.
Example:
refraining from any sexual interaction with a person who you love, this will keep the connection pure and authentic so you know it is real love and not lust.
Tabernacle:
A portable sanctuary containing the Ark of the Covenant (God’s presence) that the Jews carried with them on their travels in the Old Testament before they had a permanent temple for worship. In the Catholic Church this is the body of Christ in the form of bread. When we speak the body of Christ, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit and a place of his presence.
Example
: Your word of purity within a relationship. In this sense your actual body refers to YOUR word of Chasity, when you abide by that you are fulfilling the word and covenant to God and yourself.
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