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Happy Birthday Marisa

YOU KNOW WHY
by

Jane Doe

on 13 April 2011

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Transcript of Happy Birthday Marisa

Happy Birthday Marisa It's your special day, or rather, it was. I apologize, you can blame Dr. Zoltani for banning me from my computer. You should feel extra special knowing I'm breaking the rules for you. Darling we've had so many experiences together I find it hard to name them all. This is my best shot, so enjoy reminiscing about all our adventures, or maybe, misadventures. Happy Birthday Marisa.

Yours Truly,
Johanna and everyone else Gnomie
Yes, Gnomie receives his own section. Damn that gnome and all his gnominess. He has cost Ellis' life ONE too many times, and all those times Nick escaped. Lemme tell ya, Ellis was NOT feelin' the love. STOP! DON'T SHOOT HER! Oh, my goodness. We are SO embarrassing. I just wonder what the heck the neighbors must have thought of us loonies. However, it was necessary. Just think what would have happened if I hadn't! I would have lost my best and longest friend. Not to mention Imagi would have died and then Erick wouldn't have found the love of his life. Everytime, I think back to it, I break out into uncontrollable fits of giggles. No doubt you will too. DERP Enough said. The Elixir of Life Not only is this the name of the tantalizing golden liquid that grants eternal life, it is the name of the essay you helped me write. For all the times you've helped me out in a stinky situation, THANK YOU. I am feeling the love. Never Forget Never forget the love we share, Marisa. Even when you ditch me, choose Gnomie over me, or let any of the special infected take me in your stead. I know you do so with love. Chuck E Cheese's OMG. Do you remember all our times at this joint?! We went there all the time when we were younger. So many memories, so MANY adventures. Do you remember playing pokemon in the ball pit? Or crawling around in the big play toy? Good times. Gooooooood tiiiimes. You ARE my new dream EUUUUGEEEENNNNEEE.
I told you it was an amazing movie. It is so adorable. I want you to know that I can quote nearly the whole movie. I am a NERD. But at least I have a nerdly best friend like you. That way, I'm not lonely. I love you, nerd. A taste of your own medicine... Remember that time you suddenly decided it would be a super fantabulous idea to leave me behind while you ran for safety? I remember that. NOW you know how it feels. You: The tank's over there, I'ma stay back here.
Me: *looks over and the tank is right behind you* *runs away* HAHAHAHAHA
You: What? Wh- HOLY SHIT THE TANK JUMPED OVER THE BARRIER, I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD DO THAT!
Me: *a safe distance away* HAHAHAHAHAHA. Revenge is sweet bitches I like to eat ponies The Ninja game whose name I have long since forgotten. My first experience with blood, gore, and killing came from you. Now that I think back to it, you were a TERRIBLE influence on my young mind. Ah well, the end has justified the mean. Thanks, darling, for introducing me to M rated games at age 7. And to THINK Colleen thought I wasn't allowed to play M rated video games...HAHA, funny stuff. It's so NINJA you can't even see it. Marth and Roy Our all time favorite characters. They have been a symbol of our friendship for years and years. Blue and Red, Red and Blue. Red Vs. Blue... They have anyways been with us. It's a good thing we never let Princess Peach or Zelda come between their love. Marth: Roy, I love you...
Roy: Marth, I have always loved you! *breaks his shield* *lurches forward and kisses Marth*
Marth: O-Oh Roy, your kisses are so hot.
Peach: BITCH! He is MINE! *whaps Marth with a turnip.*
Zelda: EXCUSE ME? We are fated to be together. Even though I transform into a man! *magicks Peach and grabs Roy forcefully*
Roy: No! Marth is my one true love! *beats them away*
Roy and Marth: *break their shields and make out with each other in a drunken stupor* Johanna: Dude he's a man.
Marisa: No WAY! Marth..she...he...MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE!
Marth: *thinking back to the mental and physical abuse he suffered*
Roy: Oh Marth, you're my one true loooove!
Marth: Shut up ROY! I'm a MAN, I like MEN. Why doesn't ANYONE understand that. Jeez, stupid fool.
Roy: You're just jealous that all the ladies loved me back in Melee. *sticks tonque out*
Marth: Hardly. You're more jealous of me, seeing as I made it into Brawl and you didn't.
Roy: *pouts* Jerk. *eats CHEESE*
Marth: I never understood your obsession with cheese... Dreams Why the HELL, do I almost ALWAYS die in your dreams?! And if I don't die, I'm like a pyscho, I get raped, or you get the hot guy and I get squat diddle. *Sigh* Our dreams are strange. But, I love having someone to tell them to. Thanks for being my dream buddy.(AWH, DOUBLE MEANINGS FTW)
All the Reasons I LOVE YOU FIRE EMBLEM Holy Cow. This game... Nothing will EVER compare! Without you, I never would have found out about this game, and my whole life would have been incomplete. Thank you. You complete me.
I want Roy's Fire Emblem SO BADLY College You are going to college, Evergreen to be exact. Although I don't particularly like the place, it is conviently placed(AKA closer to me). I'll come visit you if you come visit me! Get your license. YOU May all your birthday wishes come true. I don't think I could have asked for a better friend. I love you, punk. More than I love Tangled. More than I love Roy. I know it's blasphemy, but it is true. Breaking the doctor's rules was worth it for you. Happy Birthday weirdo.
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