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Hei Huarahi - Our Sexual Journey

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Vicky Brown

on 22 June 2017

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Transcript of Hei Huarahi - Our Sexual Journey

Hei Huarahi - Our Sexual Journey
What does effective communication mean?
- Make a list of ideas on the board, and copy into your books.
Do activity "Yes, Yes Yes!"
Do activity "Sit down for yourself"

- then complete a journal entry in the back of your books by completing the following sentence: "As a result of today's activities I know......"
Do activity: 'What d'ya think?'
R.E.S.P.E.C.T...What does it mean to.....
Respect someone else?

Respect yourself?

Respect your body?
Does it have the same meaning for everyone?
Do we all respect the same things?
How does the way we display respect differ
between people?
In small groups, read the statement given and discuss.......
Who is saying this; age? gender? why?
What message are they trying to get across?
In your books.....
1. Copy down one of the scenarios
2. Write down where you think these pressures are coming from; self, friends, family, societal expectations, cultural beliefs, classmates (it is likely to be more than one)
3. Underline any words where you think the person is telling you something about where the pressure is coming from and draw lines out to the side to state who these people may be.
.....or LOVE?
Move to the corner of the room that best suits your opinion when the statement is read.
Fantasy vs. Reality
Perfect partner
Real life partner
Perfect first sexual experience
Real life first sexual experience
Perfect relationship
Real life relationship
Group girls and allocate one point to each group. List descriptions of what might go under your heading!
How might our ideas about these things affect the way we see or do things on our sexual journey?
Discuss the following questions and make notes in your book.
To be assertive is to:
stand up for your rights and not be taken advantage of.
communicate what you really want in a clear and concise fashion while respecting your own rights and feelings as well as those of others.
give an honest and appropriate expression of ones feelings, opinions and needs.
What does being sexually 'aggressive' mean?
What does being sexually 'passive' mean?
What does being sexually 'assertive' mean?
Why might a lot of sexual negotiation be non-verbal? What does this mean?
Is it easier to be aggressive, assertive or passive? Why?
How would you prefer to be treated in a sexual situation and why?
What are the risks to our well-being because of the way people treat us?
Do role play (in groups of 3):
Our response to situations is not always going to be 'no', but if it is 'no', then it needs to be strong and clear. People need to respect their bodies and speak up for their own pleasure and comfort, BUT it is not always possible to protect yourself, especially where significant power imbalances and violence is involved. In these situations it is not the victims fault.
What decisions do we make, or need to make, around relationships and sex?
'I' statements explain to someone in an assertive way what the problem is, how it makes you feel and what they can do about it.
"When you ........
I feel ........
I'd prefer it if you'd........"
Have a go with the person next to you!
Oh the diversity!!
Hand out cards. See if you can match them up.
OR.... When I read out a meaning, if you think you have the matching word come on up/read it out.....
Car Park
Hand out cards. Keep what is on your card to yourself. Stand up at your seat.

"You are yourself, at the age you are now. You have been in this type of relationship for at least 6 months."

I am going to read out some statements.
If you can answer 'yes' put your hands up in the air, if you would answer 'no' sit down, and if you are 'not sure' fold your arms
(or choose another similar alternative to suit your class)
Discuss the feelings people from each group had about answering these questions.
What has this told us about how society perceives same-sex relationships?
How might these attitudes affect a same-sex relationship? What about the people in the relationship?
How does MGC support those in same-sex relationships?
Think quick - what comes to mind when you see/hear the words 'boys' and 'girls'? Note ideas on the board.
If you were to meet someone who has just arrived on earth, what sort of things would you have to tell/teach them about people and relationships in order for them to fit into society?
Who would normally teach us these things?
Write a sort story that includes at least 1 male and 1 female character and is based around their first romance, or sexual experience using some commonly known stereotypes that exist according to young people.
Watch the following clip and be ready to discuss afterward (Note: it is 19min long)
Sam's tale
I need 7 volunteers to come up and read a section of a scenario.
What could they have done to prevent such a situation?
Discuss the following ;

What is it about alcohol use that leads to unwanted consequences in sexual situations?
When alcohol gets in the way of making healthy decisions in sexual situations how could each of the 4 aspects of hauora be affected?
Think quick - words or ideas to do with
Sober sex vs. Drunk/wasted sex
Discuss the positives/benefits and negatives/risks - make a note of these.
"My high school boyfriend and I wanted to save intercourse for later in our lives, but that didn't stop us from having orgasmic sex! We explored ourselves and each other, and learned how to kiss and touch in very imaginative ways!"
Was this couple having sex? Why/Why not?
In small groups discuss:
What do you think the benefits were for this couple by not having intercourse?

What are other physical and non-physical ways that couples can show they are attracted to, like or love each other?

What do you think would have been the challenges (pressures) for them by deciding not to have sexual intercourse?

How could they go about handling these pressures?
Hand out the cards.
Choose a starting point on the roundabout.
Which cards are appropriate at the start of a relationship?
What might happen after that?
Can you move backwards around a roundabout?
What happens if someone chooses to miss the first two exits and always goes to the last one?
You can be in control of your own journey, move round the round-about at your own speed, and get on (start) and off (stop) when you choose.
.... comes at different stages during people's sexual journey. When it is time it is ideally a wanted and pleasurable experience and both partners are prepared and ready to handle any unintended consequences.
Was this activity easy or hard?
Where has your knowledge come from?
What do you find confusing about these definitions?
Match the meaning to the word - do this to the side so it can be on the board for the next activity. Copy into your notes.
Sex vs. Sexuality
Why do people exercise?
Why don't people exercise?
What if we changed the title to 'choose to have (or not have) sex?
People have different reasons for why they choose to have or not have sex and this should be respected. People need to make their own decisions about sex, EVERY TIME. Reasons for why someone chooses to or not may change over time.
"In the Youth 2007 survey, involving around 9000 secondary school students, 38% of males and 35% of females reported they had had sexual intercourse"
Of those who were currently sexually active around 15% reported inconsistent use of contraception.
Why do young people not use contraception when they are sexually active?
..... Hand out 'Didn't use anything' cards. Girls are to order these most to least common.
Are there others that have not been included in the list?
What are the barriers to accessing contraception?
What do you think is the difference between a reason and an excuse?
Are these statements reasons or excuses?
Why do we feel the need to make excuses?
(What types do you know? What is it and how does it work? What questions do you have about each one?)
What are the most common ones used for people of your ages? What about adults? Why might it change over time?
.... are easily transmitted and often forgotten about. They are prevalent among NZ young people and are a real cause for concern. Some have long term and serious effects if not treated.
Think quick.... what STI's can we think of/do we know of???
Are they bacterial, viral or parasitic?
Chlamydia, warts, gonorrhoea and herpes are the most prevalent in NZ!!! Lets go over them briefly.
Discuss the following questions and write brief answers in your books;
1. Do young people want to catch STI's? Why/Why not?
2. So why do so many in the 16-25 age group catch them?
3. Is there a perception that only certain types of people have STI's? If so, who?
4. What kind of feelings would a person have if they caught one?
5. What stops people getting medical help if they know or think they have an STI?
6. As well as the effect on the physical body, how might having an STI affect social, and mental and emotional well-being?
7. Could it also affect someones spiritual well-being? How?
STI Continuum.... listen to the following statements and be prepared to move and justify.
Choose one to complete the entry below.
Do activity: What have they got?
Activity: Amy and Jayden - read out
Calling the shots - "What are some of the negative ways you know of that people have broken up?"
Make a list on the board.....

... don't write what is written here; simply answer each question/statement
.... privately think about, and then write down, any fears you may have about your sexual journey and/or why you may feel afraid of this. If you don't have any, Think of fears others may have and why?
...hand in and discuss anonymously.
Do activity 'Relationship levels" - hand out cards, then discuss
OK or NOT OK????
- Use cards to create 2 columns;
OK or Not OK
- Remove 'OK' cards and both headings
- With the remaining cards, decide if you would 'Dump' or 'Stay' with your partner if they did these
Things to ponder:
BELIEF; what someone holds to be true
ATTITUDE; the position a person takes and shows to others in the way they relate
VALUES; things (ideas, understandings, ways of doing things) people hold as being important to them
MORALS; what people hold to be right or wrong
External Female
External Male
Internal female
Internal Male
What do we know already?
Go over, and discuss
Do activity: "Under Pressure"
- groups of 3
- demonstrate strategies for responding to pressure situations
Share with peers; share general ideas and stereotypes with the class.
How was the movie portrayed?
What issues did it bring up?
What feelings did this bring up in you?
How does it relate to our society as we are today?
Who did/does this sort of view affect?
What might need to change for this sort of thing to not be an issue anymore?

The next two clips are approx 7 mins each (FYI)
Do activity: 'Making Decisions'
Do activity: 'Considering the consequences'
Abortion Quiz - What do you know?
Recognising consent
What is consent? Lets try to come up with a definition
Are the following consent or not?
- A woman and a man are lying on a bed with their clothes off. They have never had sex before. The man puts his penis inside the woman's vagina and she asks him to stop. He doesn't.
- A young woman gets drunk at a party. She is flirting with and kissing a young man. After dancing with him she passes out in a bedroom. The young man has sex with her
- Two men are sitting on a couch watching TV together. One begins touching the other man's penis. They both smile and begin kissing and touching each other.
- Two people are lying on a bed with their clothes on. One begins kissing and touching They both takes their own clothes off before continuing on to have sex.
Consent is about everyone involved in a sexual or possibly sexual interaction
consent is fereely given not pressudre
consent can LAWAYS be withdrwan
Nothing makes consent aoutmatic - agreeing to something isn;'t afgreeing with everything
Sometimes consent can't be given - drunk/wasted, asloeep, unable to understand what one is saying yes to incuding possbile rishs and outcomes, being under the age of 26
non-consent means STOP
A lack of NO does not mean 'YES'
What can consent sound like?
What can non-consent sound like?
Possible non-verbal signs of consent
Possible non-verbal signs of NONconsent
Full transcript