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Why Kesha Doesn't Suxx


Nova Richardson

on 28 February 2013

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Transcript of Why Kesha Doesn't Suxx

Why you should love Ke$ha So... Kesha, right? She's a fucking inspiration. So she dropped out of school at 17
to follow her dreams. Not that you should. Her dream was to write music and become a pop star.
She succeeded! So why is she an inspiration? Oh? You mean besides:
She supports the LGBT community
She's a feminist
Equality all around! FOR EVERYONE DAMMIT
She raised $70,000 for victims of a Tennessee flood. How about the fact that she auto-tunes to exploit the system? Don't believe me? Just listen... So why does she love glitter so much? Why wouldn't anyone love glitter? I'll lay it out for you. "Oh, I’d turn him around. I’d just throw it at him. The glitter’s not really a choice. When you’re around me, you’re going to get glitter on you. It infuriates a lot of people who hang out with me. They get glitter on them and it won’t come off for days and it ruins their game. But I think it’s incredible." "It’s my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over. I can’t do that if I don’t have a shit-ton of glitter." She spends thousands on glitter a month. BUT WHY? So, here's what she says about loving glitter... "If I smear glitter on my face, you don't have a choice you will be more attracted to me. It's part of our brand makeup. So anyway, then I started thinking, why just do my eyes? Why not my entire body? And at the end of my shows why don't I put a backpack on that's like a hand-held cannon and blast glitter at people? So not only do I look attractive, but so does everybody whose dancing? It's kind of like become my thing." "Glitter! Glitter is my makeup of choice. Tying into the whole animal theme, I am a diver, and this barracuda tried to eat me once. I realized it was because I was wearing a gold bikini, a lot of piercings, and was covered in glitter. Apparently most animals are instinctively very attracted to glittery things-our brains are just drawn to them. So I figured, Why not smear it all over my face?" Still not enough? Jack Daniels is an anti-bacterial. Yeah, she brushes her teeth with it on occasion. Ever heard her song Blah Blah Blah? Yeah, well it's about the double standards of society, and talking about men the way the talk about women. Do you like cats? So does Kesha She has a pet cat named Mr. Peeps. Their secret language is dinosaur, and they have a psychic connection. She's written songs for all your favorite pop stars! Katy Perry
Miley Cyrus
Brittany Spears Wait? You don't like pop? It's okay, I don't really either. How about punk rock? Ke$ha's first demo was recorded when she was in a punk band with her older brother. suck it Who influenced this kick-ass woman? Amazing artists like:
Beastie Boys
Johnny Cash
Bob Dylan
Iggy Pop
Keith Richards
Her mom Let's get serious now. In American schools, no sex is safe sex. Ke$ha has a line of condoms. Let's face it. Teenagers party. At least Ke$ha lets young girls know they're not sluts if they decide to have sex, and she offers safety while they're at it. How is Kesha good for media and the shit it sells? "Confidence sells" Teenage girls and boys hate themselves. With Kesha's motto of enjoying yourself, and being confidant, maybe someone can feel better about themselves. In this fast moving society, we take things too seriously. If you sit back and listen to at least one Ke$ha song, you'll see what she's preaching. The need for relaxation and partying sometimes. Not only does she say haters are pretentious ass-holes, but she follows her words. She ignores them. Yet another thing teenagers need. So yeah. This woman is my hero. She's an inspiration, and takes time to preach everything I believe in. You think she's conforming to society, but really she's giving your society a big "FUCK YOU!"
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