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Transcript of Keys
Adler, Ronald B., and Russell F. Proctor II. Looking Out, Looking In. Boston: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2005. Print.
The Three Ways to Deal with Difficult Emotions".
Paid to Exist.
n.p.. n.d.. Web. October 23, 2014.
Self-Awareness: Understand what their emotions are telling them. Confidence is key to the self-awareness trait. Know their strengths and weaknesses and they focus on both traits to become a better person.
Self-Regulation: Capacity of controlling our impulses. This type of emotional intelligence lets the person not get too emotional. They manage their emotions.
Social Skills: The skill to interact & communicate with large groups of people or just one person.
Motivation: Gives us aims & the ability to drive achievement to ourselves or other people.
Empathy: Awareness of another persons' feelings
Guidelines for Emotions
Recognize Your Feelings: Recognizing feelings in many ways like physical changes, monitoring nonverbal behaviors, monitoring thoughts.
Recognize The Difference Between Feeling, Talking, And Acting: Understanding the difference between having feelings and acting them out.
Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary: Using different words instead of good and bad. Perception checking.
Share Multiple Feelings: Self questioning. Different reactions.
Consider When And Where To Express Your Feelings: First flush of strong feelings not the best time to speak out. Never expressing feelings.
Accept Responsibility For Your Feelings: Language.
Be Mindful Of The Communication Channel: Social Media.
Managing Difficult Emotions
Facilitative Emotions: contribute to effective functioning
Debilitative Emotions: detract from effective functioning
Differences: Intensity and duration
Keys to Emotional Intelligence
By Makell Wilson, Johnny Reyes, Darian Christiansen, Malorie Fuhriman, and Wesley Kauvaka
Fallacy of Perfection
The belief that a worthwhile communicator should be able to handle every situation with complete confidence and skill.
Fallacy of Approval
The belief that it is vital to get the approval of virtually every person.
Fallacy of Shoulds
The inability to distinguish between what is and what should be.
Fallacy of Overgeneralization
1) When we base a belief on a limited amount of evidence.
2) When we exaggerate shortcomings.
Ways We Deal
1) Express the Emotions
2) Suppress the Emotions
3) Transform the Emotions
Is very ineffective and can be harmful
Suppressing strong emotions can lead to a lack of focus.
a) Labeling: "...short is better – sit with the emotion for a moment, give it a label, let it go" (Mead).
Pause, think through the possible consequences that will happen if you act on your emotions, decide what action is in your best interest.
b) Reframing: putting a different interpretation onto the same set of circumstances.
You can label an event as terrible or awful or you can label it as "useful" or a learning experience.
This takes work!
Fallacy of Helplessness
Suggests that satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control.
Fallacy of Catastrophic Events
Operate on the assumption that if something bad can possibly happen, it will.
What are Emotions?
The physical factors that happen internal.
Reactions that happen to the outside appearance due to emotions.
how we interpret what our body is telling us.
The words you use to express your emotions
Based on the irrational belief that emotions are caused by others rather than by one's own self-talk.
Fallacy of Causation
Recognizing the Difference Between Feeling Talking and Acting
Emotions come and go.
Emotions can be mild, intense, or anywhere in between.
There are no good or bad emotions, but there are good and bad ways of expressing (or acting on) emotions.