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FOUR INTERPERSONAL THEORIES

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by

James Bunker

on 19 September 2014

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Transcript of FOUR INTERPERSONAL THEORIES

FOUR INTERPERSONAL THEORIES
Expectancy Violations Theory
Relational Dialectics
Personal Idioms
Love Styles

Love Styles
Personal Idioms
Relational Dialectics
Expectancy Violations Theory
Theory of Appropriate Interpersonal (Conversational) Space
Personal Space Expectations
People's space as a elaboration of culture
Personal Idiom Categories
Examples
Core Concepts of EVT
Proxemics
0 to 18 inches
18 i
18 inches to 4 ft.
4 to 10 ft
Public Distance: 10 ft to infinity
4 Proxemic Zones
Should NOT cross distance boundary uninvited
So should we violate other's expectations?
Yes- when you have a good idea it will be received positively

No- when outlandish behavior will be received negatively/offend.

Maybe- when you're not sure. Let the person you are communicating with (his/her actions, attitude, etc.) dictate your decision.

If on thin ice, curve and conform.
If you're up one, take a chance.
Expectancy
: predicted to occur vs desire
Context
similarity, familiarity, liking
Cultural norms, conversation setting
Relationship Factors
Similarity, Familiarity, Liking
Communicator characteristics
demographics, personality
appearance, communicator style
Violation Valence
:
Positive/Negative value assigned to breach

Communication Reward Valence
Size up others in terms of potential rewards/punishment
Dialectical Tensions
Inevitable part of life and relationships
Represent mutually opposing needs or desires that must be negotiated through interaction
Tensions never fully resolved just managed
Questions
Three Tensions
Autonomy v. Connection
one's need to connect with others and the simultaneous need to feel independent and autonomous
Expressiveness v. Privacy
one's need to be open and self-disclose while also maintaining some sense of privacy
Predictability v. Novelty
one's desire for events that are new and spontaneous while simultaneously needing some aspects of life to be predictable and stable
Do you find yourself navigating these tensions in your own relationships?

How do you negotiate these tensions with your relations partner?


Teasing Insults:
Confrontations:
Expressions of Affection
Sexual Invitations
Sexual References
Requests and Routines
Partner Nicknames
Labels for others outside relationship
Eros
Love is a game
Played with multiple partners
Deception and manipulation are acceptable
Commitment, jealousy, attachment are not
Ludus
Storge
Love results slowly from friendship
Stability and psychological closeness desired
Passion and intense emotions avoided
Commitment is high
Love is assumed and enduring
Pragma
Colors of Love:
Pragma
Mania
Agape
Eros
Ludus
Storge
Agape
Obsessive Love Style
Characterized by dependence, uncertainty, jealousy, and emotional upheaval
Need repeated assurance
Mania
Romantic Elements of love emphasized
Physical Beauty is important
Immediate attraction
Emotional intensity and strong commitment
Serial monogamists
Initiate sexual intimacy early in relationships
Being "in love" is highly valued
Logic and and reason are central
Love planning and computer mating
Analytic determination of compatibility, and future prospects
Altruistic, giving, other centered
Non-demanding love style
Gentle caring
Tolerance for Partner
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