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Transcript of Social Relationships
At first, friendships are based on proximity
Positive interactions with caregivers and siblings show children that social relationships are enjoyable and rewarding; they learn to seek them out in other children.
Beginning to spend more time with peers
Being accepted and having a best friend becomes very important; "chumships"
Learn and experiment with different social behaviors.
By interacting with children who are alike and different from them they begin to outgrow their egocentrism and develop different perspectives of the world.
Quantity and quality of friendships effect self-esteem
Really susceptible to peer pressure, rejection, approval and conformity.
Entering puberty and become more independent from family;
Peers, instead of family, become the main source of support
Emergence of cliques
Strong need to belong and be accepted; rejection is a major stressor
Relationships can have positive or negative effects.
Spending even more time with peers, trying out different roles and different interactions.
Trying to figure out their “identity” through their relationships.
Enhancing Self-Concept and Self-Esteem in Children and Adolescents Through the Development of Social Connectedness
Will Never Hurt Me
The tower is set up for the group, making sure to shuffle
all question types.
Eulogy and 7 Roles
Marc Bourgeois, PhD, LPC-S
Savannah Cormier, MS, LPCC
Claire Landry, MS
Retrieved from: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gsqh5R3Moc
Retrieved from: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gsqh5R3Moc
Retrieved from: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRteokw7m80
Boys and Girls (2000)
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
unless I let them
Ask client to make a list of things people say that are hurtful
Explain that you're going to read the list BUT they'll be wearing earmuffs so they won't be able to hear (Teaching how to ignore messages)
After reading, discuss how they felt as you read the statements.
Discuss that he/she can pretend to be wearing earmuffs to block out/ignore these messages
and not let words hurt them.
Reverse role play where you use rational coping statements ("What they say isn't true, so why upset myself?")
Bearman, P. S. & Moody, J. (2004). Suicide and friendship among American adolescents.
American Journal of Public Health, 94
Brockman, D. (2011).
From Late Adolescence to Young Adulthood.
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Bugenthal, J F. T. (1965).
The search for authenticity.
New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Wilson.
Cohen, S. (2004). Social relationships and health
. American Psychologist, 59
Covey, S. (2004).
The 7 habits of highly effective people.
New York: Free Press.
Davis, M. H. & Franzoi, S. L. (1987). Private self consciousness and self-disclosure. In V. J. Berlega & J. H. Berg (Eds.),
Self-disclosure: Theory, research, and therapy.
New York: Plenum.
Dang, M. T. (2014). Social connectedness and self-esteem: Predictors of resilience in mental health among maltreated homeless youth.
Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 3
Duru, E. (2008). The predictive analysis of adjustment difficulties from loneliness, social support, and social connectedness.
Educational Sciences: Theory and Practice, 8
Gainsley, S. (2013). Building friendships in preschool.
HighScope Extensions, 27
Gifford-Smith, M. E. & Brownell, C. A. (2003). Childhood peer relationships: Social acceptance, friendships, and peer networks.
Journal of School Psychology, 41,
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Group psychology and the analysis of the ego.
Jourard, S. M. (1964).
The transparent self
. New York: Van Nostrand.
Kline, W. (2003).
Interactive group counseling and therapy.
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.
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Trends Child Research Brief.
Howell, J.C. (2010). Gang prevention: An overview of research and programs.
Juvenile Justice Bulletin. 1-24.
La Greca, A. M., & Harrison, H. M. (2005). Adolescent peer relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships: Do they predict social anxiety and depression?
Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 34
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Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74,
Lee, R. M. & Robbins, S. B. (2000). Understanding social connectedness in college women and men.
Journal of Counseling and Development, 78,
Maslow, A. H. (1970).
Motivation and personality (2nd ed.).
New York: Harper & Row.
Pfister, M. (1996).
The rainbow fish.
New York: North-South Books.
Rogers, C. R. (1961).
On becoming a person.
Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Shultz, W. C. (1973).
Elements of encounter.
Big Sur, CA: Joy Press.
Teasedale, T.C. (1976)
Social Psychology. Reprinted in Euson, B. (1994). Communicating Team Building, p. 35.
Tiwari, P. & Ruhela, S. (2012). Social isolation & depression among adolescent: A comparative perspective.
Umberson, D. & Montez, J. K. (2010) Social relationship and health: A flashpoint for health policy.
Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51
Vernon, A. (2002).
What works when with children and adolescents: A handbook of individual counseling techniques.
Champaign, IL: Research Press.
Vernon, A. (2009).
Counseling children & adolescents (4th ed.)
Denver, CO: Love Publishing Company.
Learn that being someone's friend gives them "status" with other children.
Prefer same-sex playmates.
"School-age children like and befriend others who are similar to themselves not only with respect to superficial characteristics like age, gender, and physical appearance, but also in terms of more complex psychological characteristics such as humor, politeness, sociability, sensitivity, play style, and play complexity, as well as prosocial behavior, antisocial behavior, shyness, victimization, group acceptance, and depressive symptoms." (Gifford-Smith & Brownell, 2003).
With increased self-confidence, they no longer depend on their peers for emotional support, and begin to base friendships more on compatibility and common interests.
Adolescents without intimacy skills (the ability to connect emotionally with another individual) are more likely to be anxious, depressed, and isolated.
vs. Stinky Fish
Read the story of Rainbow Fish,
a fish who learns about sharing and being a good friend.
After reading the story, tell your client they are going to get to go fishing!
Supplies needed: fish cutouts with phrases about effective and ineffective social skills, paperclips, string, magnets, 2 buckets.
Have a conversation with them about how some fish are
"friendly fish" that help people feel good, but some fish
are "stinky fish" that can make people feel sad.
After catching a fish, your client will have to decide which
fish go in the friendship bucket and which go in the
"Stinky Fish" Bucket.
Late Adolescence: Ages 18-21
-Choices and challenges shift to include decisions
about educational and vocational training,entry into the work force, and sometimes marriage and parent hood.
With this intervention, teach your client about I-Messages and listening.
Supplies needed: Card stock cut in the shape of a stop sign, construction paper, markers/colors, pipe cleaners.
As your client is creating their puppet, explain to them that the face is in the shape of a stop sign to remind us to STOP when we feel upset. The mouth is drawn to teach us to SPEAK when we're upset. The hands and arms are put on to remind us to SHARE. And the ears are added to remind us to LISTEN to each other.
Role play with your client, using the finished puppet to talk about something that upset them. Take turns passing the puppet back
and forth, modeling "I feel ____
when you take my toy. Let's
take turns instead!"
Create "Who" "Where" "What" and "My Response" cards
The oldest player gets to begin the game by being the "judge". The judge chooses a "Who" "What"
and "Where" card to create a sample scenario.
The other players each get a "My Response" card and create a response for the judge's scenario.
The players anonymously put their "My Response" cards in the middle and the judge chooses which response they feel is the most appropriate.
The players may all discuss why they feel a response would or wouldn't be appropriate.
The creator of the winning
"My Response" card gets to
be the next judge.
(Adapted from Castle-Well Therapeutic Play; http://www.castlewellgames.com).
(Adapted from Education.com)
Ask your client to select three other people in his/her life that may have different perceptions of them (friends, parents, teachers, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.).
Ask them to section a paper or poster into 4 and title each section "How ____ sees me" with the last one being "How I see myself".
Clients can draw, write words, lyrics, quotes, or find magazine clippings to fill each section with how they think each person sees them, ending with how they see themselves.
Ask them to tell you about each section including what they like and what they would like to change.
Have a conversation about what they feel they need to
do differently in their relationships to get people to
see them differently.
Supplies: Cards with sample situations and
coping strategies that your client's age group may encounter.
Have them pair up with a partner and give them each a sample situation. Each person must write an effective AND ineffective coping strategy and have their partner decide 1) which is which and 2) what makes them effective
-There are distinct increases within capacities to think abstractly, consider multiple dimensions of problems and reflect on the self and life experiences.
-Relationships: primary supports that help youth navigate adolescence and transitions into adulthood.
-Strong need for building and supporting family relationships and resources to adolescents
-Not many resources available for youth transitioning to work force
-Pressure from peers increases to engage in problem behaviors, such as substance abuse
-Rising need to create and support positive peer groups, helping youth develop strong social and personal identities
Used to visually depict social connectedness
On a sheet of paper or poster, adolescents draw
a circle in the middle to represent themselves
and then add circles at varying distances to represent
those they see themselves connected to.
Circles drawn closer to the "Me" in the middle represent
individuals that are physically close to the client.
Arrows connecting the circles represent the quality of the relationship.
A straight arrow symbolizes a good connection; a dotted
arrow symbolizes a weak connection.
Each relationship has two arrows (what you give and
what you get from the relationship).
Allows adolescents to display, analyze,
and think about how they can
We become group members at birth...we cannot escape group membership.
Picture yourself going into a funeral; You walk up to the coffin and surprisingly, you see yourself in the coffin; You sit to listen to the eulogies being said about you;
Chose 4 people in your life (i.e. a friend, co-worker, someone in the community, or a family member.)
What would you like each of them to say at your funeral?
Come up with a eulogy for each of them
Break down your life into 7 different roles (i.e. friend, student, brother/sister) and choose up to 3 people each role is crucial to. If you were fulfilling that role well, what would each person say?
Helpful in defining adolescents' different
identities/roles and time being devoted to them
Exercise in intentional,effective communication and active listening.
(Adapted from http://firstgradebuddies2.blogspot.com
(Boys & Girls, 2000)
Adapted from: www.curriculumsupport.education.nsw.gov.au/secondary/pdhpe.assets/pdf/tlsupp_004.pdf
Fantasy football manager
Ragin Cajun Fan
Frisbee golf player
Fantasy Football League
is a sense of closeness and belongingness that develops in relationships that range from acquaintances to intimate relationships (Lee & Robbins, 2000).
Successful interaction = Greater Social Connectedness = Personal Value & Self-Esteem
(Gifford-Smith & Brownell, 2003; Vernon, 2009).
(La Greca & Harrison, 2005; Vernon, 2009).
(Adapted from Vernon, 2002).
(Vernon, 2009; Gainsley, 2013).
Adapted from "Breaking Down the Difference" by Angela Skerrett-Lege
Intimacy associated with of effective self-disclosure and partner disclosure in interpersonal exchanges (Laurenceau, Barrett, & Pietromonaco (1998)
Effective self-disclosure highly associated with effective social functioning and sense of well-being (Davis & Franzoi, 1987)
Effective self-disclosure lead to connectedness (Jourard, 1964)
Higher levels of social connectedness and self-esteem associated with lower levels of psychological distress, resilience, better mental health (Dang, 2014)
Social connectedness associated with effective adjustment to life transitions (Duru, 2008)
As you're fishing, talk about the phrases written on
the fish. How do they feel when others act that way?
Is that something they do? What are
some things they can do when
someone is behaving like a
Supplies: Jenga or stacking tower game; labels for each
wooden block for discussion topics that encourage
Bugenthal (1965): Rootedness and relatedness as core existential needs
Freud (1922): Need for affiliation
Maslow (1970): Need to experience a sense of belonging
Rogers (1961): Development of self-worth in the context of their relationships
Shultz (1966): Inclusion, control and affection as essential interpersonal needs
The members take turns pulling the blocks. As each person selects a block, they are to follow the instructions.
The counselor should allow for discussion to continue as long as the members wish.
Common interests or feelings should be reflected
back to the group to emphasize connections.
Process how their perceptions of each other
has changed after playing and what
they think lead to this change.
Supplies: Large paper or Poster; magazine clippings (optional); crayons or markers
Let a player pick from the pile, read out loud and
decide whether it describes an effective or ineffective interpersonal coping strategy.
If it is ineffective, have them come up with a more effective coping strategy.
Talk about what caused it to be ineffective and what it is about their strategy that would be more effective.
Adapted from: Covey (2005)
Put two people back to back and pose a question about communication.
Because you are not able to communicate face to face, you have to be more intentional about what you want to express to your partner.
To adapt for a larger group, use a
reflecting team to hear about what
others noticed about
You also need to be more intentional about listening to what your partner is saying.
(Old School, 2003)