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9 essential Skills of Love and Logic

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Jill Rexford

on 1 January 2013

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Transcript of 9 essential Skills of Love and Logic

. #2 Delayed Consequences 1. Deliver consequences with empathy.

2. Keep it short, sweet, simple and repetitive.

3. Choose an empathetic statement you like and be genuine. Sarcasm will ruin the moment and the relationship.
•"This is so sad."
•"This must be tough."

4. Be sad not mad.

5.Your non-verbal communication is huge! They will be able to tell if you’re not sincere. 1.Recovery is not Time-Out.

2.The Recovery Process is not designed to force kids to do their assignments.

3.The Recovery Process is not designed to cure kids of emotional problems.

4.The Recovery Process is strictly used to minimize a student's ability to interfere with learning and/or teaching. #4 The Recovery Process Fan 'N Pick:
Turn Your Words to Gold. 9 Essential Skills of Love and Logic #3 Empathy Step 1: Go Brain Dead
•It will do no good to reason with a student who wants an argument.

Step 2: Choose a One-Liner
•I respect you too much to argue.
•I know.
•Probably So
•I’m sure it seems that way to you.

Step 3: Do not attempt to think
•Choose a one-liner you like and become a broken record

Step 4: If the child continues to argue
•I argue at 12:15 and 3:00 daily. What would be best for you?
•If needed, continue to repeat What would be best for you?Always remember to continue with what you’re doing. A student won’t argue long with no audience. 1. Neutralize Arguing #5 Develop Positive Relationships 1. Focus on the student’s nonacademic strengths and interests.

2. Try the "I noticed" technique.

3. Never embarrass the student!

4. Find teachers who can help you tag team a student.

5. Smile, smile, smile!

6. Listen and try not to give advice unless asked.

7. Never lecture or threaten.

8. Don’t try to talk with a student when he/she is upset. #6 Set Limits with Enforceable Statements 1. Enforceable Statements convey the message: "This is how I’m going to run my own life."

2. Limits are set when the adult says: "I’ll be working from page 17." "I teach when it is quiet." "I’ll listen to those who raise their hands."

3. Limits are enforced when the adult does not engage in arguments about the limits. #7 Use Choices to Prevent Power Struggles Guidelines for Giving Lots of Little Choices:

1. Never give a choice on an issue that might cause a problem for you or for anyone else.

2. For each choice, give only two options, each of which will be okay with you.

3. If the child does not decide in 10 seconds, decide for him/her.

4. Only give choices that fit within your value system. Examples of Little Choices:

•Should this paper be due on Wednesday or Thursday?

•Do you want to do this in groups or in partners?

•Feel free to do this in pen or pencil.

•Would you like to go to recess on time or late?

•Can you stay with us and stop that, or do you need to leave for awhile and come back when you are calm?

•Feel free to choose where you sit as long as it does not cause a problem for anyone else. #8 Quick and Easy Interventions
Quick and Easy Interventions are intended to be preventative and help you be proactive in your classroom discipline.

Because problems that happen in the classroom need to be solved between the teacher and the student, interventions can be used to keep problems from getting too big to handle.

Quick and Easy Interventions should be used whenever possible rather than sending the student to the office or using consequences for everything. #9 Guide Kids to Own and Solve Their Problems 1.Empathy: How sad. I bet that hurts.

2. Send the power message: "What do you think you’re going to do?"

3.Offer Choices: "Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?"

4. Have the student state the consequence of the choice. Then ask, "And how would that work?" Instead of saying:
"Raise your hand!"

"I’ll call on those who raise their hands." Don’t try to handle difficult behavioral situations during class.

Instead try saying: "I’m going to have to do something about that, but not now, I’m teaching. I’ll think and get back to you. Try not to worry about it in the mean time." The attitude of the teacher should be:

"You are welcome to be with us for every good minute—this means every minute you are not making it difficult for me to teach or for others to learn. You are welcome to use Recovery to get yourself back together. We want you in the classroom, so return just as soon as you know that you can be here without bothering anyone else." Instead of saying
"Please be quiet. It’s time to begin."

"I’ll be glad to start as soon as you show me
that you are ready." Now, let's give it a try! Learning Goal: We can create self-sufficient learners while providing a loving and understanding support system built upon respect. Love and Logic provides simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have more fun and less stress while raising responsible kids. #1 Neutralize Arguing Instead of saying: "Don't talk to me in that tone of voice!"

Instead try saying: "I'll listen as soon as your voice is calm."
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