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Bullying 101: The bully, the bystander and the active defender

7th grade classroom guidance
by

Jennifer Thomas

on 14 November 2013

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Transcript of Bullying 101: The bully, the bystander and the active defender

Bullying 101
The bully, the bystander and the active defender
"Just kidding", teasing or bullying
We all have a part in the "script" of a bullying incident....
Is there really a difference
between a bully and a bystander?
We Need More Info...
What is Bullying?
Words Hurt
Types of Bullying
Ground Rules
Bullying is a negative and aggressive behavior, or series of behaviors, that involves an imbalance of power or strength. It is abusive and often repetitive.
Physical

Verbal

Relational
For years, Angel has made fun of her best friend Dave's peanut butter obsession. "You'd eat my gym sock if it was covered in peanut butter," She once told Dave. One day in the science lab, the students designed mazes to test the intelligence of mice. When the teacher told the class that they would be baiting the mice with peanut butter, Angel called out, "Better be careful-Dave might get to the end of the maze before the mice!" The other students broke out in laughter.
On Monday afternoon, Rob stayed after school to hand campaign posters around the school, which read, "Vote Rob for Student Council President." On Tuesday morning in homeroom, Rob found one of his posters taped to the blackboard in the front of the classroom. Someone had crossed out the word, "President", and replaced it with "First Lady." One of Rob's classmates pointed to a girl in the first row, indicating that Maria had altered the poster. Rob glared at her as he tore down the poster. "It's just a joke," Maria laughed. "Lighten up-I'm gonna vote for you."
*
Listen to each other
*
RESPECT
*
Raise your hand to participate: Questions are welcome!
*
If sharing a particular situation, avoid
using names
NOW WHAT?
It can be
verbal,

physical
and/or
relational
. It can have as its overlay
race, ethnicity, religion, gender (including "homophobic" bullying), physical ability or mental ability.
It includes all forms of cyber-bullying. It can be and is often repeated over time.
What Bullying is
NOT

CONFLICT:
Any two people can have a conflict (a disagreement or a fight), bullying only occurs when there is an
imbalance of power.
TEASING:
There is a difference between good-natured teasing and the hurtful teasing that is bullying. Let's call the hurtful teasing "taunting.
TEASING
TAUNTING
Occurs between friends

Pokes fun in a harmless way

Is meant to get both people to laugh

Can switch roles

Is innocent in motive

Is not intended to harm

STOPS
when the target becomes upset
Is meant to hurt

Causes fear

Humiliating, cruel, demeaning

Continues especially when the target gets upset

one-sided

is intended to harm
Read the following scenarios. You decide if it is teasing, joking or bullying...
Sonia recently moved to Louisville and just finished her first week in a new middle school. At 5 fit. 8 in., she towered over most of the 7th grade class. While looking for a place to sit, another student called to her, "Hey shorty, there's a spot over here!" Sonia paused for a moment and another girl from the group waived her over. "Dont pay attention to her," She told Sonia. "That's just the way we talk to each other. They call me Einstein because I got all C's on my last report card."
Joking, Teasing or Bullying?
Joking, Teasing or Bullying?
Joking, Teasing or Bullying...
* Bullying can be hard to identify in social contexts

*We need to know the victims feelings and context of what happened.

There may be some situations where you need adult assistance and that is
OKAY!
Does it matter if your "Just Kidding"?
If you are going to say something about someones appearance, ethnicity, race, or ability, even if your joking, its better to just not say it.
THINK
BEFORE
YOU
SPEAK
What role will you choose?
Victim
Bully
Starts the Bullying.
Takes an active role
The one who
is exposed. The
target.
Victim
The one who
is exposed.
The target.
Bully
Starts the bullying.
Takes an active role.
Bully
Follower
Bully
Supporter
Quiet Bully
Supporter
Bystander
Possible
Defender
DEFENDER
Takes an active role,
but does not start the
bullying.
Supports the bullying,
but does not take an active
role.
Likes the bullying,
but does not show
open support.
Watches what happens
knows it's not right. Considers
it none of their business and
moves on.
Dislikes the bullying and thinks it should stop. Wants to help but does not. Might get embarrassed.
Dislikes the bullying, tries to help the victim.
What you DON'T do matters as much as what you DO.
Cyber
BE A DEFENDER!
4 Courageous strategies:
1. Invite the student who is the victim to sit/hang out with you.

2. Confront the Bully using phrases like "How would you feel if..."

3. Distract; tell a joke or change the subject
.

4.
REPORT, REPORT, REPORT!
Save anything that is in writing, e-mail, text or posted on a social networking site.
" Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?"

JESUS
said, "
Love the Lord your God
with all your
heart
and with all your
soul
and with all your
mind.
This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:
Love your neighbor as yourself.
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Matthew 22:36-37
Objectives:
Define what bullying is and is not.
Identify the roles we all play in bullying.
Prevent Bullying from happening in our school and community.

" Any one who claims to be in the light, but hates his brother
is still in the darkness.
"
1 John 2:9
Self Reflect:
Have you ever bullied someone?
Have you ever purposefully left someone out?
It is important to apologize when we say something
without thinking, and someone gets hurt.
Whatever is True, Whatever is noble, whatever is right, Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...Think on these things.
Full transcript