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Copy of Crucial

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Samantha Whitaker

on 28 September 2012

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Transcript of Copy of Crucial

Crucial Conversations Tools for talking when stakes are high How To Stay Focused On What You Really Want Start with Heart Cleanse your mind to look for positive opportunities to bring you to a discourse How to decline the sucker's choice Learn to know others VALUE ADD How much level of respect do people say you have? MAKE IT SAFE R- Recognizing the goal
I-Inventing a Common Goal
B- Brainstorming new ideas What evidence do you have to support the story? Master My Stories Definition of a Crucial Conversation : It is a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2)opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong According to the authors of
Crucial Conversation Being able to work on me first By realizing that the best person you can improve on is you, one is able to shape an approach that will benefit and lead to success. Start with Heart
To commence discussions with positive intent
Moment of Truth
To evaluate how the intent of the heart can play a major role in the way we dialogue. Being able to focus on what you really want Begin to question or think about your motives if you feel like your being propelled to act in a silent or violent manner According to this book three questions we should ask ourselves are:
"What does my behavior tell me about what my motives are?"
"What do i want for myself? For others? For the relationship?" This creates a sense of clarity when trying to focus on certain goals or in this case what one really wants. Learn to recognize the moment when your choosing the Lesser position Certain ways you could be forfeiting acquisition
If you are choosing between to strive for peace and honesty, or between winning and losing Choose to disconnect from these so called "Lesser Choices" Step Out If an environment around you is engaging in silence or violence turn away from the conversation and make it safe Which step of Determining Safety Is At Risk Mutual Purpose: Are people able to identify you as compassionate?
Do they believe you possess an intent that is true and honest Mutual Respect: Learn to apologize when appropriate If you have crossed the line and have done something inappropriate learn to apologize. Contrast to Fix Misunderstanding If you have misrepresented yourself through dialogue state what you did not intend to convey and further explore what your intent was originally. USE THE CRIB ACRONYM TO GET TO A MUTUAL PURPOSE If multiple purposes are conveyed there are four skills to create or promote a common goal C-Committing to finding a common goal Objectives:
How to drive conversations to success
To understand what crucial conversations are
How to build a conversation so that recipients hear and receive your message to create an agreed solution
How to position yourself An alternative to preventing strong emotions from keeping you stuck in silence or violence is: Notice your behavior: If you find yourself moving away from dialogue begin to question your motives. To retrace your path Am I in some form of silence or violence? Learn to get in touch with your feelings What emotions are encouraging me to act in this manner? Analyze your stories. Question your conclusions and look for possible explanations What story is bringing out this emotions? Go back to basics and look at the facts. Distinguish between the truth and your invented story. Watch for clever stories: Sharpen your communication skills If you want to change and grow,then do it. “The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here’s how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations.”
—Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator of the #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul To improve is to change;to be perfect is to change often
-Winston Churchill We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is crucial. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation." As opposed to a casual discussion, crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. By: Liam Brown An alternative to preventing strong emotions from keeping you stuck in silence or violence is
To retrace your path
Notice your behavior: Master My Stories
If you find yourself moving away from dialogue begin to question your motives Learn to get in touch with your feelings What emotions are encouraging me to act this way? Analyze your stories? Question your conclusions and look for other possible explanations? Get back to the facts? What evidence do I have to support this story? Mutual Purpose
– The Entrance Condition
– “You know that I care about your goals.” Establishing Mutual Purpose To help your partner see why you are having this conversation
- A reason that is so compelling that he or she will be willing to take part 5+7= (cc) image by anemoneprojectors on Flickr MUTUAL PURPOSE means that others
perceive that we are working toward a
common outcome in the conversation
• MUTUAL PURPOSE means that we care
about their goals, interests, and values (vice
versa)
• MUTUAL PURPOSE is the entry condition
of dialogue
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