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Word Choice Presentation

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by

Karla Lazcano

on 15 February 2013

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Transcript of Word Choice Presentation

Word Choice Karla Lazcano
Chris Tangsavath
Jessica Leon
Christina Nguyen Concise Sentences Sentences with redundant phrasing repetitive wording, wordy expressions, and unnecessary intensifiers are tiresome to read and may be difficult to understand. Concentrate on choosing words well, simplifying sentence structure, and avoiding words that are unnecessary or evasive. EXAMPLES • WRONG: In many cases, this situation may be due to the fact that these women were not given the opportunity to work.
• CORRECT: This situation may occur because these women have had no opportunity to work.
• REASON: There is no need to use too many words to say what you want to say in your sentence, instead using fewer words can help you get your point across faster. Note: Even though you may need to add detail or examples to clarify your ideas, cutting out useless words will make your writing more focused and precise. Eliminate redundancies
and repetition Redundant phrasing adds unnecessary words to a sentence. Repetitive wording says that same thing twice. EXAMPLES WRONG: Many machines in the drilling area need to be updated to better and more modern equipment. CORRECT: Many machines in the drilling area need to be modernized. WRONG: All these recommendations are interconnected to one another. CORRECT: All these recommendations are interconnected. REASON: Try not to use different words that mean the same thing in a sentence. Delete extra words from a redundant or repetitive sentence. EXAMPLES WRONG: In addition, there is a customer service center for the convenience of the customers. CORRECT: In addition, there is a convenient customer service center. REASON: Try not to use different words that mean the same thing in a sentence. ACTIVITY Directions: Eliminate redundancies and repetition of the following senteces 2) Student volunteers will no longer be overworked, overburdened, and over exhausted from working continuously at the jobs without any breaks because of the shortage of labor. 1)The colleges in the state of California rely too much on the annual income of the student’s parents and not enough on the parents’ true financial situation. 1) CORRECT: California colleges rely too much on the annual income of a student’s parents and not enough on the parents’ true financial situation. 2) CORRECT: Student volunteers will no longer be exhausted from working without breaks because of the labor shortage. Eliminate words that do not
add to the meaning of a sentence -Rewrite a wordy sentence to reduce the number of clauses and phrases.
+Concentrate on turning clauses into phrases or replacing phrases, especially strings of prepositional phrases, with individual words. Sometimes we can even consolidate a series of sentences into one. -Eliminate wordy expressions, or replace them with fewer words.
+Extra, empty words can creep into a sentence in many ways. Rewrite a wordy sentence to simplify its structure. EXAMPLE:

•WRONG: One of the best examples in recent times of an athlete being completely overexposed is that of Michael Phelps.
•CORRECT: Michael Phelps is an excellent recent example of an overexposed athlete

•REASON: Try not to use too many words in a sentence that does not help give meaning to it. EXAMPLE:
•WRONG: Demanding Eldridge’s resignation at this point in time will not solve the problem.
•CORRECT: Demanding Eldridge’s resignation now will not solve the problem.

•REASON: Remove any unnecessary words in your sentences. EXAMPLE:

•WRONG: There are always five or six spots open at the ends of the rows.
•CORRECT: Five or six spots are always open at the ends of the rows.

•REASON: To make a sentence more clear rewrite it using concise wording. Note: Often, as in these examples, the verb be is far less precise than another verb might be. Whenever possible, replace am, are, is, was, and other forms of be with a stronger verb that clearly defines an action ACTIVITY Directions: Eliminate words that do not add meaning to the sentence. 1) There are many possible alternative solutions to teen pregnancy. One solution is not going to work alone to solve the problem. But there are disadvantages that come along with them. 1) CORRECT: No single alternative will solve the problem of teen pregnancy, and all the possible solutions have disadvantages. 2) However, in most neighborhoods, the same group of people who write the newsletters are the ones who organize and participate in the activities. 2) CORRECT: However, in most neighborhoods, the same people who write the newsletters also organize and participate in the activities. Eliminate unnecessary intensifiers or hedges Delete unnecessary intensifiers such as very, really, clearly, quite, and of course Although intensifiers can strengthen statements, eliminating them
or substituting more forceful words is often more effective EX. Your choice could very possibly make the difference between saved and a lost life

=>Your choice could make the difference between saved and a lost life. EX. The plot of this movie is really great.

=> The plot of this movie is thrilling Question: How would you change the phrase to eliminate the unnecessary intensifier? The arrangement of the plain blocks
(is so unique that it) makes the sculpture seem textured. Answer: Add unique before arrangement and eliminate the underlined phrase.
-Some intensifiers are unnecessary because the words they modify are already as strong as possible. Answer: Add unique before arrangement and eliminate the underlined phrase.

New Sentence: The unique arrangement of the plain blocks makes the sculpture seem sculpture

Reason: Some intensifiers are unnecessary because the words they modify are already as strong as possible. ACTIVITY Eliminate Unnecessary Hedges Writers use hedges such as apparently, seem, perhaps, possibly, to a certain extent, tend, and somewhat, to avoid making claims that they cannot substantiate. Hedges, however, make writing tentative and uncertain. EX. In most cases, realistic characteristics tend to undermine comedy's primary function of making us laugh at exaggerated character traits.

=>Realistic characteristics often undermine comedy's primary function of making us laugh at exaggerated character traits. ACTIVITY Which of the following is an example of a hedging sentence?
a. The report seems to be incomplete.
b. The deadline is next Tuesday.
c. The financial statement needs to have two sections.
d. None of the above is hedging. Answer: a) because hedges are words such as apparently, seems, perhaps, or possibly. Eliminate unnecessary prepositions If the word following the preposition is the object of the verb, the preposition may be unnecessary. EX. I went to the hospital so the clerk could admit me in.

=> I went to the hospital so the clerk could admit me. ACTIVITY Which of the three words in paranthesis should be eliminated?

Nothing happened, (and) my doctor ordered (for) them (to) stop inducing labor. The following preposition is the object of the verb. THE END
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