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Transcript of Finding Balance
Social Emotional Standards
Standards, in general, are composed of statements that express what a student knows, can do, or is capable of performing at a certain point in their learning progression
(often designated by “grade” or its equivalent).
We identify 2 important peer cultures: one that stigmatizes effort (thus, where it is “smart to be cool”) & one that rewards ability (where it is “cool to be smart”).
Research completed in January 2017, built from a longitudinal study culminating in 2015, Identified two peer cultures:
-one that stigmatizes effort (Fixed Mindset)
-one that rewards ability (Growth Mindset)
Both of which directly effect educational activities/energies/successes by young people when others are witness to it
Understanding motivations of the students in both cultures, supports understanding and combating "the root causes of educational underachievement."
There is a universal framework behind the 7 Mindsets, of SEL from "research [that] has shown that the qualities that empower humans to achieve happiness and success have not changed over the centuries"
SEL is not about content mastery, nor is it about competency development. It is about changing the way young people view themselves, their environments and the future.
To Promote Success for Our 5th Graders
-Changes the decisions students make and the actions that they take
-Students are empowered by changing how they perceive the way they experience their life (change their mindsets)
Standards that build capacity in the 7 Mindsets
1. Fostering High Expectations
2. Build Self Knowledge
3. Drive Connectedness
4. Promote Accountability
5. Elevate Perspective
6. Foster Service and Empathy
7. Create Presence
4 Reason for Misbehavior
There are four goals of misbehavior. The child is usually unaware of his goals. His behavior, though illogical to others, is consistent with his own interpretation of his place in the family group.
he wants attention and service. We respond by feeling annoyed and that we need to remind and coax him.
: he wants to be the boss. We respond by feeling provoked and get into a power contest with him--"you can't get away with this!"
: he wants to hurt us. We respond by feeling deeply hurt-- I'll get even!"
-Display of inadequacy:
he wants to be left alone, with no demands made upon him. We respond by feeling despair--I don't know what to do!
If your first impulse is to react in one of these four ways, you can be fairly sure you have discovered the goal of the child's misbehavior.
A child who wants to be powerful generally has a parent who also seeks power. One person cannot fight alone; when a parent learns to do nothing (by withdrawing, for example) during a power contest, s/he dissipates the child's power, and can begin to establish a healthier relationship with him. The use of power teaches children only that strong people get what they want.
No habit is maintained if it loses its purpose, its benefits. Children tend to develop "bad" habits when they derive the benefit of negative attention.
What can we do as a family?
What can we do as a family?
Minimize mistakes. Making mistakes is human. We must have the courage to be imperfect. The child is also imperfect. Don't make too much fuss and don't worry about his mistakes. Build on the positive, not on the negative.
A family council gives every member of the family a chance to express himself freely in all matters of both difficulty and pleasure pertaining to the family. The emphasis should be on "What we can do about the situation." Meet regularly at the same time each week. Rotate chairmen. Keep minutes. Have an equal vote for each member. Require a consensus, not a majority vote on each decision.
Have fun together,
and thereby help to develop a relationship based on enjoyment, mutual respect, love and affection, mutual confidence and trust, and a feeling of belonging.
This makes it so that your relationship doubles as an example for your child to reflect your family values in school, and other times when they are away from you.
Instead of talking to nag, scold, preach, and correct, utilize talking to maintain a friendly relationship. Speak to your child with the same respect and consideration that you would expect.
We must build that self concept and value, paired with empathy, if we are going to have have prepared students for the challenges of middle school and beyond
Always remember to...