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Habit 5

First seek to understand, then to be understood
by

Shannon St. Clair

on 17 November 2013

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Transcript of Habit 5

Habit 5
seek first to understand,
then to be understood
"Before I can walk in another's shoes,
I must first remove
my own."
WHAT'S IN YOUR SHOE?
THE DEEPEST NEED OF THE HUMAN HEART
"No one cares how much you know
until they know how much you care."
everyone wants to be understood
o uppose hannon atiently aited
S S S P W
self-centered
selective listening
Word listening
spacing out
pretend listening
Five Poor Listening Styles
GENUINE LISTENING
listen with your eyes, heart, and ears
SEE WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
Word, Tone, and Body Examples
Surface
Underneath
mirroring
mirroring
surveys have shown...
people would rather
than
die
speak in public
SEEK TO BE UNDERSTOOD
BABY STEPS
YOU WILL BE A BETTER LISTENER
So Suppose Shannon Patiently Waited
So. . .
Self Centered
-advising

-probing

-judging
Suppose . . .
Selective Listening
Shannon. . .
Spacing Out
Patiently. . .
Pretend Listening
"Yeah"
"Uh-huh"
"Sounds good"
Waited. . .
Word Listening
Ignore:
Body Language
Feelings/Tone
True Meaning
wandering mind
impersonal
-partially listening
-only note:
WHAT INTERESTS YOU
personal experience
forceful questioning
"high horse"
Story
Time
attitude
desire
"You can't take the car out tonight!"
"I can see you're upset.:
"As I get it, you felt that . . ."
"So, as I see it . . ."
"You feel that . . ."
When You Do it Right
universal message
"I didn't mean to insult "
" didn't mean to insult you"
you
I
"I didn't mean to you"
insult
"I didn't mean to you"
insult
"I didn't mean to you"
insult
( rolls eyes away from you )
( looks at you sincerely )
see
care
listen
Were You Listening?
Quiz!
"Before I can walk in another's shoes,
I must first remove
my own."
Habit 5
-see how long you can keep eye contact with someone
while they are talking to you

-watch people communicate with each other

-try mirroring someone, just for fun

-ask yourself "which of the five styles you need to better
YOU WILL BE A BETTER PERSON
YOU WILL BE BETTER UNDERSTOOD
Then...
Full transcript