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Crucial Conversations

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by

Albert Van Niekerk

on 6 November 2012

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Transcript of Crucial Conversations

DIALOGUE
Pool of
Shared Meaning
SAFETY
Withdrawing
Avoiding
Masking
Controlling
Labeling
Attacking
SILENCE
VIOLENCE

See
/
Hear
Tell
a Story
Feel
Act
ME

See
/
Hear
Tell
a Story
Feel
Act
OTHER
SAFETY
Pool of Personal Meaning
Pool of Personal Meaning
Two Levers
1. Learn to Look
in
or
out
of dialogue
2. Make it
Safe
What do I really want?
Behave accordingly
1. Start with Heart
Avoid the Sucker's Choice
Master my Stories
Retrace your Path to Action
Watch for Clever Stories
BEFORE
DURING
2. Learn to Look
Recognise Silence
Recognise Violence
3. Make it Safe
Establish a Mutual Purpose
Apologise
Contrast
Watch out for Clever Stories
Victim
Villian
Helpless
Blaming
Character Flaw
Situational
5. State My Path
4. Master My Stories
Share, Tell, Ask, Talk tentatively, Encourage testing
6. Explore the Other's Path
AFTER
7. Move to Action
- round off the conversation
AMPP: Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase, Prime
Decide how you will decide
Document decisions
Follow up
A. Agree
B. Build
C. Compare
Full transcript