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To what extent does betrayal in a relationship affect the person after the betrayal itself?

Inquiry
by

Kent Lambert

on 31 May 2011

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Transcript of To what extent does betrayal in a relationship affect the person after the betrayal itself?

To what extent does betrayal in a relationship affect the trust in the person after the betrayal itself? 3 Types of Trust Knowledge-based Trust Calculus-based Trust Identification-based Trust This is when you know someone inside and out.

It is not founded on control.

This trust grows from repeated interactions and the understanding you have of eachother. It is created through the fear of violating the trust, but also has benefits for keeping it.

The trust is based on calculations on what is best for them.

Like a pros and cons list, there must be more pros with staying.

If relationship is severed, they must be ready for the consquences. This trust comes when it is a peaceful relationship where they can understand and react for one another.

Where both people in the relationship are very similar, they share the same goals and values.

Very effective trust because you are able to act on the other persons behalf and do things that you know they will approve of. How To Cause These Trusts To Falter KBT CBT IBT When this type of trust fails, it hurts quite a bit because the relationship is based on prediction and you were not able to predict the event.

This event may have occured due to a recent event that led to one of the members in the relationship to re-evaluate there priorities.

After this trust is broken, it is very likely to stay that way or it will never be fully back. This event has likely occured because it has been calculated that leaving the relationship may have more benefits.

It may not have been noticed prior to the event because one of the members has not been throughly invested into the relationship itself. This violation in trust can really transform who you are as a person.

This loss of trust hurts more than the others because it is like seeing someone who you is very similar to you and who you have shared a lot with hurting you.

After a violation of this type of trust it is extremely hard for both parties to recover. Examples: A Member of my Family's First Marriage: During that member of my family's first marriage she met him in highschool and became married as highschool sweethearts. But eventually she stopped realizing the little things she let slide for no reason and all they did was keep getting bigger. Eventually when she did notice and get told, he was cheating on her which is a major violation in a relationship especially a marriage. That has changed her for life in the way that she sticks up for herself a lot more and makes sure she does not let people walk all over her and she is much more protective now. 8 Mile In the movie 8 Mile it shows that the main character lets this woman in that he obviously finds attractive and has feeling for, eventually he walks into a recording studio and sees her having sex with another man and at first you can see it totally destroys him. But eventually you can see he is learning from the lessons it has taught him to create a better life for himself. Chemical Effects It has been found that the drug oxycotin, is known to play a role in the sentiment of trust.

It has been tested that oxycotin lowers the activation of the structures in the brain that are used to deal with such negative things like the betrayal of trust.

So the higher your oxycotin levels, the easier it is to get through betrayal. Conclusion Betrayal can affect someone for a very undetermined period of time. Depending on the type of relationship they had, how much trust they had for each other and lastly the amount of time they did trust each other for. But there are a couple things that are constant in all relationships of all sorts, and for varying lengths. Trust itself was present. And in all of my research, experience and examples I had realized that it never really leaves. It follows you everywhere always keeping a piece of yourself locked out. Directly after the betrayal itself it will be hard for a undetermined length of time, then it will slowly ease away. But never completely. It will always have a presence in the decisions made to let someone in again depending on the person and if the trust was truly real.

I have found a quote that simply describes what the answer is, “Betrayal is the only truth that sticks” by Authur Miller. This shows that a betrayal in a friendship, relationship, marriage etc. will never completely leave. It affects most decisions even if you don’t know that it truly does. Like for example again in that member of my family's marriage. He betrayed her in the simplest way in a marriage, he cheated on her. And ever since she was cautious when letting people in and trusting them. And that is my answer.
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