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Communication Styles

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Millinda Sibbald

on 24 January 2016

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Transcript of Communication Styles

Communication Styles
Introduction
Welcome to Assessment 2A of COM10003 Learning and Communicating Online:

The topic of this presentation is Communication Styles. We have selected five styles to discuss, in terms of how they look, sound and are interpreted by an audience.

Our team consists of the following members, covering each style;

Loretta Mackenzie - Passive communication
Jonathan van Beek - Assertive communication
Jason Cooper - Passive Aggressive communication
Leigh Moneghetti - Aggressive communication
Millinda Sibbald - Manipulative communication

We hope you enjoy this presentation and find it useful when communicating with people around you.

Manipulative
Communication
Introduction

According to the author of “How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People”, Preston Ni (2014), there are two types of Manipulative behaviours;

Healthy Social Influences and Psychological Manipulation.

Preston states "in psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another."
How it looks

They know how to detect your weaknesses. Once found, they use your weaknesses against you.

In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation (Ni 2014).
How it sounds

You must know your rights when dealing with people of this nature. For example;

You have the right to be treated with respect and to express your feelings, opinions and wants. You have the right to set your own priorities and to say “no” without feeling guilty. (Ni 2014)


How it's interpreted
Victims do not realise they are being manipulated, due to the tactics used by the manipulator. They are very good at controlling the situation, for example;

"I didn't have time to buy anything, so I had to wear this dress. I just hope I don't look too awful in it." Is seen as 'fishing' for a compliment. (Newton 2013)

Conclusion

Assertive Communication
Aggressive
Communication
Passive
Aggressive Communication


References
Passive Communication
Introduction

The Oxford dictionary defines the word passive as;

“Accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance.”

In terms of communicating, a passive communicator will often not share their needs, wants, desires or opinions.

How it Looks

Whilst communicating, the passive communicator may avert their gaze and cross their arms for protection whilst holding a submissive posture or stance.

They may also cover their mouths with their hands and offer nervous smiles or laughs when feeling anger or sensing criticism (Dulwich College Suzhou 2011).

How it Sounds

Verbally the Passive Communicator may display one or more of the following traits;

They may use long rambling sentences, in an often dull or monotonous tone, use frequent apologies and justifications for expressing an opinion and often self dismiss their ideas and opinions, or put themselves down
(Dulwich College Suzhou 2011).

How its Interpreted

Like most communication styles the passive communicator can experience both negative and positive payoffs for their behavior.

They are often not blamed if things go wrong, due to rarely showing initiative. Others also tend to protect a passive communicator.

Negatively, they may experience feelings of loss of self esteem and can feel “trapped” in negative relationships.

They are also often given unreasonable demands and feel they “cant say no”
(Dulwich College Suzhou 2011).


Introduction

Aggressive communication is a method of expressing your own desires and needs, and is about getting your own way.

Someone who communicates in this fashion believes that they have the entitlement to have things done their way – over everyone else, who they see as being less important (Vivyan 2000).

Time wasting can result due to people reacting to the aggressive behaviour (Newton 2013).
How it looks

A person communicating aggressively may use big and fast gestures, including pointing fingers and clenching fists.

Facial gestures that might be observed are a scowl or frown and no other expression.

To portray an overpowering sense, a confident posture that can invade the space of others may be employed
(Newton 2013).

How it sounds

An aggressive communicator will use critical and accusatory statements that will be used to disempower others.

Other modes of leveling the playing field include the use of sarcasm as verbal abuse.

The sense of entitlement owned by an aggressive communicator leads to the delivery of opinions that are proclaimed as fact (Outstand 2013).

How it’s interpreted

People who interact with
aggressive communicators may see them as intimidating, demanding, self-centered, and unwilling to compromise.

Dealing with this bully-like behaviour may make others feel hurt and humiliated.

Adversely, an aggressive communicator can provoke counter-aggression and contempt towards themselves (Newton 2013).

Introduction

The assertive style of communication is often regarded as the healthiest and most effective style (Newton 2013).

It is seen as a confident method of communicating a point of view in a concise manner that is respectful of the audience.
References - Passive Communication

Oxford University Press 2016, Oxford Dictionaries, Oxford University Press, viewed 4 January 2016 <http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/passive>

Patrick 2012, Passive, assertive, aggressive how to tell the difference, Lotus Group, viewed 4 January 2016, <http://www.lotusgroup.biz/blog/passive-assertive-aggressive-how-to-tell-the-difference/>

Dulwich College Suzhou 2011, The characteristics of passive, aggressive and assertive communication Report 2011, Dulwich College Suzhou, viewed 4 January 2016, <https://www.dulwich-suzhou.cn/uploaded/DCSZ_meet_the_counselor/The_Characteristics_of_Passive,_Aggressive_and_Assertive_Communication.pdf>

Video:
Dionvandi 2014,
Passive Communication
, 2 October, viewed 17 January 2015, <https://youtu.be/OFpengoc02w>
How it's interpreted

Generally the intended audience will gain a very clear understanding of the speakers message and intent.

Moreover, the audience will often feel that the speaker is honest, open and respectful of the audiences' own opinions (Newton 2013).
How it looks

Assertive people typically display positive body language, regardless of the audience and the situation.

Assertive speakers will display an upright but relaxed posture, strong eye contact and will use open and expansive movements to express themselves.

They typically move with purpose and effectively control their personal space (Hartley 2015).
How it sounds

Assertive people will speak honestly and openly about their own thoughts and feelings (Starak 2010).

The use of "I think.." or "I feel..." statements showing personal responsibility are common and often followed by direct requests for support, participation or feedback (Newton 2013).

Assertive speakers will typically use a clear, firm and steady tone (Dulwich College Suzhou 2011).
References - Manipulative Communication

Video:
Ynotawoody 2009,
Characteristics Of Manipulative People
, 6 October, viewed 5 January 2016, <https://youtu.be/9UzqmvEngPo>

Ni, P 2014,
How to Recognize and Handle Manipulative Relationships
, Preston Ni, viewed 17 January 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201407/how-recognize-and-handle-manipulative-relationships

Newton, C 2016,
The Five Styles of Communication
, Claire Newton, viewed 18 January 2016, http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html

This presentation should have provided you with some basic methods for identifying five different communication styles by the way they look, sound and convey a message to an audience.

Recognising, interpreting, utilising and knowing the appropriate responses to any of these styles is a core skill for an effective communicator.

By learning which of these styles is your default way of communicating and how to use other styles this can enable you to overcome challenging situations and develop strong social and professional relationships (Newton, 2013).

We hope you enjoyed this presentation.
References - Aggressive Communication

Newton, C 2013,
The five communication styles,
Claire Newton, viewed 6 January 2016, <http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html>.

Outstand, 2013,
Is your language aggressive, passive or assertive?
, Outstand, viewed 6 January 2016, <http://www.outstand.org/index.php/2013/07/aggressive-passive-assertive/>.

Vivyan, C 2000,
Communication styles,
Carol Vivyan, viewed 6 January 2016, <http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/communication.htm>.

Video:
Kirk, K 2013,
Aggressive Communication,
Kelly Kirk, viewed 6 January 2016, <https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxmbryjVYrE>.
References - Assertive Communication

Newton, C 2013,
The five communication styles,
Claire Newton, viewed 9 January 2016, <http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html>.

Dulwich College Suzhou 2011,
The characteristics of passive, aggressive and assertive communication Report 2011
, Dulwich College Suzhou, viewed 9 January 2016, <hhttps://www.dulwich-suzhou.cn/uploaded/DCSZ_meet_the_counselor/The_Characteristics_of_Passive,_Aggressive_and_Assertive_Communication.pdf>.

Starak, Z 2010,
How to communicate assertively in your relationship
, Zahava Starak, viewed 9 January 2016, <http://www.aipc.net.au/articles/how-to-communicate-assertively-in-your-relationship/>.

Hartley, M 2015,
How to develop assertive body language
, Mary Hartley, viewed 9 January 2016,<http://maryhartley.com/how-to-develop-assertive-body-language/>.

Video:
blingfigleafs 2011,
Golden Girls - Assertive Communication
, 15 March, viewed 9 January 2016, <https://youtu.be/JtWhleOKbo8>.
References - Conclusion

Newton, C 2013,
The five communication styles,
Claire Newton, viewed 9 January 2016, <http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html>.
References - Passive Aggressive Communication

Newton, C 2013,
The five communication styles
, Claire Newton, viewed 9 January 2016, <http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html>.

Harrn, A 2011,
What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?
, Andrea Harrn, viewed 7 January 2016, <http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/what-is-passive-aggressive-behaviour>.

Video:
Blimey Cow 2015,
The Ten Most Passive Aggressive Phrases
, 25 Oct, Viewed 9 January 2016, <https://youtu.be/1Cr1ztMqdro>.
Introduction

Claire Newton (2013) says “This is a Communication Style in which people appear passive on the surface, but are actually acting out their anger in indirect or behind-the-scenes ways”.

This is a mechanism for people who aren’t very comfortable being confrontational but still want something to go their way, hence the term “Passive Aggressive”.

How it looks

This person will always appear to be sarcastic, two faced or even use innocent and sweet facial expressions in order to be indirectly aggressive.

This person may also be unreliable, purposefully doing a bad job in order to avoid future requests (Claire Newton, 2013).

How it's interpreted

Repetitive Passive Aggression can be considered emotional abuse. This can make the recipient feel angry, confused or even guilty.

After everything is done both parties can be left in pain and or emotional distress (Andrea Harrn, 2011).

How it sounds

It can be a way of saying something mean while still having plausible deniability in case someone calls you out.

E.g. Passive person: “I feel like you were mad at me earlier”. Passive aggressive person: “No I told you I was fine”. In order to save face and is usually to avoid conflict (Blimey Cow, 2015).
Full transcript