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A Year In The Life
Transcript of A Year In The Life
felt so broken in my life, not
even when I had been bullied
when I was younger, and that
was a hard time. I felt like he ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it, and the sad part is, I don't think he cares, because he's not the same person he was when he asked me out. Now he's mean, all he cares about is impressing guys who don't care about him. I have to remind myself that, I don't miss him I miss who he was. So now I'm moving on, well... trying Music Now What? Theme Song We met this year, in your class actually. I had never had a boyfriend before, not even a first kiss. We weren't in school for a month before he asked me out, and things got serious fast. He told me he loved me and he cried, that's one of my favorite memories of our relationship, and exactly one month later he broke up with me, he didn't want to work things out he just said "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" and I want to cry thinking back on this so vividly. I remember the day he broke up with me, I was wearing no makeup and no bra, I cried after he left for hours and I couldn't sleep that night, I overheard him in class saying he had gone to the movies that day. I loved him so much, all I wanted was him but he wanted his friends more. He moved on from me before he broke up with me and now its been 6 months and he is still all I think about. I daydream about him coming back but I know that's all it is, a daydream. There's a new girl, they don't date because she's a foreign exchange student and she's leaving late June, but if she wasn't it's too obvious what would happen. He used to look at me the way he looks at her. I'm not sure I could ever explain the passion I feel for music. I think many people say they love music but there is something for me in so many genres and I'm not sure how many people can say that. I love many genres pop, country, rap, dub step, and lately I've been pretty into alternative, there are many people who are restricted to one or two genres because they "can't stand country" or "hate the mainstream pop", but I fall in love with a song no matter what genre it's in. If my iTunes is on shuffle, I could easily be rocking out to a Demi Lovato song, singing and super into it, to a Nirvana song and be in the same mood, as if they're the same genre. Music is always there when none of my friends are, it is my savior, maybe the only thing that keeps me here. I can honestly say I don't know how I would live with out music, it is everything that's good in my life. Music by Bessie Rayner Parkes
Sweet melody amidst the moving spheres
Breaks forth, a solemn and entrancing sound,
A harmony whereof the earth's green hills
Give but the faintest echo; yet is there
A music everywhere, and concert sweet!
All birds which sing amidst the forest deep
Till the flowers listen with unfolded bells;
All winds that murmur over summer grass,
Or curl the waves upon the pebbly shore;
Chiefly all earnest human voices rais'd
In charity and for the cause of truth,
Mingle together in one sacred chord,
And float, a grateful incense, up to God. After Great Pain, A Formal Feeling Comes by Emily Dickinson
After great pain, a formal feeling comes —
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs —
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?
The Feet, mechanical, go round —
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought —
A Wooden way
A Quartz contentment, like a stone —
This is the Hour of Lead —
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons recollect the Snow —
First — Chill — then Stupor — then the letting go Trying To Move On This life hasn't been so easy for me, most days I can barely gather the strength to not break down at school. I'm just so broken and I don't know to fix myself, there are no instructions for things like this. I feel the lyrics in this song so deeply, which is a scary thought. All I know is I wish I was skinnier, I wish I was prettier, I wish I had an outgoing, sparkly personality, I wish the guy I loved, loved me back, I wish my parents didn't fight, I wish I knew things were going to be okay one day, just a bunch of empty wishes that will never come true. But I've learned you can't focus on the past or the bad things, because life will move on with out you. So that's where I am, trying to be okay.