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Dating Advice from the amazing me: Takao Kazunari!

lmfao. Doing this for the wonderful mod of incorrectknb.tumblr.com! It's going to be beautiful (or disastrous; or both). Done? May be due for editing.

Savannah Thompson

on 17 May 2015

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Transcript of Dating Advice from the amazing me: Takao Kazunari!

Dating Advice from the amazing me: Takao Kazunari!
I must sincerely thank Shin-chan for showing me exactly what not to do!

Thanks for being a great example, Shin-chan!

What not to bring on a date:
Tanuki statues are not advisable.
Especially ones holding basketballs.
Unless the girl actually likes tanukis (but even then you'll look silly).
Gravure idol products.
That stuff should be put neatly in a box in your closet or under your bed.
Another person.
Just because oha-asa says your lucky item is a person of a certain star sign doesn't mean you get to have a threesome.
Flowers or candy that you don't intend to give to your date.
Because how rude is that?
What Not to Wear (Seriously, don't):
If you have green hair it is advisable that you avoid orange clothing unless you want to look like a carrot for the day.
A themed hat.
No, it does not matter if it is your lucky item.
Keep that shit hidden.
Something excruciatingly gaudy.
See the two reasons above.
Don't tape your fingers, even if it is to keep them safe.
Do you want them to think you're a wannabe mummy in transition?
Hiding some kind of gross wound or deformity?
Let those soft, supple fingers show.
Only one color (even if it is your lucky color).
Unless you really want to look like one of those Wiggles guys from that American kids show.
Don't blindly trust the 'scopes.
Horoscopes can be kind of fun - sometimes the advice is pretty damn accurate.
Also, don't be awkward.
Being all tsundere when they compliment you doesn't always work.
Take the compliment about your pretty, pretty eyes with grace.
If you're into people who are older, you may not want to mention that.
Rambling about oha-asa = not cool.
Same for blatantly displaying lucky items.
Why would anyone want to stare at a Barbie doll while eating?
You probably shouldn't disect their jokes.
Or not laugh.
Because them awkwardly laughing at themself - not pleasant.
Also, don't put your food on your head; it's rude.
And it's not a fashion statement no matter how well it goes with your hair.
Some of you have glasses for a reason.
Relying on compatibility might leave you paired with a wack-a-doo that likes ducks a little too much - or, you know, someone that you just don't like.
She was a real quack, wasn't she?
Say you really get along with this person - they're super cool and happen to like the same stuff you do.

But, oh god, you're a Leo and they're a Taurus, and "oh god the world is going to end."
Forget that.

Pinch yourself.

Bring a spray bottle and squirt yourself like a misbehaving cat.

Smack yourself in the face with a basketball.

Like, if you don't want to die alone and cynical, listen.
Good luck, you hopefully not-awkward or some-what-totally awkward people!
Also, I highly advise not wearing a ballerina outfit because it just doesn't work for everyone, now does it, Shin-chan?
Full transcript