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Transcript of Bullying
Bullying: How Parents and Teachers Can Help
The message that is often sent to children is one of defeat and suicide. Videos similar to this have flooded youtube and other media outlets. Is this the message that we really want to send to our children?
Due to these negative messages being sent, kids are more likely than ever to consider suicide.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people
Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims.
For more information about teen suicide visit http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html
Read the full article at http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/July-2012/The-Cluster-Conundrum-Copycat-Teen-Deaths-in-Lake-Forest/index.php?cparticle=1&siarticle=0#artanc
The Cluster Conundrum:
Copycat Teen Deaths in Lake Forest
Research into the mysterious phenomenon of copycat suicides could help explain the recent deaths of three Lake Forest teens who stepped in front of speeding trains.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among Americans aged 10 to 24, and these so-called cluster suicides account for an estimated 5 percent of the deaths.
This boy's life was saved because of a few good friends and the support of his parents.
"Bullying that ends in suicide has become an all too familiar theme on the news and although there are certainly lesson to be learned in those terrible endings the more important lessons may lie in stories like this one, where the ending is far from tragic"
For 38 years, Barbara has been an international best selling author, speaker and consultant on parenting, teaching, school discipline, positive school climate, bullying, grieving, nonviolent conflict resolution and restorative justice. She has appeared on Oprah, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN and NPR and has been featured in the New York Times, Time, U.S. News & World Report, Newsweek and many other publications. Barbara Coloroso is most well known for her “Kids are Worth it!” series.
How can we make these happy endings true for our children?
Start video clip half way through
How instead can we focus our time on teaching kids how to be more successful?
Making a good first impression
we need to teach our children the confidence that we want to see in them
Caring Schools, Involved Communities
Schools need to be characterized by:
Warmth, positive interest, and involvement from adults.
Firm limits as to unacceptable behavior.
In case of violations of limits and rules, consistent application of non-hostile, non-physical sanctions (discipline as opposed to punishment).
Behavior by adults at home and at school that creates an authoritative (no authoritarian) adult-child interaction or child-rearing model (backbone as opposed to bring-wall structure).
1. To declare the school’s intention to address bullying
2. To explain why the school is doing so
3. To provide an outline in general terms about how the school is tackling the problem
4. To inform all members of the school community: teachers, students and parents about what the school is committed to doing
Four purposes of the anti-bullying policy
Gathering information about bullying at school directly from students.
First increase awareness among students, educators and parents.
Survey anonymously students, educators and parents about the nature and quality of peer relations at the school.
Asks kids what they need from adults in order to feel safe.
Establishing clear school wide and classroom rules about bullying.
Kids need to know what the rules are, that they will be enforced and how they will be enforced.
Those that partake in bullying must go through a process of restitution, resolution, and reconciliation.
Must include a plan if the intervention does not work and the bully does not change his or her behavior.
Training all adults in the school to respond sensitively and consistently to bullying.
Improving parental awareness of and involvement in working on the problem
The "Steps to Respect" Program Recommends 5 key components:
"Steps to Respect is a prevention program designed not only to decrease bullying, but also to help students build more supportive relationships with one another"
"Kids can't stop the bullying they experience or witness all by themselves. They need adults at home, in the school, and in community programs committed to breaking this cycle of violence wherever they see it and whenever they hear about it"
"An anti bullying policy that has zero tolerance for bullying is a good thing. No one wants his child bullied at school. What is needed are procedures to support that policy that provide opportunities for administrators to exercise fairness, common sense, and sound discretion."
Dr. Dan Olweus, one of the leading international authorities on bullying, has developed a highly successful intervention program in Bergen, Norway, that has proven to significantly reduce bullying in the schools that have adopted it. "Steps to Respect" is based on Dr. Olweus's model and is used in elementary schools in the United States and Canada.
For more information and resources please visit the following sites:
The website of the Illinois Task Force formed to develop state wide requirements for Bully Prevention.
A training session by Sgt. Vic Balderas, an officer with the San Antonio Independent School District, told parents how to spot and stop a bully.
This video is quite long. Sgt. Balderas gives his input to parents about bullying from the perspective of the police. Please do not feel obligated to watch this, it is posted only if you are seeking more information.
“It’s about character building… its more than just bullying, bullying is just one small aspect that’s a problem not in our city but nation wide”
"[Kids] need guidance, they really need guidance. They need parents. If you … are your kid’s best friend, you have demoted yourself. Kids need leadership and guidance. They need a parent: their best friends are at school and best friends come and go… don’t short change yourself”
“Most of our assaults are in elementary, because our kids have not been taught to keep their hands to themselves. They don’t understand.... Video games and tv, they think that’s reality and it’s not.”
“Bully takes somewhere between ten to fifteen seconds to happen. Ten to fifteen seconds that can be life changing”
“I believed that bullying is a learned behavior”
“We spend 3-5 minutes of quality time talking to our kids a day… so if we’re only influencing our kids for 3-5 minutes who’s influencing our kids for the rest of the day?”
http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/July-2012/The-Cluster-Conundrum-Copycat-Teen-Deaths-in-Lake-Forest/ (Chicago magazine article about copycat suicide)
"The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle (Updated Edition)" Book published in 2009
http://www.isbe.net/SBPTF/pdf/sbptf_report_030111.pdf (Illinois State Task Force Report of the state wide bullying prevention program)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuhWwJLW7k&feature=related (A united way training session that a police officer provided for a group of parents in Texas. He goes through the laws but more importantly he talks about the important role of a parent.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ecr-18fPtDQ (A memorial made to 7 students who took their own life due to bullying.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89iFQwaSZSU (The story about a 13 year old boy whose life was turned around because his parents were willing to seek help)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k5DLsGZU1k (Barbara Coloroso speaks about bullying after yet another teen took their own life due to bullying)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cekjJkFxf5A (Barbara Coloroso shares about how children needs to be listened to)
Dave Kovar talks to kids about making good choices
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQDp3KoLQGk (Making a good first impression)
http://www.stopbullying.gov/ (website endorsed by president Obama)http://www.cfchildren.org/ (Bully-Prevention system called “Steps to Respect”)http://www.isbe.net/SBPTF/default.htm (Illinois State Task Force to create a state-wide bully prevention plan. This website was created to give further information and support to schools)
Quotes are from Sgt. Balderas