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Confidence, Self Esteem and Assertiveness

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Lise Griffiths

on 19 June 2017

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Transcript of Confidence, Self Esteem and Assertiveness

Confidence, Self-Esteem
and Assertiveness

Confidence is being sure of something
You can be sure that you're right about something, you can be sure that you're going to enjoy something
You can also be 'sure of yourself' in general. This last point is the general idea of personal 'confidence'
Being with familiar people and in familiar and safe situations generally makes us feel more confident
Some people feel more confident than others in daunting situations, e.g. with new people, or when speaking out in a group
For example 'extroverted' people are expressive and might find it easier to speak to new people than 'introverted' people
People who are very aware and positive about how others see them are often more confident to speak out, try new things and express themselves
This is because they don't have unrealistic fears about what might happen to them if they do
Someone 'shy' and timid might fear that they will cause offence, or make everyone dislike them because of one comment
When we have something to say which we firmly believe or understand, we aren't as afraid to say it
When you're feeling confident you might be happy to speak out and say what you think, or happy to ask questions and express yourself a little more
This might be because you are 'sure' of the outcome and you're not worried about what might happen
It might also be because you feel in control and authoritative, or assertive, which we will cover later
Self-esteem is the value we attach to ourselves
Someone with low self-esteem is unhappy with themselves and does not believe they are good enough or worth enough
This can be for many reasons such as body image, academic ability/attainment, family relationships etc
It is linked to self-respect because someone who values themselves will usually respect themselves
Having good self-esteem, or thinking highly of yourself does not always make you appear confident
Some people are confident to speak out and express themselves, however inside they may not value themselves very highly, and therefore have low self-esteem
Some people are quiet and dislike being the centre of attention, but they can still value themselves highly or have respect for themselves - therefore having high self-esteem
Self-esteem is important for achieving well. Believing in yourself will make you try harder and you won't give up as easily
High self-esteem and confidence are not the same as being arrogant, 'cocky' or big-headed
Arrogance is making others feel small or 'showing off' to make an impression to others
Having high self-esteem makes you quietly proud and strong, not arrogant
With high self-esteem you don't need to show-off because all your self-worth comes from knowing you're good at something, or valued - not so much from other people knowing it
Assertiveness is being direct and honest whilst still being polite, fair and considerate
Without assertiveness: rumours, hints, 'cattyness' and misunderstandings
Confidence can help you be assertive
Name-calling, blame and revenge are all sneaky, aggressive and not assertive
If there's an issue, talk to that person to sort it out. If you're only making a joke, consider the other person's feelings and make sure you would say it to their face
Dealing with conflicts or problems
Timid (Passive)
Sneaky (Passive-aggressive)

angry/defensive, feeling threatened. This is often seen as rude.

Timid (Passive):
feeling less important or wanting to take a back-seat. This is often seen as being a 'pushover'

Sneaky (Passive-aggressive):
feeling angry or threatened but they don't want to make it obvious to that person. This is often seen as being 'catty'
Class experiment:

Everyone anonymously rate your self esteem and your confidence from 1 - 5 (1 being the lowest) and lets see what the relationship between the two scores is for the whole class!
Confidence, Assertiveness and Self-Esteem are qualities which will help you go very far in life, make sure you use them to their full potential!

Blame or Responsibility?
“It’s not fair, I hate Science”
"I don't like English because I find it hard"
"I lashed out because I felt so hurt, but I should have ignored him"
“He made me hit him because I was so angry about his comments about my family”
"You're so stupid"
“It’s the teacher’s fault I can’t do this – it’s too hard! They should set me some different work!”
“People should stop annoying me”
"I feel irritated when people tap their pens in lesson"

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