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Transcript of Shift Education
Do your kids come to you
with the hard questions?
Can you tell when they've had a hard day or a good day?
Does your child have the tools to
navigate their culture? Can they stand up for themselves, ask for help, and be a leader?
How will you be their guide, keep them safe, and stay connected?
Shift Education presents,
Healthy Sexuality: A toolkit to teach and model healthy behaviour
Jessica Wollen is the CEO of Shift Education, I am a Teacher, and parent to two boy with the third on the way.
Supported children and youth with varied abilities since 1995
Teacher and Certified Sexual Health Educator
Bachelors Degrees in Cultural Anthropology and Education
Founded and Directed Camp Experience Your Dreams - a camp for low income families, providing fun outdoor experiences for kids
Passionate about creating safe spaces for people, with a nack for talking about and working through challenging issues related to sexuality, expolitation, and relationship development.
Shift Educators teach parents and professionals to foster healthy relationships in day-to-day life. We empower people to transform daily interactions with their clients to
1) feel comfortable discussing on-going age appropriate health and safety issues.
2) become Askable.
Build partnerships with wellness committees in HR departments at YVR, BC Hydro, Telus, and the Royal Bank.
Attend parent drop in groups in my neighbourhood to authenically grow my networks and community.
Focus on nurturing long term connections with families and communities by continually seeking feedback and suggestions for new workshops.
Lay the foundation for future conversations
Recognize teaching is verbal and nonverbal
Recognize that teaching is conscious and unconscious
Teach correct vocabulary
Technology and gadgets will continue to change and young people will always want the latest gadget, the one their friends have.
If you had one message to leave with the children in your life about sexuality, what would it be?
Modern parents need:
Lack of time
Lack of boundaries
Peer pressure - my friends all have one
Status quo - teenagers are moody, my daughter know what she's doing online, they'll be fine - everything's fine
What do your children need to know and when?
Who is Askable?
Thank you for being here tonight. For being great parents and educators to your children. They are lucky to be your children!
Your feedback makes me a better educator and is greatly appreciated. Please fill out and hand in page 5.
If you know families that need extra supports, I provide individual and group sessions on all the materials we covered.
Book a follow up session with Jessica Wollen
Website: shift-education.com (email is on front page of handout)
How to be Askable
Be approachable, open, an active listener; show eye contact and commitment to the conversation
Provide learning opportunities so your kids may observe healthy behaviour
Tell kids what is and is not appropriate behaviour, without making them feel guilty
Teach about private body parts, private places, and private behaviour
Teach kids and youth that their body belongs to them
Encourage kids and youth to speak up for themselves
Help kids understand how their behaviour affects others
Teach about puberty and gender differences before the changes occur
share your values and beliefs
Question and Answer Formula
1. NORMALIZE AND VALIDATE: “Thanks for that great question.” “I thought that when I was your age, too.” “Lots of kids your age wonder about the same thing.”
2. CLARIFY: Be sure you understand what is being asked; get the context. Rephrase, or ask what they think the answer is. Gives you a sense of their knowledge and vocabulary.
3. ANSWER THE QUESTION HONESTLY: Include facts and values, maintain a matter-of-fact tone and expression and, keep it simple!
4. CHECK IN: “Did I answer your question?” “Thanks for asking!” Repeat.
5. Brainstorm at your table, common questions, or a challenging situation that has come up in the past. Write it on the post its.
What is sexuality?
With the person next to you, discuss: "how has sexuality in the media, TV, Online, and Print media transformed since the days of
Leave it to Beaver and the Brady Bunch?"
Sexuality is more then SEX. It includes everything in life that defines all of who we are as healthy diverse people with natural desires. It includes discussions about families, parenthood, and good decision making, it encompasses sexual knowledge, attitudes, values, and behaviours, and it is shaped by culture, history, education, and experiences.
Sexuality can be defined as:
The total of who you are, what you believe, and how you feel and respond.
Your sexual self and self esteem are shaped by, religion, morals, family, friends, age, body concept, life goals, and experience.
Sexuality can be expressed in the way you speak, smile, stand, sit dress, dance, laugh and cry.
Think back to your younger days:
How did you learn about sexuality?
Hands up, who got no information?
Who got the book?
Anyone willing to share a story?
How do children and youth learn about sexuality?
Young people consider school (51%) and parents (43%) as the most valuable sources of information
Parents are # 1!
Why Teach Social Rules for Public and Private Spaces:
To clarify social rules in public and private spaces.
This conversation is essential for cultivating safety in your sons and daughters lives.
This topic will be an underlying focus in the upcoming teachings in North Vancouver. We will be looking at how to teach and practice this material in a demo at the end of the workshop.
Intermediates – the gross me outers
8 – 14 years old:
Source: Raising Sexually Healthy Children, Lynn Leight
• Everyone has a right to know about and understand the workings of their own bodies.
• Sexuality can be confusing and adolescence can be more confusing.
• Many children don’t have an opportunity to learn about sexuality in healthy ways.
Why is Sexuality Education Important?
How and where to express sexual feelings
Love & Commitment
Source: Canadian Association for Adolescent Health, 2006.
• Primary sexuality educators whether they intend to be or not.
• Teaching sexuality to their children from birth on.
• Important role models.
• Constantly being watch by their children.
• Teaching by what is and isn’t discussed.
• Responding all the time.
• That’s gross! Most curious and many have verbal skills to ask questions
• naturally become very modest
• shyness holds them back
• interested in abstract discussions,
• most needy, worried about their bodies and body changes.
Source: Meg Hickling, Sex Spelled Out for Parents
Your adolescent needs to know everything the previous age groups have learned, plus:
The proper use of contraceptive devices, and their potential failure
Detailed information about STIs
Clear conversations and examples of consent
the people who don't know they don't know - grades 7 - 12:
Face two big obstacles: they think they are supposed to know about sex, and no one really talks openly about sexual health.
They should also be working to develop:
An understanding of intimate relationships, relationship skills, and refusal skills
Confidence and self advocacy when going to a doctor
Private vs public spaces and appropriate behaviours and examples for each
Respects the child and the sensitive and confidential nature of the topic
Has a sense of humor
Is clear about facts and opinions
Is willing to look for accurate information
Seed for thought
Jessica Wollen, Shift-Education.com
Follow me on Facebook and Pinterest
What is needed to create a safe space to discuss your values?
Finish this sentence: when I'm in a group I like it when...
people work to suspend their judgment
there is an openness to share
Educators are important
Are open and direct about the topic.
Feel confident and at ease.
Are aware of their values and work to reduce their bias.
Learn and understand current information so it can be presented accurately.
Maintain open relationships and communicate freely with parents.
Ask for help from a qualified individual (certified sexual health educator, therapist).
Repeat, reinforce, and generalize instruction.
Use multi-sensory tools (videos, pictures, models, charts).
Source: JDB Associates
What do you believe?
What are your family values?
When does your blood pressure go up?
What topics are hard to talk about?
Take a Stand
To physically demonstrate differences in attitudes and opinions on issues and to improve group communication.
Purpose is to alert you to your own feelings about sexuality and to be able to openly compare them with others.
Sex before marriage?
Is pornography okay?
Is masturbation okay?
Are people with developmental disabilities sexual?
Be concrete rather then abstract
Be brief, specific, and clear
Utilize imitation and role play
Teach in real life settings
Repeated and review frequently
Review safety rules in the space
Brainstorm with the people next to you:
Take 2 post it notes.
Identify the challenge presented.
With your group, develop a plan to support your student/s.
Answer their question, develop a plan to redirect behaviour, and or address the issue with a possible solution.
How would you debrief this with their parent/s?
Preschoolers – THE INVENTORS - 3 – 5 YEARS
The “where” questions, intellectual curiosity, no baggage, babies always existed, make up and invent stories. Source: Meg Hickling, Sex Spelled Out for Parents
PRESCHOOLERS—CHECKLIST – WHAT THEY NEED TO KNOW
Scientific vocabulary for their genitals, basics of conception (sperm and ovum), safe and unsafe touching, can talk to parents, condoms – not to be touched or picked up. Source: Meg Hickling, Sex Spelled Out for Parents Source.
body changes are normal
basic information about pregnancy prevention
sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
information on family values/beliefs
peer pressure and how to deal with it and why
options/choices in relationships i.e. you don’t have to be sexually active
pornography and exploitation of participants and online critical thinking
Source: Meg Hickling, Sex Spelled Out for Parents
• Be concrete rather than abstract
• Be brief, specific, and clear
• Be visual
• Utilize imitation and role play
• Teach in real life settings when possible
• Repeat and review often
Discuss why sexuality education is important.
Examine our attitudes and values around sexuality.
Build our professional toolkit by: sharing knowledge and experience, brainstorming new approaches to re-occurring challenges, and build new skills for the classroom.
• Sex and sexuality are a part of healthy relationships.
• Facts don’t make people “promiscuous” “exploitative” or “deviant”. They equip people with skills to make healthy choices and stay safe.
• Sexuality is part of life. Sexuality is prominent in media culture and our children need your to help them make sense of it all.