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Brighten Up Boring Sentence Beginnings

Writing Workshop Mini-lesson. Example 1: Teacher Models. Example 2: Student pair/share. Example 3: Independent practice.
by

Irene Middleton

on 16 February 2013

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Transcript of Brighten Up Boring Sentence Beginnings

How to revise your paragraphs when sentences all begin the same. Brighten Up Boring Sentence Beginnings I opened the door. I saw a cloud of black fleas greet me. I saw my dog trying to scratch himself with two legs. I saw fleas popping off his back. I ran outside to find my mom. Apply! What do you notice about this paragraph?
How can you improve this paragraph using transition words below? Notice that simple sentences were combined and some words were left out. Which paragraph sounds better? After:
I opened the door, and a cloud of black fleas greeted me. While trying to scratch himself with two legs, my dog whined. When I noticed puffs of fleas pop off his back, I ran outside to find my mom. Rob's television remote control had magic powers. When he pressed the fast-forward button, his dog gobbled up the food and water in the red plastic dishes. When he pressed the rewind button, his dog vomited back all the food and water into the dishes. When he pressed the pause button, the dog froz and looked like a statue. You Try! Every evening when Mike crawled into bed, he saw a spider's shadow on his pillow. Every evening Mike searched his room for the spider. Every evening he searched, he never found it. One morning, Mike opened his eyes. A hairy black spider sat on his chest. The hairy spider walked toward Mike's face. You Try! Choose an entry in your writing journal.

1. Put a check next to sentences that all start the same.

2. Try starting sentences with words or phrases in the box below. Often, you can combine sentences or pull out a phrase that's in the middle of the sentence and use it at the beginning. as soon as suddenly immediately when if since
while afterward now later as before
instead unlike yet next both
finally meanwhile after Before:
I opened the door. I saw a cloud of black fleas greet me. I saw my dog trying to scratch himself with two legs. I saw fleas popping off his back. I ran outside to find my mom. as soon as suddenly immediately when if since
while afterward now later as before
instead unlike yet next both
finally meanwhile after Rewrite this paragraph using the words below. Rewrite this paragraph using the words below. as soon as suddenly immediately when if since
while afterward now later as before
instead unlike yet next both
finally meanwhile after as soon as suddenly immediately when if since
while afterward now later as before
instead unlike yet next both
finally meanwhile after read your new paragraph to your shoulder partner lesson pulled from Brighten Up Boring Sentence Beginnings and Other Quick Writing Lessons Tips for Revising Put a check next to sentences that all start the same. Try combining simple sentences so that you have some long and some short sentences. Read your revised paragraph out loud and listen for the difference! Group important events together in the sentence and start the sentence with words that let the reader know the order in which they happened. I've always believed that Rob's television remote control had magic powers. If he pressed the fast-forward button , his dog gobbled up all the food and water in his red plastic dishes. As soon as he pressed the rewind button, his dog vomited back all the food and water into the dishes. Immediately after he pressed the pause button, the dog froze and looked like a statue.
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