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Sex | Proverbs 5:1-23
Transcript of Sex | Proverbs 5:1-23
Parallel passages: 2:16-19; 6:24-29, 32; 7:1-27
My son, give attention to my wisdom,
Incline your ear to my understanding;
2 That you may observe discretion
And your lips may reserve knowledge.
3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;
4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps take hold of Sheol.
6 She does not ponder the path of life;
Her ways are unstable, she does not know it.
Now then, my sons, listen to me
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her
And do not go near the door of her house,
9 Or you will give your vigor to others
And your years to the cruel one;
10 And strangers will be filled with your strength
And your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien;
11 And you groan at your final end,
When your flesh and your body are consumed;
12 And you say, “How I have hated instruction!
And my heart spurned reproof!
13 “I have not listened to the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!
14 “I was almost in utter ruin
In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”
Drink water from your own cistern
And fresh water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be yours alone
And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.
For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord,
And He watches all his paths.
22 His own iniquities will capture the wicked,
And he will be held with the cords of his sin.
23 He will die for lack of instruction,
And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.
Then | Now
Father prohibits casual sex.
Father promotes covenant sex.
Father presents fool's path.
Common Sense Tip
Christian Sense Tip
Christian Parent/Peer Tip
Don't be seduced by casual sex.
Get drunk on covenant sex.
Rescue others from sexual ruin.
Marriage is the context for good sex.
For at the window of my house
I looked out through my lattice,
7 And I saw among the naive,
And discerned among the youths
A young man lacking sense,
8 Passing through the street near her corner;
And he takes the way to her house,
9 In the twilight, in the evening,
In the middle of the night and in the darkness.
10 And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
11 She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home;
12 She is now in the streets, now in the squares,
And lurks by every corner.
13 So she seizes him and kisses him
And with a brazen face she says to him:
14 “I was due to offer peace offerings;
Today I have paid my vows.
15 “Therefore I have come out to meet you,
To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you.
16 “I have spread my couch with coverings,
With colored linens of Egypt.
17 “I have sprinkled my bed
With myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 “Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning;
Let us delight ourselves with caresses.
19 “For my husband is not at home,
He has gone on a long journey;
20 He has taken a bag of money with him,
At the full moon he will come home.”
21 With her many persuasions she entices him;
With her flattering lips she seduces him.
22 Suddenly he follows her
As an ox goes to the slaughter,
Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool,
23 Until an arrow pierces through his liver;
As a bird hastens to the snare,
So he does not know that it will cost him his life.
Everyone knows our society is sex-obsessed, sex-saturated. If lust ceased tomorrow, we would be plunged into the greatest economic depression in history. Remove sex appeal from advertising, advertising from the economy, and the economy from our civilization, and what would be left?
Kreeft, Back to Virtue, 165
High school and college teachers I've talked to, as well as researchers, remark on this: Relationships have been replaced by the casual sexual encounters known as hookups. Love, while desired by some, is being put on hold or seen as impossible; sex is becoming the primary currency of social interaction. Some girls can handle this; others, like Morgan, are exhausted physically, emotionally and spiritually by it. They struggle largely outside the awareness of parents who either don't know what is going on or are vaguely aware but don't know what to do.
the new sexual landscape has been designed in part by girls, to the delight of guys who no longer have to work very hard for girls' attention or their bodies. Young women's goal was, at one time, to save their bodies and their reputations for someone they loved, while young men were encouraged to play the field. Young men are still expected to be players, but now young women have jumped into the arena with them.
Laura Sessions Stepp NPR interview about
Hook Up culture = "new sexual landscape"
Abraham, Hagar & Sarah
Jacob, Rachel & Leah
Judah & Tamar
Joseph & Potiphar's wife
Samson & Delilah
David & Bathsheba
Solomon & 1000 women
Samaritan women, Mary, etc.
Sexually abusive false teachers
Sex scandals in Bible
Positive examples of sex in Bible
Adam & Eve (Gen 2)
Ruth & Boaz
Song of Solomon
Jesus' grace toward adulterous women.
While some emerging adults (rarely) report general sexual and emotional happiness after sex with uncommitted partners, studies show that more than half used words like these to describe how they feel.
regret, dirty, used, guilty, empty, ashamed, alone, miserable, duped, abused.
The father encourages the idea that the best defense (against committing adultery) is a strong offense (reveling in the joys of marital sex).
Longman, Proverbs, 158
Variations of Casual Sexual
from pornography to adultery
God's plan is for us to pursue and know him in and through the sexual intimacy we have with our spouses. Spiritual intimacy and delight are not opposed to sexual intimacy; spiritual intimacy is actually found in the the midst of relational, fleshly delight and reunion.
A taste of the character of God is found in sexual foreplay, heightened arousal, orgasm, and quiescence. God is a God of passion. He adores joy, and he delights in our delight in glory.
Allander and Longman,
7:24 Now therefore, my sons, listen to me,
And pay attention to the words of my mouth.
25 Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways,
Do not stray into her paths.
26 For many are the victims she has cast down,
And numerous are all her slain.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol,
Descending to the chambers of death.
The need to be connected intimately to others is as central to our well-being as food and shelter. In my view, if we don't get it right, we're probably not going to get anything else in life right... I hope to encourage girls to think hard about whether they're "getting it right," whether their sexual and romantic experiences are contributing to—or destroying—their sense of self-worth and strength. Their studied effort to remain uncommitted convinces me only of how strongly they want to be attached.
excerpt on npr.org
There are people who want our sex instinct inflamed in order to make money out of us. Because, of course, a man with an obsession is a man who has very little sales-resistance...
Poster after poster, film after film, novel after novel, associate the idea of sexual indulgence wit the ideas of health normality, youth, frankness, and good humour. Now this association is a lie. Like all powerful lies it is based on a truth...
Surrender to all our desires obviously leads to impotence, disease, jealousies, lies, concealment, and everything that is the reverse of heath, good humour and frankness. For any happiness, even in this world, quite a lot of restraint is going to be necessary...
"...we either commit adultery because we're in a sexless marriage or we're not satisfied with marital sex or because we have a longing for the early stages of a relationship, and because we're affected by a commitment-averse culture..."
The first word in the Song [of Songs] (in Hebrew) is "Kiss me!" - a direct, and passionate appeal for intimacy... The maiden is clear in her supporting reason, "for your love is better than wine." The stock meaning for wine, in this context, is conviviality. It lifts a person from isolation into shared fellowship. For those who are dwelling overmuch on their own selves, nurturing feelings of inadequacy and guilt, wine, temporarily, can free them from such inwardness and liberate them to talk freely...
Wine is praised because it releases inhibitions and stimulates conversation, that is, banishes isolation and bridges the chasms that separate individuals. But "love is better than wine," because love does it better - it enjoins the Thou and I. It dissolves the separating wall and engenders the communication of emotion, thought, and purpose.
Five Smooth Stones
We do know that we want to be the kind of caregiver, professor, wife, daughter, husband, friend, sister, brother who prays our way through the prisons of life on behalf of loved ones. We do know that true healing from sexual violations or from any other form of trauma will come about on the heels of recognizing we need God.
Schultz & Eastabrook,
I hope to encourage adults, men as well as women, to have the kind of conversations with girls that I've had. If you're a woman reading this, put yourself in the shoes of the young woman you're reading about and ask what you would have done in her situation. As a man, think of these girls as your daughters and ask yourself what you hope your daughter would do...
Discussion over a period of time can help girls make wiser choices; I've seen it happen. One college junior, on the heels of a rough period with a guy she was hooking up with, talked to me at lunch one day for a couple of hours. Several days later, I received an upbeat e-mail. "Conversation with adults is a big part of why I've begun to feel better about myself," she wrote. "Really my happiest moment at home during those two weeks was our conversation that Tuesday."
Such conversation takes place only if we approach young people hoping to understand rather than intending to censure.
excerpt on NPR.org
wicked - scoffer - fool - naive
youth - prudent - wise - righteous