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Postgeographic Sexuality Redux
Transcript of Postgeographic Sexuality Redux
Relationships are Established on Sharing
things that Sagan cared about, basically
how long you share
determines the amout of
you have to create
with each other
which then means sharing
Rules of the Road:
radical self reliance
Even when an emergency is dire enough to jump on a plane, travel takes time.
Knowing one's self - am I being manic right now? Safe for me and for others?
Be where you are. You'll be somewhere else later.
Is this still where you want to be? Constant checking-in.
96,714 miles in the past year
8,060 a month
1,860 a week
265 a day
(rounded down, also doesn't include intracity travel or layovers)
My Relationship Styles
Expectations and Desires clearly stated from beginning.
Gcal (always and forever)
Testing twice yearly.
people who prefer monogamy are often unhappy as nomads
high relationship turnover, but one-offs are rare
rarely have primary partners
tend to have a distinct difference for people for whom they are geointentional
instances over cycles
social rituals are strange (expectations?)
How to Take Care of Your Favorite Nomad
Self Aware and Care
When possible, take care of yourself.
When you can't, know what you need and ask.
Clearly negotiate baseline.
Operate within those boundaries.
Renegotiate as necessary.
Making time is often the clearest indicator of intent.
-- that goes for both nomad and housepunk.
But sometimes you're only in town for 12 hours on business.
Ambient awareness of social media.
Make it easy to interact (timezones, calendars, media).
making yourselves legible to each other
Willingness to relearn.
Accomodating emotional barriers.
We're not lugging around 20lbs of sex toys, sorry.
And lube can bust when depressurized.
So if you want it used on you or to use it on us..
you're probably going to need to bring it yourself.
can also be disruptive to a housepunk's more legible relationships
no, I'm not going to "settle down."
The blurriness extends to other aspects of rooted life. Ownership and community life change from being stock concepts (defined by things you accumulate) to flow concepts (defined by things you pass through and that pass through you). Identity starts to anchor to what you are doing rather than who you are. Social life acquires, due to its permanently transient nature, a certain poignancy that it lacks in rooted contexts. Even routine errands like grocery shopping and doing the laundry become minor adventures that require your full attention and engagement.
stable, explicit relationship
occasionally meet in various places
people I see more than 4 times a year
On Being an Illegible Person
(that's 17.77 k/h for people lucky enough to have societies that care about conversion)
terms coined for/from this talk:
Make you space easy to inhabit
originally from a 2011 Arse Elektronika talk
(11mph an HOUR)
(up 3.25 since I last gave this talk)