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Transcript of BEYONCEISM
• Nobody is more powerful than the Almighty Queen Bee
• Thou are not worthy to make eye contact with the Queen or else thou shall turn to dust
• If thou like it, thou should put a ring on it
• Girls run thy world
• Beyoncé is irreplaceable
• Lamenting of Destiny's Child Break-up
• Single Ladies Day
THE MRS. CARTER SERIES:
• Dangerously in love
• Live at Wembley
• The Beyoncé Experience Live
• I am… Sasha Fierce
• I am… Yours: An Intimate Experience
FOUNDER: Destiny’s Child
LEADERS: Back-up dancers
COMMUNITY OF FAITH: Yonces
PLACE OF WORSHIP: Dance Studios
The Almighty Queen Bee
The sisterhood had first discovered their goddess upon her birth,in Houston, when her awe-inspiring voice pierced the sound barrier causing the Earth to momentarily stop on its axis before resuming its previous routine. It was at this moment that the world was filled with goodness and feminine power, that each last remaining shred of animosity between the sexes disappeared, and that the Destinies had come to discover the human incarnation of their God.
Her holiness, Beyonce Knowles, is a surreal being who was able to rise above the prejudices of society, and through her undying confidence and perseverance, became the image of a strong, self-sufficient woman, able to differentiate her own greatness from that of her man. She is a social chameleon; able to change her appearance in whichever way she may please, yet never failing to portray the image of ultimate beauty.
Heaven and Hell
Goodness vs. Evil
Acts of goodness are rewarded through the traditional glitter baths, in which the loyal yonces are able maintain their youth while basking in their goddess' glow. Meanwhile, acts of evil are punished by the shame of the mud baths, where the followers face the terror of early aging while constantly being shunned by the others, until they are once again deemed worthy to return to the sisterhood.
Yonces are expected to attend the Queen's temple each Friday evening, where they will take part in the sparkle ceremony while chanting Beyonce's music before finally kissing the sacred crown.
Coming of age:
Upon reaching the age of 16, young yonces will be introduced to the religion through the concert ceremony. They will attend their first concert, celebrating their first encounter with God, where they will sing along before being called onstage to perform their song of choice, and finally being showered in glittery sparkles marking their official initiation.
Heaven is to pass on to the afterlife so as to experience the joys of life through their goddess' eyes.Living Beyonce's life alongside her as her guardian angels.
Hell is to be sentenced to an eternity surrounded by pure darkness and silence. Those who defy their religion will be barred off from all forms of interaction, faced only with the terror of their own self-conscious thoughts.