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Final Presentation

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Deirdre Boertien

on 15 March 2011

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Transcript of Final Presentation

Just Married...
But for how long? Different people have different areas of concern, but almost everyone values trust and honesty from their partner above all. Why? Because your partner is the one person you want to be able to depend upon in the long-term, without question or doubt.

Little things where your significant other hasn’t been completely honest shouldn’t be blown out of proportion, because virtually everybody tells little white lies (especially when one is dating). Focus instead on the big things, like if they say they’re a lawyer and you discover they’ve never even passed the bar, or they say they like kids but later on insist on never having one. 5 KEY WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. If you find yourself not giving very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back, you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving.

For instance, couples sometimes mistakenly believe that “love” will help them deal with any issue that comes up, and that if the other person truly loved you, they would just do as you ask. But people are independent with their own unique needs and personalities. Just because we found someone we want to spend our lives with doesn’t mean we give up our own identity in the process. Compromise Communicate Relationships live and die not by the sword, but by the amount of discussion. If two people can’t find a way to openly and honestly communicate their needs and feelings to one another, the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance long-term. Couples must find a way to communicate regularly, openly, and directly.

This doesn’t mean waiting for an argument to tell your significant other how much he bothers you with his throwing his clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. It means telling him when you feel the need to, and to do so in a manner that is respectful but assertive. After marriage or when two people move in together, couples tend to discover pretty much the same thing no matter who they are – that they are two different people and living together is harder than anyone ever told them. Love conquers a lot of things, but it is no match for living day-in and day-out with another human being (especially if you’ve spent years on your own).

Prepare yourself for this challenge by choosing what arguments you want to turn into a full blown battle. For instance, do you really want to start a fight over the toothpaste cap or how clean the shower is? Or would you rather reserve your energy for the discussions over finances, kids, and career paths (you know, the things that might really matter to a person). Too many couples fight and bicker over the dumbest things, especially when put into context of issues of true importance. Choose Your Battles Carefully Sometimes when we enter into a long-term relationship, we put ourselves second, behind the other person’s needs and desires. We might give up working to have a child, or agree to move to another city to help support our significant other’s career. And that’s fine, but you need to be realistic first with yourself about whether such things really matter to you or not. If they do, you need to find a way to communicate such needs with your partner, and compromise where possible.

Two people will rarely have exactly the same wants and desires out of life — that’s just a fantasy. Instead, expect that sometimes your two paths will diverge. Express your needs at those crucial moments, but always find a way to do so respectfully and with an open mind. Don't Hide Your Needs Don’t Underestimate the
Importance of Trust and Honesty How Would You Define A Successful Relationship? Work Cited Marriage The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. The Meaning of Marriage The meaning of marriage differs from one person to another, and from one time to another. In ancient times, for example, a marriage meant a condition in which a woman was given to a man almost as property, and often as part of a political, social, or business arrangement of some sort. For much of human history, marriage has been a permanent institution that, once entered into, cannot be dissolved except by the death of one of the spouses. In the modern world, however, marriage is a vastly different thing. On the up side, marriage is today more of a gathering of equals, rather than the subjugation of one to the other. On the down side, marriage often becomes much more temporary than it has been in years past. Legally The meaning of marriage can be looked at from a legal perspective. Legally, marriage is a binding contract between the two parties that joins together their possessions, income, and lives. Marriage is recognized by the state, and the dissolving of the contract can only happen through the legal process of divorce. In your opinion would you ever
get married? Why or Why not? What do you think the definition of marriage is? What would you expect in a successful marriage? What makes a marriage successful? Experiences Married A Year
And A Half When you enter into marriage, you need to do so thinking divorce is not an option for solving problems. Divorce is only an option if there is abuse of some sort in the marriage.

2. When you get married, you need to choose right then and there that this is a lifetime decision. It is important that you love each other, but understand that you won't always "feel" like you love the other person. Sometimes loving someone is a conscious choice rather than an emotional feeling. There will come days when you have to actively choose to love your spouse.

3. No keeping score. When you do something for your spouse, don't expect to be paid back. When your spouse experiences something nice, that's a victory for you as well. When you spouse is hurting, that's your hurt too.

4. Money. Talk about it often. Money issues are the most common problems that couples struggle with. Find a way that works for you. My advice is to apply rule 3 here. When your spouse purchases something nice, you don't keep score. It doesn't mean that you should have something just as nice. You need to celebrate that with your spouse. If you have seen the show called, "Till Debt Do Us Part", you will see the importance of this.

5. The bible says that the two shall become one flesh. You need to somehow think of it like that. The two are one. What happens to one is an issue for both people.

6. Understand each others needs. Typically, a wife needs to know that her husband loves her. She needs those little affectionate things like a surprize "I love you" note or a kiss out of the blue. A husband needs to know that his wife respects him. He will know that she loves him if she commits herself to speak highly of her husband always. We all have needs. It is important for marriage partners to know what the other person needs out of the relationship. So talk about those needs often. Marriage works the best when each person looks after the other's needs. I recommend, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and also "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F. Harley, Jr. | Married For Fifteen Years Marriage is something you constantly have to work on. Like any good friendship or relationship probably the biggest thing is trust.
Knowing someone has your back, being forgiving and being able to compromise are also key.
Taking time aside for the two people is also improtant. (work, friends, hobbies and volunteering sometimes can infringe on this). Married For
Thirty Five Years Staying together takes work (like always being able to give and take). Also, (among other things) you need to always have respect for the needs of your husband or wife and to a certain extent allow them to have their own space, friends and outside activities. That said, the foundation for a good marriage is simply --- LOVE and always caring even more for your spouse than for yourself. Married For
Fourteen Years Seriously though, the best "tip" I can come up with is to marry your best friend, so you always enjoy being with them. And be flexible. You can't always have everything your way all the time, like it or not. Forgiveness...(the other "F" word) is good too. Keys to a Successful Marriage. (n.d.). Garden of Praise. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://gardenofpraise.com/keys.htm

3 Important Rules That Will Make Your Marriage Much More Successful. (n.d.). Weddings. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.thedollgarden.net/component/content/article/3-wedding-articles/6

Long Term Relationship Advice. (n.d.). Master The Power of Success Quotes and Affirmations To Create Prosperity. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.affirmations-for-success.com/long-term-relationship-advice.html

Marriage. (n.d.). Justice Québec. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/publications/generale/maria-a.htm

Marriage Advice - Secrets to a Happy Marriage. (n.d.). RomanceStuck Love and Romance. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm

The Meaning of Marriage. (n.d.). Tripod - Succeed online. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://members.tripod.com/~dr_roth/index3-00perceptions.html

YouTube - A "Lovely Day" for Marriage Proposals! Robbins Brothers . (n.d.). YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. . Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO3lmDjHZL4

YouTube - Requirements of a Common-Law Marriage | Family Law . (n.d.). YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. . Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6-d9N7stqE

YouTube - Sesame Street: Grover discusses What Is Marriage? . (n.d.). YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. . Retrieved April 29, 2010, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQJvSzkVfRg
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