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5 Languages of Appreciation
Transcript of 5 Languages of Appreciation
Love? Appreciation Languages?
"Without a sense of being valued by supervisors and colleagues, workers start to feel like a machine or a commodity" - p.22
What is this appreciation business?
Created by Gary Chapman and Paul White, the book "The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" dictates WHY effective communication, encouragement and appreciation is vital in the workplace, and furthermore HOW we can effectively engage in this practice.
Language 1: Words of Appreciation
Words of affirmation use WORDS to communicate a positive message to another person.
There are three dialects:
Language 2: Quality Time
Spending quality time - focused attention - with an employee, sitting them down and asking how things are going, connecting, is a powerful, yet often misunderstood language of appreciation.
Language 3: Acts of Service
Demonstrating appreciation through acts of service communicates caring - "
don't tell me you care, show me you care
How do YOU envision your perfect work environment?
Where is this coming from?
Dr. Paul White's "The 5 Love Languages"
Steven Covey "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
"Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated" p. 22
Can we just say Thank You?
Not necessarily, recognition and appreciation are two separate things:
- Recognition is largely about behavior
- Appreciation focuses on performance and an employees value as a person
So HOW are we supposed to communicate our appreciation?
Each person has a primary and secondary language of appreciation. We can accept appreciation in ALL languages, but one/two really "hit home" - we will truly feel encouraged with our primary language.
We also tend to "speak our own language" - meaning communicating appreciation to others in OUR primary or secondary language.
It is important to remember that someone may not have the same primary/secondary language as you
Intention of the Book
Chapman and white believe and "demonstrate that people in the workplace need to feel appreciated in order for them to enjoy their job, do their best work, and continue working over the long haul" p. 27
Because everything is economic
No employer can guarantee the security of their employees. However, helping employees and staff feel wanted and appreciated can help ease their fears" p. 33
Continuity - employee turnover, improved attendance and productivity, greater customer satisfaction, positive relationships between staff and peer colleagues and overall positive corporate culture
12% of employees leave due to money, 88% leave for other reasons -
Praise for Accomplishments
Verbally praise the person for an achievement or accomplishment.
Effective verbal praise is
and important. Utilizing specific events, immediate positive affirmations, "i like the way you answer the phone in a cheerful way" verses "good job guys".
Affirmation of Character
"Have you ever expressed appreciation for character traits?|
Affirmation of character looks
performance and focuses on the
of a person - character traits of person are a companies more valuable assets.
Praise for Personality
Praise for personality is focusing on POSITIVE PERSONALITY traits. - optimism, organized, planner, logistical.
"When I walk into your office, I am always inspired. Your desk is always so neat! I wish I were more organized. I really admire that about you"
How and where to use words of affirmation
- one on one - very valuable, effective and immediate positive feedback.
Praise in front of others
- receiving praise in front of people who are important to you "I value you" - smaller groups are great for praise!
- an email or text sent to a coworker expressing praise/affirmation - when someone takes a minute out of their day to send you a "good job" or "GREAT presentation!"
- being public about affirmation is great depending on the person and event - make sure you know the person and their appreciation language
Managers who understand that people have different languages of appreciation will discover that some team members need individual time and attention to feel like they are an important part of the time.
Empathetic dialogues where two individuals are sharing thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.
Focuses on what we are HEARING.
Maintain eye contact, be an active and dedicated listener, affirm feelings and emotions, have commitment and respect to the person
For some employees, sharing experiences with colleagues is an important way for them to feel connected and encouraged.
This is where the idea of group retreats comes in, sharing and experiences creates a bond between employees.
Sylvia Hatchell of UNC said:
"When my girls feel appreciated, they are highly motivated to give me their best on the court"
Small group dialogue
"I want my employees to know I
Small group dialogue allows individuals to express their feelings in a comfortable environment.
Physical Proximity in accomplishing
Research indicates workers find their experiences more satisfying if:
1) they believe what they're doing makes a difference
2) their contributions are being recognized and valued by others
True leadership requires a willingness to serve others
How to serve effectively
Providing assistance to one's colleagues is a powerful expression of appreciation
Make sure your own responsibilities are covered before volunteering to help others
Always ask first, serve voluntarily, asses your attitude, complete what you start, be humble
Language 4: Tangible Gifts
"Giving the right gift to a person who appreciates tangible rewards cad a powerful message of thanks, appreciation, and encouragement"
Ask yourself: who appreciates receiving gifts as their primary language? What kind of gift does that person value?
What kind of gift should I give?
Who are some of your favorite musical artists?
What is your favorite magazine?
What are some of your favorite leisure activities?
Who are your favorite sports teams?
Which are your favorite restaurants?
What events do you enjoy attending?
Being given the privilege of leaving work early or getting time off when a project is completed can be an extremely effective gift
Language 5: Physical Touch
There is a place for physical touch in the workplace. For some, if you grew up in a touchy-feely family,
you will likely carry that to work with you.
Its all about perception and feeling comfortable and secure. It is imperative to know what your primary language of appreciation is in connection with another person, especially when referring to physical touch.
|When used appropriately, touch also has been shown to positively affect educational learning, emotional healing, and to create a sense of acceptance"