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Zombie Rabid Skunk : A Story

A true story about our experiences with a rabid skunk.

Allen Firstenberg

on 23 April 2010

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Transcript of Zombie Rabid Skunk : A Story



Skunk A Story True ^ Back in March, 2010, we were without power in our house for several days. We stayed away for several days, finally returning one Tuesday morning. It was good to be home... heat... power... our own bed. But getting out of the car we thought we smelled... Skunks aren't too unusual in our neighborhood, but we usually don't smell them except at night. So there are a few things I do know about skunks.
And one is... Skunks are nocturnal So when one started following me back to the house as I unloaded the car... ...I knew something was very very wrong. I had a pretty good idea what this was going to be, but I didn't know what to do. So I called the county health department. After a few transfers, the expert I spoke to confirmed my guess. Ok... so it has rabies. Now what? The health department official indicated that they don't get involved with rabid animals unless they bite a human.
He suggested that I contact local law enforcement, who will come out and shoot it (but not remove it), or that I could contact a private company to handle it. This sounded odd, so I called the Mayor. He confirmed that, yes, the Village's police force are routinely called out to handle cases like this. He also mentioned some facts about skunks that I didn't know. And that I'm not sure I really wanted to know, either. For example, that the scent that skunks generate is produced by two glands on either side of their anus.
Aren't you glad you zoomed in this far?
So I called the cops. Three of them showed up, including Darrin. We had worked with Darrin in the past, and knew he was a pretty good guy. Picture a tall, polite, clean-cut chap... with a gun. He found the lair behind the garage, confirmed that the skunk was acting strangely and probably had rabies, observed a second skunk in the lair (already dead), and... ...put the skunk out of its misery. wonders if this week could get any better... we have no food in the house due to lack of power for 4+ days and now are being held hostage IN our house by a probably rabid but definitely aggressive skunk in our backyard. Here's hoping someone in law enforcement will come out with a gun and shoot the poor bastard... and maybe the skunk too.
My wife commented on Facebook: Well the police came out and shot him (and there was another already dead behind our garage so very likely it's rabies). They won't remove the dead animals but luckily some guy named Curtis is going to come this afternoon and remove them (of course for a fee but some things are just worth paying for - removal of dead, rabid skunks is one of them). My wife, on Facebook: On their way out, one officer told Darrin that if he came by later, he would give him a replacement bullet.
Darrin thanked him, commenting that you never knew when you'd need that last bullet in case you were attacked by a About an hour later, I'm back getting stuff out of the car, and I take a peek behind the garage because I didn't get much of a look before. And I see the skunk (which was shot, I thought) has crawled out from the lair. So I called the cops. Again. ...put the skunk out of its misery. So Darrin returned. And confirmed that the skunk was still moving around (despite the bullet in it). So he... Again. Now we're paranoid about leaving the house. As my wife said on Facebook: is thinking she might just place an order and have shop rite home delivery bring groceries to the house... after all, what are the chances of the delivery guy being unlucky enough to be attacked by a rabid skunk with two bullets in him already?
to which a friend replied: But run the camera for Youtube, just in case. (rabid zombie skunk attacks.) Wasn't Curtis supposed to remove the skunks? Curtis? Who was Curtis? Oh yeah. That Curtis. My wife: is disappointed to hear that Curtis is apparently in the Hamptons "doing rats" (and she hopes that means removing them) but is trying to get a backup to come remove the rabid zombie skunks. She cannot believe people are not beating down her door for this job.
With friends replying: post it on Craigslist? ;) If nothing else, you'll have fun writing the job advertisment! "Free to a good home: two skunks, ideal for fur coat making" But we finally got someone to claim the remains. Finally got out of the house. Finally got food and got everything else back to normal. The other night we thought we smelled a skunk again. But it was gone by morning By:
Allen "Prisoner"
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