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Crucial Conversations Example
Transcript of Crucial Conversations Example
Document decisions and follow up. How will we make decisions?
Who will do what when?
How will we follow up? 7- Move to Action What is my Story?
What am I pretending not to know about my role in the problem?
Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?
What should I do right now to move toward what I really want? Retrace my Path to Action.
Separate fact from story.
Watch for Three Clever Stories.
Tell the rest of the story. 4- Master my stories Share your facts.
Tell your story.
Ask for others’ paths.
Compare. Am I really open to others views?
Am I talking about the real issue?
Am I confidently expressing my own views?
Am I actively exploring others’ views?
Am I avoiding unnecessary disagreement? 5- State My Path.
6- Explore Others’ Paths Am I going to silence or violence?
Why is safety at risk?
Have I established Mutual Purpose?
Am I maintaining Mutual Respect?
What will I do to rebuild safety? Look for when the
Look for safety problems.
Look for your own Style Under Stress.
Contrast to fix
CRIB to get to
Mutual Purpose. 2- learn to
3- Make it
Safe. Stakes (steak?) are high What is a crucial conversation?
Day-to-day conversations that affect your life Topic I think this is about facts! I think this is about feelings! I think this is about data! Stakes are high Ending a relationship Asking a boss about a possible promotion Facing crucial conversations poorly Opinions Vary Emotions run strong Tools for Talking When Stakes are High Principle: Start with your heart On what you really want What am I acting like I really want?
What do I really want?
For the relationship?
How would I behave if I really did want this? Focus What do I not want?
How should I go about getting what I really want and avoiding what I don't want? Sucker Coaching Yourself or Others Refuse the Choice Skills Associated with each principle: Did these coaches keep their focus and refuse the Sucker's choice? Am I going to silence or violence?
Are others? Learn to When the conversation becomes crucial
for safety problems
for your own style under stress Market User Repeat user Some Many Few potential Visitor (cc) photo by twicepix on Flickr (cc) photo by tudor on Flickr