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The Notebook

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by

Patricia Chandon

on 8 October 2014

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Transcript of The Notebook

The (Close Relationships)Notebook
Chapter 5: Communication
Nonverbal: Chameleon Effect
Nonverbal: Eye Contact
Nonverbal: Touch
By Patricia Chandon, Emma Bytnar, Kate Parker, Chelsea O'Dell, Jill Marois, and Kyle Hawk
Communication: Gender Differences
Let's think...What were Allie and Noah's communication styles like in the beginning of their relationship?
Allie: Nonverbal--> Less Direct,

Noah: Verbal --> More Direct,
There are two kinds of communication:
Supporting Evidence:
Allie-
Interpersonal Distance adjusted
"What?...No!"
Ending Smile
Noah-
WILL YOU?!!
Invades space
Risky behavior
Let's Hypothesize
Gender norms are a potential reason for the disproportionate use of nonverbal/verbal communication between couples

Social Penetration Theory: Partners become more intimate by increasing two aspects of their verbal communication--Breadth & Depth
Supporting Evidence:
Allie--> Hand's behind her back (reserved), "I don't know", 'sucks teeth'
Noah--> Lies flat in the street (vulnerable), critiques her! , self-disclosure

Chapter 5: Communication
1. Nonverbal
Eye contact
Interest & Affection
Visual Dominance Ratio
Touch
Affection & Caring
Sexual Interest
Dominance & Aggression
Chameleon Effect
'First Time'
Canoe Scene

2. Verbal
Social Penetration Theory
Dysfunctional Communication

Gender Differences
Communication: Gender Differences
Display Rules: Cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in a given situation...
Women (Allie): Is less direct, and at times more tentative
Men (Noah): Is more direct, and more assertive
Conversation Wise
Allie
Want's expressive emotions; what is he thinking/feeling during sex?
Wedding dress; tons of gossiping
Sea-brook Excursion
Indecisiveness "It's not that simple"

Noah
What do you want?!
Facts over feelings with breakup
Talking to Martha
Interest & Affection
First time Noah sees Allie he stares...a lot
Gazes into each others eyes in street
After sex they stare affectionately
Dominance & Power
Luncheon stare-down
Mother to Noah & Allie
VDR
Affection & Caring
Noah touches Allie's face frequently
Allie touches Noah's face after sex
Sexual Interest
Noah touches Allie's chest
Dominance & Aggression
Allie slaps him twice
People adopt similar postures, gestures, displays, and expressions as their partners!
Supporting evidence
Luncheon
Rain/Canoe Scene
First time undressing
Self-Disclosure: The process of revealing information about oneself to another
Increase in Breadth & Depth
Lying in the street Noah talks about him and his dad
Verbal: Social Penetration Theory
Reciprocity: Matching Openness
Responsiveness: Meeting disclosure with understanding, caring, and support.
Verbal: Dysfunctional Communication
Kitchen Sinking
Second fight, Noah vents about everything
Getting Off Beam
Noah thinks her decision is about security
"Why didn't you write me?!"
Mind-reading
Allie assumes Noah is breaking up with her
Interrupting/Yes-Butting
Noah and Allie both do this
Cross-Complaining
Allie and Noah vent about each others faults
Allie and her mom about relationships
oh...
Verbal: Attack Response
Criticism
Noah says she's a pain in the ass 90% of the time
Contempt
Allie calls Noah an arrogant SOAB
Defensiveness
Allie when Noah says she's bored
Allie to mom "So now I'm a tramp?"
Stonewalling
Noah Drives away after first fight
Then Allie drives away in second
Belligerence
Allie hits him
Chapter 6: Interdependence
Our satisfaction is based upon on where our outcomes fall
Outcomes = rewards-costs
Expectations
Alternatives
CLalt
CL
CLalt
outcome
Chapter 6: Interdependence
Rusbult's Investment Model (1983)
Satisfaction Level
Quality of alternatives
Size of investment
Johnson (1999) Types of Commitment
Personal Commitment: We are satisfied and want to continue the relationship
Self-Expansion Model: Combat boredom with play!
Full transcript