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The Notebook

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Patricia Chandon

on 8 October 2014

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Transcript of The Notebook

The (Close Relationships)Notebook
Chapter 5: Communication
Nonverbal: Chameleon Effect
Nonverbal: Eye Contact
Nonverbal: Touch
By Patricia Chandon, Emma Bytnar, Kate Parker, Chelsea O'Dell, Jill Marois, and Kyle Hawk
Communication: Gender Differences
Let's think...What were Allie and Noah's communication styles like in the beginning of their relationship?
Allie: Nonverbal--> Less Direct,

Noah: Verbal --> More Direct,
There are two kinds of communication:
Supporting Evidence:
Interpersonal Distance adjusted
Ending Smile
Invades space
Risky behavior
Let's Hypothesize
Gender norms are a potential reason for the disproportionate use of nonverbal/verbal communication between couples

Social Penetration Theory: Partners become more intimate by increasing two aspects of their verbal communication--Breadth & Depth
Supporting Evidence:
Allie--> Hand's behind her back (reserved), "I don't know", 'sucks teeth'
Noah--> Lies flat in the street (vulnerable), critiques her! , self-disclosure

Chapter 5: Communication
1. Nonverbal
Eye contact
Interest & Affection
Visual Dominance Ratio
Affection & Caring
Sexual Interest
Dominance & Aggression
Chameleon Effect
'First Time'
Canoe Scene

2. Verbal
Social Penetration Theory
Dysfunctional Communication

Gender Differences
Communication: Gender Differences
Display Rules: Cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in a given situation...
Women (Allie): Is less direct, and at times more tentative
Men (Noah): Is more direct, and more assertive
Conversation Wise
Want's expressive emotions; what is he thinking/feeling during sex?
Wedding dress; tons of gossiping
Sea-brook Excursion
Indecisiveness "It's not that simple"

What do you want?!
Facts over feelings with breakup
Talking to Martha
Interest & Affection
First time Noah sees Allie he stares...a lot
Gazes into each others eyes in street
After sex they stare affectionately
Dominance & Power
Luncheon stare-down
Mother to Noah & Allie
Affection & Caring
Noah touches Allie's face frequently
Allie touches Noah's face after sex
Sexual Interest
Noah touches Allie's chest
Dominance & Aggression
Allie slaps him twice
People adopt similar postures, gestures, displays, and expressions as their partners!
Supporting evidence
Rain/Canoe Scene
First time undressing
Self-Disclosure: The process of revealing information about oneself to another
Increase in Breadth & Depth
Lying in the street Noah talks about him and his dad
Verbal: Social Penetration Theory
Reciprocity: Matching Openness
Responsiveness: Meeting disclosure with understanding, caring, and support.
Verbal: Dysfunctional Communication
Kitchen Sinking
Second fight, Noah vents about everything
Getting Off Beam
Noah thinks her decision is about security
"Why didn't you write me?!"
Allie assumes Noah is breaking up with her
Noah and Allie both do this
Allie and Noah vent about each others faults
Allie and her mom about relationships
Verbal: Attack Response
Noah says she's a pain in the ass 90% of the time
Allie calls Noah an arrogant SOAB
Allie when Noah says she's bored
Allie to mom "So now I'm a tramp?"
Noah Drives away after first fight
Then Allie drives away in second
Allie hits him
Chapter 6: Interdependence
Our satisfaction is based upon on where our outcomes fall
Outcomes = rewards-costs
Chapter 6: Interdependence
Rusbult's Investment Model (1983)
Satisfaction Level
Quality of alternatives
Size of investment
Johnson (1999) Types of Commitment
Personal Commitment: We are satisfied and want to continue the relationship
Self-Expansion Model: Combat boredom with play!
Full transcript