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Intrapersonal vs. Interpersonal
Transcript of Intrapersonal vs. Interpersonal
Intrapersonal: Understanding our Influences
how we make sense of our world
Senses (Ex. sight, taste)
Culture (Ex. different systems of belief and doing things)
Social (Ex. family, friends, education)
Self-Serving Bias -
When things go wrong that
do, there's a reason, but if someone else does something wrong, it's a character flaw in
(reject negative feedback or personal faults)
- helps us move past these possible barriers
1. Describe the behavior
("When you didn't reply to my question...")
2. Offer 2 possible interpretations
("I wasn't sure if you were ignoring me, or was just busy....")
3. Request clarification
("Can you help me better understand why?")
occurs within mind or self
: Collection of
beliefs about your self
Answers question, "Who I am?"
Evaluation of your self-concept
Question answered with, "I am worthy, valuable, and competent."
: A form of self-regulation or
talking within self
: "How am I ever going to do this..."
: "I can do this!"
Will you make your self-talk positive or negative??
Characteristics of self
(recharges by being around people)
Introvert (recharges by being alone)
Self-monitoring - ability to regulate behavior to accommodate social situations
High self-monitors reach for positive feedback from others
Low self-monitors often exhibit their beliefs regardless of social circumstance
there might be a problem..."
I'm not an expert
- "We should go sit down,
"It's a nice day,
"This is probably a stupid question,
"Don't get me wrong,
According to studies, women’s nonverbal behaviors regularly communicate a
lack of social power.
Being aware of these variables can help them and all individuals regain this power.
Assertive Communication: I-Statements
Help person be
without putting the listener on the defensive
Help person take
responsibility for their feelings
Can be used in
toward other person
"I feel like___"
(taking responsibility for one's own feelings)
“I don't like it when__”
(stating the behavior that is a problem)
(what it is about the behavior or its consequences that you don't like)
"I would like___"
(tell what you want to happen instead)
"Can we work this out together?”
(be open to working on the problem together).
Avoid you-statements that put the blame on other person
"You never...."; "You always..."
All pictures taken for Educational purposes only.
Interpersonal Comm.: Powerless Speech
Pair your competence with openness
People are drawn to those they can relate to
Frame your questions as suggestions
Give people the space to disagree with you
Value others feedback
do you have to
learn from them
How can you help
And can you
express your true personality
Interpersonal Comm.: Finding a Balance
Sometimes in more what you don't do than what you do
Empowerment: giving power away to others
Power is in everything we do
Assertive Comm.: Responding to Nondefensive Criticism
Ask for specifics:
"What do I do that's unfair?"
Guess about specifics:
"I can't tell you exactly what's wrong with your sense of humor, all I can say is that I don't like it."
Paraphrase speaker's ideas:
"It seems you're upset. Can you tell me what's wrong?
Agree with the facts:
"You're right, I am angry."
Agree with critics perception
"I can see why that makes sense to you..."
I-Statements are messages used to resolve conflict in a healthy way
“Sometimes you have to be there for yourself before you can be there for anyone else.”
“In order to give respect to ourselves, we must demand it from others”
There are intense highs and lows.
You feel like you have to try to keep them happy.
After disrespect, your partner promises to change but the cycle starts over and continues again.
Your partner gets overly jealous, checking up on you constantly, following you, or having to be with you constantly.
Your partner threatens to kill themselves if you break up with them.
You are constantly blamed for their mistakes or temper tantrums.
You are desperate to be with this person, even to the point of flaking out on other important things in your life or your friends.
Your partner discourages time spent with your friends or communication with others.
You feel pressured or controlled by this person.
You feel addicted to this person, or like you are just killing time until you see them again.
Your partner tells you to change.
Your partner calls you names, puts you down, or humiliates you.
Your partner demands you to give them something for you to show that you love them.
Your partner does not show you respect through their actions and words toward you.
Your partner hits/slaps you.
You feel scared or nervous around this person.
You have forgotten or don’t know who you are without this person.
Unhealthy Relationships Continued
• You feel free to be yourself around this person.
• You both accept each other’s differences.
• During disagreements, you both make an effort to talk things out honestly.
• You are both willing to compromise sometimes.
• You don’t feel guilty or pressured by your partner.
• You generally feel appreciated and liked.
• There is mutual respect for one another.
• There is no verbal, physical, sexual, or financial abuse going on.
• You both can have your separate lives apart.
• You feel affirmed and valued.
Read "Letter to My Daughter" and answer accompanying questions.
"What Constitutes a Bad Relationship" Handout
"Why do People Stay in Unhealthy Relationships?" Handout
Interpersonal: Communication Styles
involves respect for the boundaries of oneself and others (the most healthy form)
“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”
“I’m 100% responsible for my own happiness.”
Use “I” statements
Communicate respect for others
Listen well without interrupting
avoiding expressing your opinions, feelings, or needs
“I’m weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate, and disrupt.”
“I will appear cooperative but I’m not.”
Tend to speak softly or apologetically
Exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body posture
Fail to take responsibility for expressing
feelings, opinions, or needs
"How to Talk to People" Handout
express their feelings, opinions, or needs in a way that violates the rights of others
“I can dominate and intimidate you.”
"You owe me."
Use “you” statements
Have piercing eye contact and an overbearing posture
appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way
“It’s all your fault.”
“I’m superior and right and you’re inferior and wrong.”
Mutter to themselves rather than confront the person
Use facial expressions that don't match how they feel (Ex. Smiling when angry)
Relational Analysis Paper
Understand a particular relationship in your life through course concepts
Recognize behaviors in your relationship that illustrate course concepts
Using these course concepts, develop a plan for improving your relationship
One course concepts
(Ex. Hedges, Tag Questions, Disclaimers, You-Statements)
One communication style
(Ex. Aggressive, Passive, Passive-aggressive) regarding what might be in need of fixing
One example that shows us why this communication style was chosen
(Ex. “Because my partner makes me feel guilty by using sarcasm, I know that a passive-aggressive communication is taking place.”)
Describe how you will change your communication styles to improve the relationship
One example of an "I-Statement"
One example of using "Perception Checking"
The Power of Interpersonal Interactions
can lead to
physical, social, and emotional problems
and even death
increased risk of
depression, anxiety, headaches
risk for substance use, academic problems, and violence
to others later in life
NICHD research studies show that anyone involved with bullying—
those who are bullied
AND those who bully
—are at increased
risk for depression
(National Institute of Child Health Development)
Suicide is the third leading cause of death
among young people
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely
to consider suicide than non-victims
A study in Britain found that
at least half
of suicides among young people are
related to bullying
According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly
30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying
kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying
These negative outcomes can and must be prevented
15 Famous and Successful People Who Were Bullied In School
“You have to make it push you to become a stronger person, in whatever way that may be.”
Communication between two or more people