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Stress Management - Chapter 13

PHED Lecture
by

Stress Management

on 4 January 2013

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Transcript of Stress Management - Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Social Support, Relationships, and Communication Objectives -Describe the connection between social support and stress

-Describe the types of social support

-Explain how effective listening is the key to healthy communication

-Explain the importance of touch as a form of nonverbal communication

-Discuss how men and women may handle stress differently

-Identify the styles of conflict management Social Support, Relationships, and Communication Social support and close relationships:
- Go hand-in-hand with good health
- Serve as a shield to protect us
- Prevent stress
- Boost your self-esteem and happiness
- Contribute to overall health and wellbeing Knowledge/belief that one is cared for and loved, belongs to a network of communication, and has a mutual obligation with others in the network

Made up of all of the people who meet our needs Social
Support Types of Social Support Instrumental support

Emotional support

Informational support

Appraisal support Provides a buffer for stress:
When the support is received at the point of appraisal of a potential threat
When the person is trying to recover from a stressful experience Social Support and Stress: Social Support and Health Many studies show that absence of social support increase unhealthy behaviors and outcomes

The comfort and support provided by a friend or family member reduces the intensity of events that could seem threatening Learn to say the magic word:
NO Time Tip Relationships Throughout life, the close relationships we develop and maintain are integral in shaping who we become and how we deal with life Sources of Stress in Relationships The way we interact with those around us can have a potent effect on the stress we feel

The relationships we have with others may even reflect the relationship we have with ourselves Relationships with Pets Sometimes pets are better than people for improving our mood

Pet therapy has been useful in dealing with emotional problems in people of all ages and situations Relationships & Marriage Relationships in Marriage Disagreements are necessary to some extent in all good marriages

Five-to-one ratio – stable relationships have five times as many positive factors as negative ones Love and Relationships: People have a need to feel loved

Relationships are nurtured when we understand how to give and receive love Five Love Languages

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch Determining Your Love Language - What does your partner do or fail to do that hurts you deeply?
- What have you most often requested of your partner?
- In what ways do you express love to your partner regularly?
- When have you felt totally and completely loved?
-Which of the love languages were you receiving? Once you have determined your love language, let your partner know

Find out your partner’s love language Communication Relationships develop through communication

The most destructive quality of a relationship is lack of communication Source: “Does the Internet Make People Unhappy?” by M. Preboth and S. Wright, American Family Physician, 59(6) (1999). Internet Connection Study found that people who spend even a few hours a week online have higher levels of depression and loneliness that those who use the Internet less frequently FYI Listening Lack of listening skills seems to be one of the biggest barriers to effective communication and a source of great stress

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood”
– Stephen Covey Autobiographical Listening Listening from the perspective of our own point of view
We evaluate
We probe
We advise or tell
We interpret Empathic Listening Active listening with the intention and commitment of truly understanding the other before seeking to be understood Four Stages:

Stage 1: Mimic content of communication

Stage 2: Rephrase the content

Stage 3: Reflect feeling

Stage 4: Rephrase content and reflect meaning Communication an attitude of caring and true desire to understand creates the possibility for developing the relationship further Becoming a better listener:
- Listen more, talk less
- Suspend judgment
- Look for the interesting aspects of the other person
- Avoid giving advice
- Allow moments of silence
- Listen with your eyes and your heart as much as your ears
- Use appropriate body signals Nonverbal Communication -Touch is especially powerful in influencing stress
- Touch is one of the ultimate expressions of caring relationships
- Through the sense of touch, messages from the external environment come to the attention of the body and mind
- Touch can make that message positive by reinforcing our perceived sense of social support Men and Women – Different Can Be Good Men and women may communicate differently and deal with stress differently

Key is to respect and appreciate those differences Managing Conflict Conflict – an expressed struggle between at least two independent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals

Conflict can be constructive Assertiveness – standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways that do not violate the other person’s rights Styles of Conflict Resolution Avoidance style

Accommodating style

Competing style

Compromising style

Collaborating style A group of 100 couples were asked to hold hands while watching a pleasant 10-minute video and then hug for 20 seconds
Another group of 85 people rested quietly without their partners Hold My Hand Research Highlight Results:

Blood pressure soared in the no-contact group when relating a stressful event

Heart rate increased 10 bpm for those without contact compared to 5 bpm for the huggers Hold My Hand Research Highlight Source: Recent Warm Physical Contact with Partner Is Related to Lower Cardiovascular Reactivity to Stress, by B. Anderson, K. Grewen, and K. Light, address given at 61st annual scientifi c meeting of American Psychosomatic Society, 2003. A brief hug and ten minutes of handholding with a romantic partner greatly reduced the harmful physical effects of stress Hold My Hand Research Highlight Source: “The Big Deal with Feel,” by D. McPherson, Coloradan, Sept. 2003: 14-15. In Touch With Touch Waitresses who touch their customers get better tips than waitresses who don’t FYI For approximately 30 minutes, listen to someone by focusing all your listening energy on listening for the single purpose of understanding Empathic Listening LAB After you have finished, respond to the following questions:

Describe the situation

Describe how you noticed yourself vacillating between listening empathically and listening autobiographically Empathic Listening LAB Describe how the person you were talking with responded to you when you listened with empathy

Describe how easy or difficult you found that it was to listen empathically for that long Empathic Listening LAB Key Points Supportive relationships can serve as a shield to protect us from potential distress

Social support is a network of relationships that engender a feeling of being cared for and loved

Types of social support include instrumental support, emotional support, informational support, and appraisal support

Effective communication is one of the most important qualities for a relationship to survive and thrive Empathic listening is active listening with the intention and commitment of truly understanding the other person before seeking to be understood oneself

Touch is an important form of nonverbal communication

Men and women may have different ways of wanting to feel loved

Conflict can be positive

Five styles of conflict resolution are avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, and collaborating Key Points
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