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Commentary & Directed Writing

Paper 1

Mr. Skocik

on 31 January 2018

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Transcript of Commentary & Directed Writing

Commentary & Directed Writing
How can I prepare for Paper 1, Commentary & Directed Writing?
Paper 1
In this paper you will be given three passages for comment from which you are to choose two. You must choose the first passage and you can either choose passage 2 or passage 3.
For each of the passages you will be asked to write a commentary on the writer's use of language.
Approx. length of the original passage
The passages will be drawn from a variety of sources, for example fiction, or non-fiction such as advertisements, magazine articles, biography or even from spoken language such as a speech.
You will then be given a directed writing task based on the passage.
120-150 words
Paper 1 Exam Conditions
2 Hours 15 Minutes
Answer Passage 1
either Passage 2 or Passage 3
Comment on the style & language of the passage - be conscious of any particular instructions (tone, rhetoric, etc.)
Directed Writing - 120-150 words basing your answer closely to the style and language of the original
Repeat for Passage 2
Passage 3
Commentary Plan
Punctuation & Grammar
Figures of Speech (FOS)
Consider the following:
Analyzing the way in which writer's use punctuation to achieve particular effects.
comma(s), exclamation marks, brackets, question mark, colon, semi-colon, dash
Parts of speech - noun, verb, adjective, adverb, conjunction, pronoun, & preposition
Sentence structure
* Before you start to write your commentary on a passage, take time to see whether a particular part of speech or a particular type of sentence structure is predominant in it.
Audience/ Author's Purpose
Audience - the audience of any piece of writing is the person or group of people for whom the piece is written - those who will be reading the piece of writing.

Author's Purpose - knowing why he/she wrote what he/she did
to persuade, to dissuade, to ridicule, to advertise, to give information, to be humorous, to puzzle, to scare, to offer a POV, to offer contrasting POV, etc . . .

Audience and Author's Purpose are clearly related.
AICE English Language
Genre/ Tone
mystery, historical, supernatural, romance, science fiction, war, human interest, adventure, crime, etc. . .
biography, autobiography, travel, history, geography, etc . . .
Register - the levels of formality of language.
Figures of Speech
The key to appreciating figures of speech and to scoring high marks on your examination questions is to do more than merely identify the FOS. Be careful to analyze its effectiveness and comment on that effectiveness. The key is to
identify & comment.
Tone - attitude of a writer toward a subject or an audience.
Tone is generally conveyed through diction or the viewpoint of a writer on a particular subject.
Short Passages for Comment
Shanghai Childhood
Short Passages for Comment
Traveller's Check
Short Passages for Comment
On Tracks for Big Day Preparation
Short Passages for Comment
Let Freedom Reign
Directed Writing
In Paper 1 of the examination you will be given three passages and you will need to comment on the 1st passage and either passage 2 or 3.
You will also need to complete a directed writing for these two passages.
The word "directed" suggests that the task is prescribed in some way.
Make sure you read the task instructions carefully.
The task may be imaginative or it may allow you to write in a particular literary form or genre (i.e. letter, newspaper article, diary)
Your writing may be expected to read like fiction or non-fiction.
You will most likely be asked to emulate the writing style of the author of the passage you just analyzed.
Attempt to mimic their style, tone, structure and FOS unless directed otherwise.
Do Not use their same examples in your writing, use examples which prove you understood their purpose and stylistic choices.
In the style of the original passage, write about a vivid memory (120-150 words) from your own childhood.
Directed Writing
Shanghai Childhood
Directed Writing
As a travel writer for a newspaper, you have travelled on the North Borneo Railway and you were unimpressed. Using the information in the passage, write an article for your newspaper (120-150 words) in which you try to dissuade readers from making the journey.
Directed Writing
In the style of the original passage, write a similar article (120-150 words) on an attempt you have made to keep fit, lose weight or both.
Directed Writing
You have been asked to make a speech to the other senior students in your school on a subject about which you have strong views. Write the opening of your speech (120-150 words) in the style of the original passage.

My fellow students, all of us show by our attendance at this meeting today that we are concerned about the planet we live on, a planet rich in beauty and resources, but a planet where, alas, these resources are not shared equally. The time has come to commit ourselves to raising awareness in our school of the inequalities in our world. The time has come to educate and inform through posters and seminars. The time has come for the formation of a One World group in the school. Our sisters and brothers in other parts of the world need to know that we stand alongside them and are able to assist them. Through our fund raising, through our awareness raising, through our efforts, let us make our own contribution, however small, on a global scale, to food for all, to water for all, to employment for all, to justice for all. Let us start today.

Sample Directed Writing
Sample Directed Writing
A little optimism goes a long way. I swaggered into the gym every evening, gaining confidence from my new, squeaky clean sports gear – trainers, track suit, the lot. My aim was improved fitness through classes called, scarily, Body Pump.

Why did Anna seem so much quicker at the movements than I did? Why did I keep looking at her? For the first five minutes I wheezed like an old horse. For the last ten minutes, when we lay mats to ‘wind down’, I resembled a beached whale – a small, fit one, of course. I didn’t sweat, I perspired daintily.

I persevered for eight classes. Eight one-hour classes. Eight hours of non-stop torture. But meaningfully so. Then the bombshell dropped. My coach told me she thought the exercise was too hard for me and that I should move down a level. I was aerobically challenged by her class, she said. Dreadful, arrogant woman! Insufferable fool who didn’t understand me! (Not my exercise needs, anyway).

Sample Directed Writing
Thomas Cook may have been the first travel agent, and a trip to the Lake District may have been exciting in its day, but nowadays perhaps travelers seek a more fulfilling experience than a train journey. With this in mind, I set off on the North Borneo Railway, on the tourist route to Papar. The railway is limited to two trips a week and the track covers only a few hundred kilometres. The rickety line shook me until I felt sick, and as for my fellow passengers! Never had I seen such a motley crew of misfits, approaching this rail journey as if it were some rare mystical experience. Perhaps Malaysia’s past should be relegated to the history books instead of being reproduced in railway carriages, like some sort of time warp. Trains may have their attractions for some, but for me, in this day and age, the scope for seeing the world which is presented by air travel is infinitely preferable. I’m sure Thomas Cook would agree.
Sample Directed Writing
I sat on the wall beside my house, dangling my legs, and wondering how long it would be before my feet would touch the ground beneath while my bottom was still in contact with the wall. I studied my new, sparkling white sandals. I had been warned to look after them, but to my dismay I noticed a crack in the stiffness of the leather. A huge shadow fell over my feet. It was Elaine, who, like me, was five years old; my heart leaped at the thought of another exciting adventure with her. Would it be the same as yesterday? A walk to the shop at the end of our street? Sure enough, Elaine was clutching a coin, our passport to delicious sweetmeats. Wordlessly, we set off on the long journey, careful not to stand on any cracks on the pavement, which, we had been told by a big boy, would bring Bad Luck. Today, although I am unclear as to what this bad luck might have been, I recall vividly the deep-down sensation of panic in the pit of my stomach at the very concept.
Longer Passages for Comment
Bush - New Orleans
Fishing & Chief Seattle
Fishing -


Chief Seattle Directed Writing -
After reading the passage taken from Chief Seattle's speech to the American President in 1854, I want you to consider his perspective. What would be your reaction in a similar situation?

Imagine you are being offered money for your land. You may consider yourself the
President or perhaps an Indian Chief (feel free to be creative), but you know that the takeover is inevitable. How can you politely decline while still presenting insightful advice for the new rulers of your home?

In a directed writing utilizing the same style and language of the original, prepare a speech
to save your nation.
Directed Writing
Polar Bear
Mentor Text
Monopark 5000
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