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Love & Intimacy SP18

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by

Jenna Messman

on 12 November 2018

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Transcript of Love & Intimacy SP18

Intimacy
* Intimacy is more than sexuality. It is at the heart of nurturing and emotionally nourishing relationships, and its linked with maintaining positive relationships (Heller & Wood, 1998).

* Intimacy is described as occurring when people share meaning and achieve relatedness, attachment, and unity (Sternberg, 1986).

*Intimacy involves an awareness of separateness from one's partner with many aspects of self that remain to be shared. Separateness is maintained by keeping a clear and undistorted sense of self, managing personal anxieties, remaining unreactive to a partner's overreactions and tolerating discomfort in order to achieve personal and relational growth (Schnarch, 1997).


Dimensions of Intimacy
Conflict resolution - the ease with which differences of opinion are resolved
Affection - the degree to which feelings of emotional closeness are expressed
Cohesion - a feeling of commitment to the relationship
Sexuality - the degree to which sexual needs are communicated and fulfilled by the relationship
Identity - the couple's level of confidence and self-esteem
Compatibility - the degree to which the couple is able to work and play together comfortably
Autonomy - the success to which the couple gains independence from their families of origin and offspring
Expressiveness - the degree to which thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and feelings are shared within the relationship

Why is intimacy so hard to describe?

Why do so many of us cite intimacy as one of the most important aspects to human relationships?
What is INTIMACY?

Write your personal definition of INTIMACY on a piece of paper.
Waring, 1988
Couples may be intimate in some aspects of their relationship, yet not in others.
Think of the most intimate relationship you have had/currently have. Think about them as we move forward today.


What is LOVE?

Write your personal definition of LOVE on a piece of paper.
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love (1988)
Intimacy
Passion
Decision/Commitment
This model proposes that LOVE is based on the degree of intensity of these 3 elements
...the friendship or specialness of the relationship. The feelings of closeness, bondedness, connectedness, trust, and friendship in the relationship.
...the excitement or energy of the relationship. The feelings of physical attraction, romance, and arousal (particularly sexual arousal) in the relationship.
...the “business aspect” of the relationship. This includes all the shared investments, or the “history” of the relationship, such as decisions, experiences, and adjustments. Short-term decisions and long-term commitment.
Liking: Can be summed up as having intimacy with one another, feeling close, & trusting one another.
Infatuation: Love at first sight. Can arise instantly and dissipate quickly. where the couple are temporarily ga-ga over one another.

Empty Love:This is most often an older relationship where the passion and intimacy have died…like “falling out of love.”
Romantic Love: This can be a blossoming relationship where the couple feel like best friends or “friends with benefits”. As experiences grow with one another, this type of love may develop Commitment.
Companionate love: This usually occurs in older relationships where the couple remain best friends, but no longer feel passion for one another. This type of love can still be very satisfying and long-lasting.
Fantasy Love:This is a feeling of love because the couple wants to be in love…but they really have little in common.
Non-Love:
*all sides absent
*acquaintance
How do YOU communicate love to someone?
How do you prefer to receive love from someone else?
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
*compliments, encouragement, affirming their situation/perspective
*focusing all of your energy, uninterrupted time, quality conversation, doing an activity, having an outing, "alone time"...
*visual symbols of respect and care, treasure any gift as an expression of trust and acknowledgment, investing money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship
*simple to humble chores, doing them out of consideration - not obligation, stepping out of stereotypes/roles
*In any relationship, it is important to discover how the other responds not only physically but also psychologically to touch, what is appropriate for the situation, can be more powerful than words
Where do we see...
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
This model proposes that LOVE is based on the degree of intensity of these 3 elements
...the friendship or specialness of the relationship. The feelings of closeness, bondedness, connectedness, trust, and friendship in the relationship.
...the “business aspect” of the relationship. This includes all the shared investments, or the “history” of the relationship, such as decisions, experiences, and adjustments. Short-term decisions and long-term commitment.
...the excitement or energy of the relationship. The feelings of physical attraction, romance, and arousal (particularly sexual arousal) in the relationship.
Which is the BEST kind of love?
Power-Based Violence Review
How to Help a Friend
Title IX office and CARE
Dear Colleague
The more vulnerable...
The Hunting Ground
TopHat questions

Final Paper - Due May 6th
Topics covered:
History of Sex
Defining Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Sexual Rights
Reproductive Anatomy
Human Sexual Response
STIs
Safer Sex
Comprehensive Sex Education
Conception and Contraception
Pregnancy & Childbirth
Parental Leave
Healthy Relationships
Communication
LGBTQ+ Identities
LGBTQ+ & Substance Use Panel
Trans-Inclusive Resources and Practices
Power-Based Violence
Love & Intimacy
Orgasm Gap OR Kinky Sex
80% of the class by May 9 =
1 May Bonus Point for ALL!

This is YOUR responsibility
...now let's VOTE
Full transcript