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The Recipe for Healthy Conflict.

3 parts proper motive, 1 part people skills. Serve infrequently.
by

Kent Evans

on 23 May 2016

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Transcript of The Recipe for Healthy Conflict.

Feed on it.
Feel lost without it.
Go looking for it.
Create it.
Enjoy it.
Hide from it.
Deflect it.
Pretend it's not there.
Avoid it at all costs.
Hate it.
Prov 20:3
2 Tim 1:7
FEAR
LOVE
conflict
conflict
Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
The Recipe for
Healthy
motive
&
Conflict is not evil.
Conflict is a tool.
Jesus did it all the time.
Are these tools
good

or
bad?
That depends on two things.
There are basically two kinds of
people.
Where do you fall?
Healthy
Unhealthy
Leads to:
Personal Growth
Relational Decay
Goal:
Help others
Elevate self
Delivery Method:
Private &
Careful
Public &
Reckless
Motive:
Love
Pride
Metaphor:
Exercise
Cancer
Preceded
by:
Thought &
Prayer
Anger &
Frustration
Teams
become:
Transparent
Trusting
Guarded &
Defensive
This is how you do it.
Back to Jesus.
conflict.
conflict.
Conflict comes in two basic flavors.
Pharisees.
When He had
conflict,
What were His
motives?
Peter.
John 2:13-22 | Mark 11:15-17
Pilate.
Garden.
Rich ruler.
Demons.
Martha.
The Grave.
Moneylenders.
Saul.
Matt 16:23
Luke 22:39-46 Mark 14:32-41
Matt 19:16-22
Matt 8:28-34 | Luke 4:33-37
John 19:8-11
Luke 10:38-42
Acts 9:1-6
Mark 16 Luke 24 | John 20 | Matt 28
The user's:
skill
motive
&
skill
5 Steps
6 Tips
1. Check your
motive
. What is driving you?
2. Clarify your
desire
. What do you want?
3. Consider the
past
. Have you tried and failed?
4. Count the
cost
. Does the gain outweigh the price?
5. Carefully
approach
. Be respectful and transparent.
Pray beforehand.
Privacy usually best. (Matt 18)
Have good timing. (Prov 25:11)
Lower your voice. (Gal 6:1)
Use questions vs. statements.
Don't "become known" for it.
We are horrible at it.
We have lost the art of healthy debate.
“A lot of conflict is caused by people wanting to feel important.”
- Rick Warren
Luke 11:37-54 Matt 23:1-15 | Matt 15:1-20
HC
HC
Quality
Time
This is not realistic.
HC
HC
HC
HC
HC
HC
HC
HC
HC
Quality
Time
Healthy Conflict Leads to Growth
HC
Full transcript