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Deborah Tannen

'"Can't we talk?" condensed from " You just don't understand."

Natalie Bodor

on 11 May 2010

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Transcript of Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen biography Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University
author of many books and articles about how the language of everyday conversation affects relationships
She is best known as the author of You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, which was on the New York Times Best Seller This is the book that brought gender differences in communication style to the forefront of public awareness

difference in women's and men's communication style generate conflict

by understanding the thought process of each sex, we can arrive at understanding eachother and solving problems

Rhetorics establishes crediblity by her scientific insight, being a specialist in linguistics

combination of humorous writing and scientific research

use of entertaining examples that everyone can relate to

Structure 1. Real life example of a common, everyday exchange between women and men

II. Reaction and completely different impressions of what was said for each sex

III. Interpretation and explanation of what went wrong.
THESIS: structures writing by separating and explaining the differnt approach women vs. men

status vs. support
independence vs. intimacy
advice vs. understanding
information vs. feelings
order vs. proposals
conflict vs. compromise
MORE attention grabbing intro by example of married couple in car
agitate and solve
social proof
personal experience
repition- pattern
Status vs. support For men conversation is a contest. For women it is a way to exchange confirmation and support. Independence vs intimacy women struggle to preserve intimacy, while men concerned with status focus on independence Advice vs. Understanding For men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions. consistency is associated with integrity and rational behavior.

conversational style of men and women differ allows readers to persuade themselves
Information vs. Feelings For women, conversation is verbalizing emotions, for men talk is information or used to claim attention and entertain Orders vs. Proposals Women forumulate requests as proposals. Men perceive being asked indirectly as an attempt to manipulate them. Conflict vs. Compromise Women often refuse to oppose the will of others openly. However sometimes it is more effective and men can adjust their style to less confrontational. consensus building I. II.
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