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Do You Have A Marriage Compass?

What Guides Your Idea Of What Makes A Good Marriage?

Paul W Anderson PhD

on 6 March 2014

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Transcript of Do You Have A Marriage Compass?

Some Common Expectations:
Love each other (but by whose definition of love?)
Partnership, sharing life equally
The man knows best and dominates
The partner with the money rules
She talks a lot: he says, "What ever dear!"
She does the work inside. He is the outside person.
Mutual respect based on proven relationship skills.
Expectations Are
Learned And Can Change
If in your mind the marriage is OK, stop reading. Don't bother yourself. Don't fix something that seems to be working.
On the other hand, your exceptions lead you. They are your COMPASS in a given area of life.
What are your

of your relationship?
Maybe You've Never Thought About It, What Guides Your Marriage.
Many assume their marriage is going OK if tension or fighting is at a minimum.
Other indicators people use to determine the health of their relationship included frequency of sex, how they feel (happy, sad, mad etc.), if they agree on major topics such as religion or parenting.
Some want to feel emotionally safe with each other and have intimate joy in their marriage.
What Does A Good Marriage Look like?
What does a
marriage compass
look like? It is basically a set of rules that guides how you do marriage. Call them EXPECTATIONS.
You have them, whether you know it or not. If a friend asks you, "How's you marriage doing?" you will have an answer. What is that answer based on?
Is The Compass Your Society Gave You Getting You The Marriage You Want?
A compass latches onto a known point that is dependable. It then allows you to decide your own course relative to the known, in the case of a magnetic compass, true North.
Our culture tells us how to do marriage. 50% of the time, that "true north" fails us with a high divorce rate.
Culture Gives Us Our
First Compass Setting
Do You Have One?

Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D.
Full transcript