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Transcript of Adoption
Need Help? References Bronfenbrenner's Ecological
Systems Theory Children's Books Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew Case Study Images of the Child Adoption holds so many images of the child depending on who's point of view you are looking at it from.
An adopted child can be seen as an innocent child based on the fact that the child needs protection from society in being judged for being unwanted by his/her birth parents. The adoptive parents will feel they need to protect their little one from any prejudices that may arise.
An adopted child can also be seen as a noble child in that this child by being given up for adoption has saved his/her birth parents from a life of struggle. If the birth family had kept the child and raised him/her on their own, life may have been harder for everyone. This adopted child is also playing a role of saving his/her adopted parents from a life without children.
There has always been a hope from adoptive parents that their child is to enter their home as a blank slate also. These new parents are hoping that this child is an empty vessel that will only be filled with the knowledge they give the child and with no hardships of the life before they met. Adoption Options Parent Support Groups - 780-433-5656 Edmonton Adopting Beyond Infancy Association - 780-457-9981 Edmonton & District Family Support Association - 780-496-9890 Positive Impacts (Lin, 2007) (Lears, 2005) (Lopez, 2010) (Parr, 2007) (Carlson, 2004) (Friedman, 2009) Adapted from the book written by Sherrie Eldridge (1999): You are not responsible for whatever happened in my life before we met. Just listen to me talk; this is how I will heal.
I am afraid you will abandon me, like so many before you. I need you to help me understand this is not true. I want you to teach me that I do not need to be ashamed of the special needs I have acquired from adoption loss.
If I do not grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will hinder healthy relationships in my future. Please do not take offense if my unsolved issues appear to create an anger towards you. Teach me to deal with my grief in more appropriate ways.
I need your help; teach me how to get in touch with my feelings regarding my adoption, and then validate them. Just because you do not hear me talk about my birth family, does not mean that I do not think about them; I do, a lot.
I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family; I may be too shy, scared, or ashamed to do so myself. I have questions regarding my conception, birth, and family history. Please answer them honestly, no matter how painful the truth may be.
I am afraid I was given up for adoption because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me understand that was not the case. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden, in order to completely integrate all aspects of my identity into my life.
I need to gain a sense of personal power if I am to consider myself part of this family. I want to be considered an embodiment of this family, but I need to know that you both acknowledge and appreciate our differences.
Let me be my own person... but do not let me pull away from you. Help me understand that you are always here for me when I need you. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption; do not tell other people without my consent. I will tell them when I am ready.
You must understand, birthdays can be particularly difficult for me. Please have patience, I do not understand my behaviour either. Not knowing my full medical history can be difficult at times; help me get through the daunting questionnaires and resounding "if we only knew..." comments.
I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle; I need you to help me understand that no matter what we are family. When I act out my fears in seemingly obvious ways, please bear with me and help me come to terms with my past.
If I decide to search for my birth family, remember that I will always consider you to be my parents. Nothing can ever change that. Children's Books Carlson, N. (2004). My Family Is Forever. New York: Penguin Group.
Friedman, D. (2009). Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption and Brownies with Sprinkles. New York: HarperCollins Children's Books.
Lears, L. (2005). Megan's Birthday Tree: A Story About Open Adoption. Marton Grove: Albert Whitman & Company.
Lin, G. (2007). The Red Thread: An Adoption Fairy Tale. Marton Grove: Albert Whitman & Company.
Lopez, S. (2010). The Best Family in the World. Tulsa: Kane Miller, A Division of EDC Publishing.
Parr, T. (2007). We Belong Together: A Bokk About Adoption and Families. New York: Hachette Book Group. * Enables the child/ren to grow up within a family unit, surrounded by love, support and encouragement. *Enables people to share their love, values, beliefs, and home with a child who might not otherwise experience these necessities *Creates a sense of belonging, familiarity, and family structure that s/he may not otherwise have in their life Urie Bronfenbrenner (1917-2005) was a contextualist who believed that children are significantly affected by their environments. He credited both the direct and indirect the influences of these social settings in the formation of the child's development, and "portrayed the developing child as embedded in a series of complex and interactive systems" (Kail & Zolner, 2012, p. 11) through his ecological theory.
The child's overall environment consists of four levels; the microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem and macrosystem. Each year 2,000 children in Canada are adopted from the public system. Another 2,122 children were adopted internationally in 2009 and became Canadian citizens. In addition, 500-600 children are adopted privately. This amounts to approximately 4,700 children being adopted each year (retrieved from www.adoption.ca). It is imperative that child care providers have a better understanding of where these children are coming from. Having a better understanding of an adoptive child's feelings will help to foster a better relationship with them and their parents. "What we see changes what we know. What we know changes what we see." (Jean Piaget). Children in Today's Society
By Allison Konkin &
Grant MacEwan University
ECDV 110 Child Development I
Instructor: Christine Massing Rita is an adopted child who is four years old . She has two loving adoptive parents who are both from Germany. They fled Germany 20 years ago and left everything and everyone they know behind. They have had no contact with their family back in Germany since they left. Rita's mom stays at home with her since she longed for a child for so long she could never imagine leaving her with anyone else. Rita's dad works as janitor in a local school. He does not make much money but they don't spend much either. They are a strong christian family and very involved in their church community. Rita's family speaks mostly German at home and have found some friends that speak German as well. Rita does not have many friends her age but socializes well with most of the children from church. Rita has some troubles with speaking English since German is the first language spoken at home. Introduction Books Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul
Stories Celebrating Forever Families
By: Jack Canfiels, Mark Victor Hansen, and LeAnn Thieman Black Baby White Hands
By: Jaiya John, Charlene Maxwell, and Jacqueline V. Richmond Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
By Sherrie Eldridge *The outside world can have a very negative impact on children's feelings of adoption. If people are unsure of how to react they can sometimes say and do things that may hurt a child or parents of an adopted child Negative Impacts *Some children can feel a large distance between them and their adoptive parents, they have difficulty attaching to their adoptive parents *They can often wonder if their parents love them as much as birth parents would *Children who have spent an extended period of time in foster care may have a troubling adjustment period while trying to find their place and gain the trust of their adoptive parents *If an adoptive family also has birth children a child can feel distance in not looking like siblings or parents as the other children do *Gives a child a sense of security they may not have had in their home country Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents
By Deborah D. Gray In respect to childcare, Early Childhood Development professionals should do their best to understand and appreciate all of the interrelated factors that shape the development of the children in their care. This can be done by conducting sociological studies, observing the child's local environments, maintaining up to date knowledge of economic or employment changes that directly affect the child, understanding any social challenges the child may experience, and of course, both establishing and maintaining good communication with the child's parents and family. (Martin, 2010, p. 70) These elements will not only allow for early recognition of possible issues, but will also enable you to offer relevant resources in a timely fashion in order to help minimize any negative impacts that could befall the child and his family. Conclusion