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Fortifying Our Families Under Stres

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Kyle Wilson

on 1 April 2015

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Transcript of Fortifying Our Families Under Stres

Teaching our Children Resiliency
The personal qualities and tendencies I would like to teach my own children

-Our children’s individual worth will not be determined by others, their grades in school, or by their
accomplishments in extracurricular activities.

-Our children will understand that our failures and weaknesses are part of the learning processes and they
give us an opportunity to grow.

-We will teach our children to, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Cognitive Behavior Therapy
"I think therefore I fear"- David D. Burns, M.D

Based on three ideas:
You feel the way you think.
When you're anxious, you're fooling yourself. Anxiety results from distorted, illogical thoughts.
When you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel.



Family Council

“If parents will establish a climate conducive to openness, where every person is important and every opinion is valued, they can create a kind of spiritual synergism in the home, where the combined action or cooperation that results is greater than the sum of the individual parts.” Elder M. Russell Ballard


Staggered Deep Breathing

Lowers your heart rate.
Focuses your thoughts on breathing instead of what is causing you stress.
Helps keep you calm.

How it's done
-
Inhale deeply through your nose for six counts and then exhale through your mouth for a count of four.

Family Systems Theory


"A system is essentially any set of objects, with their attributes, which relate to each other in a way that creates a new superentity. The family is a social system. It is a boundary-maintained unit composed of interrelated and interdependent parts such that at alteration in one part affects all components of the system."

Family Stress Models

Both Lomon Koos and Reuben Hill researched families undergoing times of crisis. They both developed graphical representations of how the families adjusted to these events.
Fortifying Our Families
Under Stress

Understanding how Stress Attacks
Developing
a plan with Theories and Models
"To understand stress and stress response we must process a fundamental knowledge not only of psychology, but of physiology as well"- George Everly
Stress:
A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstance.

Stressor
: The actual stimulus causing the challenge or threat.

Psychological Distress
: Our body fails to respond positively to the stressor resulting in unpleasant emotions or feelings that interfere with normal function.
Anxiety
Sadness
Depression
Distraction
During times of stress our body's hypothalamus activates two systems
Fight or Flight
Sympathetic Nervous System
Adrenal-Cortical System
Uses Nerve Pathways (quick response)
Speeds up Body
Tells adrenal medulla to release epinephrine and norepinephrine

Uses Bloodstream (slower response)
Releases ACTH Hormone
ACTH tells the adrenal cortex to release several more stress hormones
Both Pathways Cause

Increased Heart Rate
Tense muscles
Blood directed to major muscles
Blood glucose levels increase
Trouble focusing on small tasks
Nonessential systems shut down (digestion and immune systems



Earl Lomon Koos
Reuben Hill
In addition to his graphical representation, Hill also developed the ABCX Model
:

A=
A
ctual Event
B=
B
oth Resources and Responses
C=
C
ognition
X= The Total e
X
perience
"Models help us to conceptualize things that are not otherwise obvious or apparent." -Michael D. Williams
Cognitive Based Therapy
appropriate
for:
Chronic worrying
Fears and Phobias
Anxiety
Shyness
Panic attacks
Agoraphobia
Obsessive-Compulsive disorder
Post-Traumatic Stress
Concerns about appearance
Worries about health
Source:

1) http://education-portal.com/academy/lesson/what-is-psychological-distress-definition-lesson-quiz.html

2) Ballard, M. Russell, Revised Edition Counseling with our Councils. Deseret Book Company, Salt Lake City UT: Deseret Book Company, 2012

3) Burr, Wesley R. Klein, Shirley R. and Associates Reexamining Family Stress, 2009.

4) Burns, D. D. (2007). When panic attack: The new, drug-free anxiety therapy that can change your life. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.

5) Family Councils: A conversation with Elder and Sister Ballard, Ensign, June 2003.

6) Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, Eds. Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and
Research Perspective Ch. 23 , 2012)
7) Michael D. Williams
Department of Home & Family
Brigham Young University—Idaho

8) Oaks, D. H. Spirituality. In The Pure In Heart (ch. 7). Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft.

9) Reproduced from Ingoldsby, B. B., Smith, S. R., & Miller, J. E. (2004). Exploring Family Theories. In Family Systems Theory (2nd Ed., Ch. 5, pp. 123-139). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

10) Risk and Resilience in Childhood: an ecological perspective/ Mark W. Fraser, editor 2nd ed.

11) Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New
Harbinger Publications, Inc.

12) Walsh, Froma. Strengthening Family Resilience

13) Weber, Janice G. Individual and Family Stress and Crises. SAGE Publications, Inc. 2010.

14) Wesley R. Klein, Shirley R. and Associates Reexamining Family Stress, 2009.




"The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children." The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Learning to use the appropriate coping tools will help to build and strengthen our character
Laying the Foundation
Coping: To face and deal successfully, or in a calm or adequate manner with; responsibilities, problems, or difficulties.
Building the Walls

Family Council

1) Prior to the meeting an agenda is provided.
2) Meet at a regular time each week.
3) Meet in a sacred location.
4) Before the meeting begins express love and appreciation for one another.
5) Open the meeting with a prayer.
6) Discuss each item to consensus, regarding the Lord's will on the matter.
7) End with a prayer.
8) Share refreshments together.
Example
: On the day of an
important
exam I experience a physiological response to this stress.

I cannot focus on anything other than the exam
My stomach feels a little queasy
My heart races and my hands feel clammy
ABCX Example
:
A
= A father loses his job.
B
= The family decides to move in with relatives, while the father goes back to school to further his education. The wife begins to work part time.
C
= The father feels like he has let his family down, but feels grateful for his wife for showing him such love and support during difficult times.
X
= The father was initially disappointed. Because he had the support of his family, he took this as an opportunity to become better educated and build a closer relationship with his family.
What Causes Anxiety?
Cognitive Model
- Your negative thoughts cause you to have anxiety.
Exposure Mode
l- Lack of exposure to a stressor causes anxiety. Fear of the unknown.
Hidden Emotional Mode
l- People who feel anxious are people-pleasers. They avoid negative emotions like conflict and anger.
Biological Model
: Anxiety and depression result from a chemical imbalance in the brain.


Double ABCX Model

Hamilton McCubbin and Joan Patterson created the Double ABCX Model. This new model expands upon Hill’s ABCX model with the addition of a
postcrisis
.
These variables were added to help identify why some families were able to adapt to crisis better than others.


Adding
Reinforcement

Factors that place a child “
at risk”
Poverty
Few opportunities for employment and schooling
Injustice
Discrimination
Harsh Parenting
Abusive Parents
Gender
Biomedical problems

Protective Factors:
Many opportunities for employment and schooling
Caring mentors
Positive parent-child relationship
Effective Parenting
“Easy going” disposition
Self-esteem- hardiness

Recognizing Distorted Thinking
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction
1) Become aware of ourselves
2) Recognize habitual patterns of thinking
4) Living in the moment
5) Tuning into our senses

The goal being to limit our stress reactions, (unconscious habitual patterns of reaction) and promoting more stress responses (acknowledging the change in emotion and applying the correct tools).

Mindfulness Exercises Include:

Mindful Check-ins
: Creating time each day to become completely aware of yourself and surroundings. (meditation)
Mindful Eating:
This is done by eating slower and taking the time to enjoy the smell, texture, and taste of your food.
Mindful Walking:
Spending a few minutes each day walking. While doing so, focus on your steps, take the time to count them, concentrate on your posture and the act of walking.
Mindful Breathing:
Breathing normally, but count your breaths and clear your mind so that you are thinking only about your breaths.

Strengthening Family Resiliency

Make Meaning of Adversity
We are able to weather crisis better when we come together.

Positive Outlook
Those who approach challenges with a “can do” attitude and realize we emerge stronger from having done so.

Transcendence and Spirituality
The ability to find spiritual meaning to our trials through faith in something greater than ourselves.

Family Shock Absorbers

Flexibility
- Offering stability and security, while being able to make adjustments/ changes within the family as needed.

Connectedness
- Respect for individual needs
- Strength through mutual support
- Seeking reconnection and reconciliation

Social and economic resources
- Extended family and social support
- Community networks
- Financial security


Becoming Resilient
From
Risk and Resilience in Childhood
we learn that there are certain factors that place a child, "
at risk
."

At risk
is defined as: "influences that increase the probability of harm"

There are also factors that protect a child and
decrease
their probability of being "
at risk"
.
"How well children respond to setbacks depends largely on how well their parents helped them develop the attitudes and the skills of resilience." -Lyle Burrop
Family Types

Open Families
-Rights of the individual members are protected
-Outside influences are permitted
-Families are bound together by love and respect
Random Family
-No boundaries
-Few Rules
-Children often associate freedom as a sign of a lack of love and caring
Closed Family
-Enmeshed
-Overly involved in each other’s lives
-No individual identity
-Outside influences not permitted

1
) Briefly describe the upsetting event
2
) Record your emotions and how the event made you feel
3
) Write down any negative thoughts you had during the event
4
) Identify the distortions in your thoughts
5
) Challenge each negative distortion with a 100% true positive thought
Family Typology Model

Expanding upon the Double ABCX Model of Family Adjustment, Marilyn McCubbin and Hamilton MCCubbin developed the Typology Model of Family Adjustment and Adaptation; adding the component of family types

A- Stressor event or transition
V- Family’s vulnerability
T- Family’s Typology
B- Family’s resistant resources
C- The appraisal the family makes of the event
PSC- The family’s problem solving and coping responses
X- Adjustment or adaption

Family Types

Regenerative Families
Family Hardiness
- sense of control and meaningfulness in life
Family Coherence
- acceptance, loyalty, pride, faith

Resilient Families
Family Bonding
- open to discussion, feeling close, desirous of connections
Family Flexibility
- open communication, compromise, willingness to shift responsibilities

Rhythmic Families
Time and Routine
- routines promote parent-child, husband-wife, and family unit
Valuing
- degree of importance of family time and routines

Traditionalistic Families
Celebrations
- spouse’s birthday, special occasions, and major holidays
Traditions
- holiday decorating, special experiences around changes
Weber, Janice G. Individual and Family Stress and Crises, Sage Publications, Inc., 2010

From Crisis to Crucible

Crucible:
a ceramic or metal container in which metals or other substances may be melted or subjected to very high temperatures

As we experience the trials and hardships in this life, we should try and find the meaning behind such circumstances and find the potential for personal or family growth.
What We Must Remember

"Families different considerably in how they function and in what helps them accomplish their goals. Even the best and most constructive strategies are not universally helpful, and strategies that are usually harmful are helpful in some situations."
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Spirituality

" The pure in heart have a distinctive way of lookin at life. Their attitudes and desires cause them to view their experiences in terms of eternity. This eternal perspective affects their choices and priorities" - Elder Oaks
In order to protect ourselves and our families from the harmful effects of stress, we must first have a foundational knowledge of stress.
Reinforcement is added when we allow life's adversities to make us stronger
Finding Meaning
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"Crucible experiences have the potential to change how we view ourselves, our relationships with others and our relationship with God, thus transforming our very natures. The Lord's prophets have called such experiences the refiners fire."
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By: Kyle Wilson
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