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Transcript of FLIRTING
Flirting Mariam Mansaray
Megan Ghanayem FLIRTING Table was taken from: Weber, K., Goodboy, A. K., & Cayanus, J. L. (2010). Flirting Competence: An Experimental Study on Appropriate and Effective Opening Lines. Communication Research Reports, 27(2), 184-191. Hall, J. A., Carter, S., Cody, M.J., & Albright, J. M. (2010). Individual differences in the communication of romantic interest: Development of the flirting styles inventory.
developed to incorporate research on goals, strategies, and motivations in flirting; the importance of gender roles and other research on courtship initiation Is Flirting Acceptable? Hakim, C., Mangan, L. & Thatcher, M., (2013) Tips/Guidelines for Initial Flirting 1. Third Party Introduction
Find a mutual friend to introduce you
2. Direct Introduction
Try to avoid saying things that will make the person feel uncomfortable
-Such as cheesy pick-up lines and complimenting the person right away Tips and Guidelines Tips and Guidelines 1. Know yourself
2. What type of flirt is your potential love prospect? Definition Initial Flirting Differences btwn. Men and Women Why Do We Flirt? Flirting can be defined as both the verbal and nonverbal behaviors people utilize when communicating with others. The motivations for such actions can be diverse in nature ranging from sexual attraction to building your self esteem. Regardless of the reason, the ultimate goal of flirting is to receive the attention and goodwill of the person you are flirting with.
Henningsen, D., Braz, M., & Davies, E. (2008). Why Do We Flirt?. Journal Of Business Communication, 45(4), 483-502. By: Henningsen, David & Braz, Mary & Davies, Elaine
Journal of Business Communication; Oct2008
This study tried to define similarities in our motivations for flirting. They limited their findings to 6 specific motivations. RESULTS 1. Sexual Motivation: As a specific method to initiate sexual interaction
2. Relational Motivation: Change the intensity of a relationship, increase intimacy
3. Fun Motivation: The desire for entertainment, for the enjoyment flirting brings
4. Exploring Motivation: Test another's willingness to start a relationship
5. Esteem Motivation: Desire to build self esteem
6. Instrumental Motivation: Persuade another to do a task or favor for you 1. Try to understand why that person is flirting with you. Not all flirting is sexual or relational.
2. Make sure to know which flirting is acceptable where, instrumental flirting may be okay in the office but sexual flirting most likely isn't.
3. Men perceive flirting as sexual at a higher rate than their female counterparts. Flirting can be ambiguous and used as a socio-sexual form of communication. Don't misinterpret flirting as it could be perceived as sexual harassment or lead to losing relationships. 1. Traditional: uses the traditional or gender specific roles during courtship
2. Physical: when flirting behaviors and sexual desire suggest that sexual contact will be an important part of the courtship
3. Sincere: Marked by the desire to create an emotional bond with the potential romantic partner
4. Playful: Views flirting as "just for fun", typically not tied to relationship development
5. Polite: the more rule-governed and cautious approach 5 Flirting Styles Results Method: Study of 111 undergraduate students
Each flirting style demonstrated significant sex differences
Women were much more likely to report using traditional, psychical, sincere and polite
Men were more likely to describe themselves as having a playful flirting style Where Is Flirting
Appropriate? In this article, author Catherine Hakim and journalist Lucy Mangan discuss work ethics by focusing on the use of sexuality for gaining success at workplace. They examine whether flirting in the workplace is appropriate. 1. In a position of power, the ability to usecharm and charisma as a tactic for convincing employees or counterparts to support them is a short step from “flirting.”
2. Different cultures perceive flirting in different ways.
The French and other Mediterranean culture view flirting as an essential social tool.
-Knowing how to flirt allows people in top positions the opportunity to be liked and gain support within the workplace, thus enhancing their experience.
Anglo-Saxon puritan cultures of northern Europe, flirting is not as openly embraced.
3. Flirting in the office, or in business, only becomes problematic when people do not know how to do it with style, without giving or taking offence.
4. Men and women will naturally find each other attractive and that the puritan cultures of Britain and northern Europe have something to learn from the more relaxed and hedonistic cultures of southern Europe.
5. Flirting in the office is a harmless, and such can be useful in fostering good working relationships. 1. Though it is human nature to flirt with someone you find attractive, that should be saved for after work.
2. Merging the gap between personal and professional will create anxiety in the workplace.
It will cause speculation, possible jealousy, and leave room for doubt in one's abilities.
2. Flirting is a short lived tactic that allows the person to receive temporary gain, but face jeopardizing the rest of the work outcome because of continued speculation of how they progress in the workplace.
3. Especially harder for women who flirt in the workplace, emphasizing that it only increases the difficulty in gaining respect in an already male dominated work environment.
4. Most importantly Mangin touches on the fact that women who flirt decrease the severity in the fight against sexual harassment and undermine the “perceived professional competence of women.” Hakim Mangan Tips and Guidelines 1. Understand your workplace atmosphere
If more relaxed certain gestures are accepted.
If more strict then certain gestures are inappropriate.
2. If you have concerns, Wait to act out flirting after work to avoid speculation.
3. Do not cross the line, keep things verbal. Act on reciprocal behavior.
4. Keep work as the number one priority. Article Title: Women's Perceptions of Flirtatious Nonverbal Behavior: The Effects of Alcohol Consumption and Physical Attractiveness.
By: Lannutti, Pamela J. & Camero, Melissa O.
Journal: Southern Communication Journal, Jan2007 This study examined alcohol's influence on how women perceive the flirtatious nonverbal behavior of men.
Three behaviors were studied:
Move 1) A man putting his arm around a woman
Move 2) A man putting his hand on a woman's thigh
Move 3) A man trying to kiss a woman
These actions were observed in conjuncture with
1) whether the woman was: intoxicated or sober
2) whether the man's reward value was: high or low Findings of Study Results Women who had been consuming alcohol expected the man to put his arm around a woman significantly more than those who were sober.
Expectations were the same with placing a hand on her thigh and trying to kiss her.
Being intoxicated increases a woman's acceptance of physical contact, so long as it is not a significant immediacy violation.
Alcohol consumption did NOT change a woman's evaluation of a man's reward value significantly.
Men with a higher reward value are granted more leeway and seen more positively by women. Men: Be aware of your reward value.
If she's not drinking, be more cautious.
If she's intoxicated, don't think anything goes.
Women: Be aware of the reward value which you give to a man.
Realize that alcohol increases your tolerance for violations.
How you judge men does NOT change with alcohol consumption. Tips for Being a
Competent Communicator Scenarios Have you ever been in a workplace where someone flirted with you? How did you react? Who do you think flirts more for fun, men or women? Why? What are some pickup lines you have used, or that have been used on you? Have they been affective?