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Violence is Preventable: Healthy, Unhealthy, and Abusive Relationships

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CWWA Counsellors

on 20 November 2014

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Transcript of Violence is Preventable: Healthy, Unhealthy, and Abusive Relationships

Violence is preventable:
healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships
What we will cover today
Stats about abuse
Definition of abuse
Healthy/unhealthy relationship spectrum
Myths vs. facts
How to get Help
Where to get help
NSCSS Adolescent & Children's Empowerment (ACE) Program
Jennifer or Nicole
604-987-0366
www.nscss.net
Different types of abuse?
How common is abuse?
STATS
so... What is Abuse?
Myths Vs. Facts
Types of Abuse
Abuse happens when one person exerts power and control over another

Relationships can be healthy, unhealthy, abusive, or
anywhere in between
Emotional and Verbal
Non-physical behaviour such as threats, insults, isolation, intimidation
It is estimated that 3-5 children in every classroom have witnessed violence in their home (Jaffe et al., 1990)
Exposure to violence can negatively affect peer relationships and academic achievement
Stats Continued
Close to 40% of women worldwide experience some form of sexual or physical violence (WHO, 2013)

80% of victims of criminal harassment are women while 90% of the accused are men (GSS, 1999)
Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse
A teen's confusion about the law and their desire for confidentiality are two of the biggest barriers stopping them from seeking help
(loveisrespect.org)
When a Relationship isn't healthy...
Remember, relationships that are UN-healthy are based on
Power & Control
Are you with someone who...
But why do people stay...
Fear
Social/Peer Pressure
Cultural/Religious reasons
Financial Dependency
Nowhere to go
Disability
Language/Immigration Barriers
Low Self-Esteem
Children
Believing that Abuse is Normal
Domestic Violence is not a problem where I live
Dishonest
Disrespectful
Intimidating
Hostile
Manipulative
Overly-Critical
Discouraging
Possessive
Controlling
Jealous
Threatening
Violent
Nicole & Jennifer
Adolescent and Children's Empowerment Counsellors (ACE)
Domestic violence and abuse is NOT the abuser's loss of control over their behaviour. Their behaviours and violence is a deliberate choice

The focus of our program is to teach youth to Recognize, Prevent, and if needed Escape Unhealthy Relationships

(Loveisrespect.org)
Stalking
Being repeatedly watched, followed, or harassed
Financial Abuse
Using money or access to accounts to exert power or control

Physical
Ex. hitting, shoving, slapping, strangling, using a weapon

Sexual
Using pressure, alcohol, drugs, or force to have sexual contact against someone's will
Digital
The use of technology (such as texting, social networking) to bully, harass, stalk, blackmail or intimidate
Alcohol, Drug Abuse, Stress & Mental Illness cause domestic violence
Domestic Violence in a personal problem between partners
If it were that bad, a person would just leave
Isolating
Scary
Signs of a healthy relationship
Remember, healthy relationships are based on
Equality & Respect
Respect
Compromise
Open Communication
Consent
Encouragement
Honesty
Safe
Compassion
Positive
Freedom
cycle of violence
Challenge what you think you know!
Warning Signs!
The victim brought it on her/himself. It's not the abuser's fault
Trust
Appreciation
Boundaries
Is
jealous
&
possessive
toward you, won't accept breaking up?
Checks your cell phone, social networking sites and email
without permission?
Tries to
control
you, gives orders, doesn't take your opinion seriously?
Is
scary
? You worry about how they will react to things you say or do?
Blames
you when they
mistreat
you? Says YOU provoked them, made them do it, led them on?
Has
threatened
to "Out You" to your family, friends, teachers?
Is
violent?
Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly or brags about mistreating others?
Isolates
you from your family & friends?
Talking helps!
School Counsellor
Teacher
Police
Adult you trust
Crisis line
Us!
Dependable
Sexting... So what?
No matter what app you use if you send nude photos online, there will always be a copy. Photos can easily be screen captured, forwarded, posted online, and manipulated
Soliciting and forwarding sexts (etc) IS ILLEGAL. Sending nude photos of minors is a criminal offense and breaks child pornography laws.
Sexts are often spread after a relationship ends - remember that your boyfriend or girlfriend may not be as trusting or respectful after a relationship ends.
In Canada,
50% of women
over 16 have been physically or sexually abused (WAVAW, 2014)
Full transcript